Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Expanded Edition: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

by Steve Harvey

My humor is always rooted in truth and full of wisdom—

too many women are clueless about men, (b) men get away with a whole lot of stuff in relationships because women have never understood how men think, and (c) I’ve got some valuable information to change all of that. I discovered this when my career transitioned to radio with the Steve Harvey Morning

dating, commitment, security, family baggage, hopes for tomorrow, spirituality, in-law drama, body image, aging, friendships, children, work/home balance, education. You name the topic, somebody asked me about

I teach them very quickly that expecting a man to respond to them the way a woman would is never going to work.

men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make. No matter if a man is a CEO, a CON, or both, everything he does is filtered through his title (who he is), how he gets that title (what he does), and the reward he gets for the

effort (how much he makes).

man. He is taught to be tough—to wrestle, climb, get up without crying, not let anyone push him around.

He is taught to protect—

Each of these things is taught in preparation for one thing: manhood.

women only fit into the cracks of his life.

This is the drive that

every man has, whether he’s the

Encoded in the DNA of the male species is that we are to be the provider and the protector of the family, and everything we do is geared toward ensuring we can make this happen.

Even more, we want to feel like we’re number one.

understand a man’s motivation—why he’s not home, why he spends so much time working, why he’s watching his money the way he does.

In my experience, these facts don’t always sit well with most women.

that if a man truly loves you, the two of you should be able to pursue your dreams together.

Stability is important to you, but you’d rather build the foundation...

be. The way you can help him get there is to help him focus on his dream, see the vision, and implement his

“The Five Questions Every Woman Should Ask Before She Gets in Too Deep”),

Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional.

I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to.

That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance.

I want him to look in my eyes and tell me I’m

beautiful and that I complete him.

I’m just saying that a man’s love is different—much more simple, direct, and probably a little harder to come

man who is in love with you is probably not going to call you every half hour and give you an update on how much more he loves you at 5:30 P.M. than he did at 5:00 P.M.;

His love is still love, though. It’s just different from the love that women give and, in a lot of cases, want.

and everybody, “Look, man, this is my woman” or “this is my girl,” “my baby’s mama,” or “my lady.” In other words, you will have a title—an official one that far extends beyond “this is my friend,” or “this is__________ (insert your name here).” That’s because a man who has placed you in the most special part of his heart—the man who truly has feelings for you—will give you a

title is his way of letting everyone within the sound of his voice know that he’s proud of being with you,

not so many words that he’s claiming you—

So, if you’ve been dating a guy for at least ninety days and you’ve never met his mother, you don’t go to church together, you haven’t been around his family or his friends, and he took you to a networking/job/social function and introduced you by your name, then you’re not in his plans—he doesn’t see you in his future.

that’s the minute you know your man is making a statement.

Once we’ve claimed you, and you’ve returned the honor, we’re going to start bringing home the bacon.

This is the very core of manhood—to be the provider.

I’m here to tell you, though, ladies, that the term “gold digger” is one of the traps we men set to keep you off our money trail; we created that term for you so that we can have

Know this: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exchange for your time. You all have to stop this foolishness with the “I pay

When a man truly loves you, anybody who says, does, suggests, or even thinks about doing something offensive to you stands the risk of being obliterated.

Your man will destroy anything and everything in his path to make sure that whoever disrespected you pays for it. This is his nature. You pick most any male species on

no one is going to disrespect their family without paying a cost—or at least put...

admit that his mother is capable of making mistakes, or (b) let someone say or do something to his mother. This is taught to males practically from the womb—

Do not come back in this house without your mother and your sisters.

Now, I knew good and hell well that if anybody so much as raised a finger to my mother,

Indeed, that is what every man is supposed to—and

In other words, he’s going to be providing protection and leadership for his family because he knows a real man is a protector.

Protection isn’t just about using brute, physical force against someone, though. A man who truly cares

about or loves you can and will protect you in other ways, whether it be with advice, or stepping up to perform a task that he thinks is too dangerous for you to do.

But I firmly believe that a real woman can bring out the best in a man; sometimes we need only meet a real woman other than our own mother to bring out our best qualities.

you have to stop heaping your own definition of love on men and recognize that men love differently.

“The Three Ps of Love—Profess, Provide, and Protect.”