Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Expanded Edition: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

by Steve Harvey

Relax. He loves you, he’s committed to you, and you know it. The crazy boss will get less crazy at the end of the project and prayerfully his elderly loved one will be back on his or her feet in due time. Be patient

Don’t take ANYTHING personally. • Hear where your man is coming from. • Be patient with him. • Plan a couples’ getaway. • Mix up your routine. • Send him a love letter or an e-mail just because. • Remember to thank him for the little things. • Schedule an impromptu “afternoon delight” or a “midnight rendezvous.” • Try out some new lingerie.

Are you included in his vision for the future? Ladies, there’s no harm in starting off this conversation being direct. This is your LIFE and your HAPPINESS on the

2. Are you ready to have a full-time man in your life? I know this may sound like a crazy question, but some of you have been doing your own thing for so long that you haven’t considered what it will be like having a man in your life 24/7. You probably have a very clear outlook for your

3. Are you 100 percent supportive of his career? His job requires him to be on the road at least two weeks per month or he has odd hours that keep him away from home during dinner.

Are your communication styles compatible? You’re an introvert. He’s an extrovert. Your first defense during a fight is to shut down; his first instinct is to explode. If you haven’t had a major breakdown together, you might want to rethink that trip to the jeweler. You don’t really know him until he gets hit with

5. Are your financial habits and goals aligned? Let’s imagine that you and your future spouse both have spent several rewarding years at your respective jobs and you are both blessed with significant bonuses.

Are you ready to have a family with him? I know your heart melted when you saw him playing with his nieces and nephews, but is he ready to become a full-time dad? Find out where he stands on having children (and how many!). Do you want to have children right away or do you want to wait? And, ladies, don’t let your biological clock or

7. Are you comfortable with each other’s children? Blending families together can be challenging. My wife, Marjorie, and I have seven children together from both of our previous relationships.

Are you comfortable with each other’s families? You’ve finally figured out how to deal with his overbearing mother during family gatherings but are you ready to deal with her for the rest of your life? He’s now comfortable with your family that includes six siblings, eighteen nieces and nephews,

Are you comfortable with his friends? His best friends have been with him since college and their bond is stronger than superglue. You know

10. Are you prepared for better or for worse? As we’ve seen during the last economic crisis, people can go from millionaire to welfare overnight. A beloved relative can suddenly pass on. Or you might need to provide temporary housing for a younger sibling or a cousin. Anything can happen at any time. Are you REALLY

1. Be clear about the status of your relationship. Do not and I mean DO NOT enter any family gathering unless you are 100 percent sure that you

Get a primer on his family and his relationships with the most important members. Who will you be meeting the first time? Both parents? Grandparents? His siblings? His favorite nephew? A beloved great-uncle? Ask your man to share stories about his family members and his relationships with the ones who are most important to him.

Dress appropriately. Yes, your man enjoys it when you dress to highlight all your “assets,” but dinner at grandma’s house is not the place to put on your Saturday-night attire. You don’t have to dress like a nun, but make sure that you are still beautiful yet appropriate. First impressions go a long way.

of the woman that your man is proud to bring home to his family. Don’t pull out any fake accents or try to be something that you’re not. Be proud and confident about who you are and that genuine light

1. First, let your man know that something has made you uncomfortable. It’s his family reunion and one of his overly flirtatious uncles decides to make a pass at you. You have politely chuckled and tried to divert

family members still have wayward things to say after your man has addressed the issue, respectfully let the offenders know that you will not tolerate

Set a timer for family gatherings. You love him, but his family can be draining. You can still respect them and preserve your sanity by setting a limit for how much time you will spend at his family functions.

Separate the pack. Some family members can be less intimidating or less confrontational when you get to know them one-on-one. If you’re comfortable, invite his mother out one Saturday afternoon for a manicure or join his favorite cousin

WHAT DO MEN THINK OF THEIR WOMEN WHEN THEY GAIN WEIGHT, OR LOOK DIFFERENT THAN THEY DID IN THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP?