Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Expanded Edition: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

by Steve Harvey

If you’ve got a man who does these things for you, trust me, he’s all in.

Women are complicated creatures. You need stuff. Lots of it. And you expect your man to provide it, even if you haven’t explained what it is you need and want, or even if what you needed and wanted five minutes ago is wholly different

I say should because for women, happiness isn’t guaranteed,

We fully recognize that you maintain the right to change at any time the perimeters, conditions, and specifics of what, exactly, will make you happy, and we try

Now men, by contrast, are very simple creatures.

support, love, and “The Cookie.”

We have to feel like somebody’s got our

we want to be able to let our guard down.

“Baby, how was your day? Thank you for making it happen for us.

We’ve got to feel like we’re king, even if we d...

to say, “Baby, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what you do for me and the kids.” Those simple words give us the strength to keep

Thank you, baby. I appreciate

And the woman who comes along and says, “You so big and strong and you’re everything I need,” well, we’re going to go get some more of that!

Please understand that our love is wholly different from a woman’s

woman’s love is emotional, nurturing, heartfelt—sweet and kind and all encompassing.

when she’s in love with you, she is loyal to you—she can’t see herself with someone else, because ...

love is loyalty.

We want you to show your love to us by being loyal.

That’s loyalty—our kind of love. To men, they are one and the same. The kind of love you require is beautiful, but our

If your loyalty is real and unimpeachable, that man will kill concrete for you. He ain’t going no damn where.

No-brainer. Men. Need. Sex.

We need to be physically engaged with the woman we love,

The emotional stuff—the talking, the cuddling, the holding hands, and bonding, that’s y’all’s thing.

But please understand: the way we men connect is by having sex. Period. It’s how we plug in, recharge, and reconnect. I d...

guy if sex is important in a ...

And can’t one of them survive without sex.

But the excuses can’t go on forever.

television. He liked to have sex. She was always too tired to have sex.

dine his wife every night in order to have sex with her. That’s unreasonable.

To sum up, we’ve got to have these three things—support, loyalty, and sex—

Communicating, nurturing, listening to problems, and trying to understand them without any obligation to fix them is simply not what boys are raised

I’m telling you now: your expectations are off. Women have different moods, and ideas in their head, and you all expect us to fall in line, and if we don’t, it’s a problem—

I’m telling you right now: if you go to your man with a situation that’s fixable and he doesn’t try to fix it, he is not your man—he is not in love with you.

man approaches you, he has a plan. And the main plan is to sleep with you, or to find out what it takes to sleep with you.

you: a man always wants something. Always. And when it comes to women, that plan is always to find out two things: (1) if you’re willing to sleep with him, and (2) if you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him. That’s his mission in the club.

This is useful information to you because now you know when a man approaches you, you can cut through the riffraff,

When you’re not aware that all men have plans, you’re not placing requirements on him, and if you’re not setting any ground rules, then you’re

essentially telling him that you’re open for his rules. You’ve established that you don’t care how often he

A man fishes for two reasons: he’s either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he’s either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies

This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women. See, men are, by

nature, hunters, and women have been put in the position of being the prey.

We pursued—in fact, we’ve been taught all our lives that it was not only a good thing to chase women,

Never gives in easily, and the standards/requirements start the moment you open your mouth. See, she understands her power and wields it like a samurai sword.

Newsflash: it’s not the guy who determines whether you’re a sports fish or a keeper—

You control what you can control—your image, the way you conduct yourself, the way you let men talk to and approach you—and use that to get the relationship you want.

Need more examples of differences between sports fish and keepers? Read on: 1. A woman who commands respect is a keeper; a woman who lets men get away with disrespecting her is a throwback. 2. A woman who is dressed appropriately—has her goodies reasonably covered, but is still sexy, is a keeper; a woman who is scantily clad and dripping sex is a throwback. 3. A woman who won’t let you feel all over her body while you’re dancing is a keeper; a woman who drops it like it’s hot and puts on a dance

floor performance that would make video vixen Karrine Steffans blush is a throwback. 4. A woman who takes a man’s number but doesn’t give him her own is a keeper; a woman who hands out her home, work, and cell phone numbers and e-mail and home addresses to a man who’s done nothing more than buy her a drink and ask how he can reach her is a throwback. 5. A woman who can hold a respectful, respectable conversation with a man and his mother is a keeper; a woman who shudders at the prospect of having to talk to the matriarch of a man’s family is a throwback. 6. A woman who can adapt to any situation thrown at her—she can hold her own at the PTA meeting, in the boardroom, in a restaurant, at a

sporting event—is a keeper; a woman who can’t put together a coherent sentence or makes it clear she has no interest in doing so is a throwback. 7. A woman who knows she wants to be married and raise a family and lets a man know this up front is a keeper; a woman who doesn’t have a plan for her relationship life beyond next weekend is a throwback. 8. A woman whom we can introduce to our friends and family is a keeper; a woman we don’t even bother introducing to our friends or family is a throwback. 9. A woman who smiles and takes care of herself ...

all the ocean, and doesn’t hesitate to lay somebody out for the slightest transgression is a throwback. 10. A woman who shows her appreciation for all that you do for her is a keeper; a woman who acts like nothing you do can make her happy is a throwback. 11. A woman who is loyal is a keeper; a woman who always has her eye out for the next best thing is a throwback. 12. A woman who understands that a man validates his manhood by who he is, what he does, and how much he makes, and who knows how to finesse her...

sword and belittles his career and financial contributio...