Lead (Stage Dive, #3)

by Kylie Scott

“Break something badly enough, there’s no point trying to fix it.”

Little wonder he was so defensive, he’d been taught to expect attack, to trust no one.

The pain he carried around had to end. Few deserved freedom from their past as much as Jimmy did. He’d worked so hard, turned his entire life around.

I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. He was my Romeo in black jeans and this story had just as much a chance of dying as tragic a death as the original. And still, all of the love I had for him in my heart spilled over, filling every part of me with those familiar warm fuzzy feelings. I’d been “in love” before, sure. The difference here was, I loved him, all of him, and there’d be no easy getting over it this time. Every part of me wanted him, I yearned for him on the cellular level. There could be no escaping emotions of this magnitude. His good and bad, dark and light, his nice parts and his nasty.

So I loved him in silence.

He really was a very attractive man, but all I saw were the pieces of Jimmy in him, the shared genetics. Or maybe that was love, searching for traces of what your heart longed for everywhere you went. Perhaps I’d always be trying to see him from now on.

It’s like you’re his new drug of choice. Only you’re actually good for him.”

“Problem is, he just doesn’t know how to deal with you. Doesn’t feel worthy of the kind of love I have with Ev, or Mal has with Anne.”

A girl likes to be missed.”

I wanted to sink straight into him, know him inside and out. I wanted to protect him and cherish him, encourage him and love him.

I wasn’t what he wanted. He’d said it so many times, in so many different ways. It seemed only now however that my heart was truly taking it in, letting go. Our time together would come to an end. I couldn’t stop loving him, and he refused to start. That was the cold hard truth.

I would have done this anyway. I just want the best for you, ’cause that’s what you deserve.”

“Don’t hate me, Lena,” he whispered. “You want to be mad at me when I do dumb things, that’s fine. But don’t ever hate me. I couldn’t take that, not from you.”

He felt like home.

No other man had ever made me feel this wanted, this adored. Sure as hell, none had ever called to me the way he did, body and soul.

Unrequited love was a bitch.

If he was the great love of my life, then it was only right that we went out with a bang. Nothing could fix things now the words had been said. I knew that. I felt it in every fiber of my being. This was good-bye.

Nothing in me didn’t belong to him, whether I wanted it or not. Regardless of what made rational sense, my heart gave and gave until there was nothing left. But isn’t that the way of some loves?

Love was truly one of life’s mysteries. That it could fuck you five ways to Sunday and still remain so utterly perplexing and unknown was kind of impressive. I guess it all depends on how you look at it.

Somethings were meant to be felt to their fullest. Get it out, get it over with, and all the rest.

My immediate existence revolved around expunging every trace of him from my memory.

My broken heart had been taped and glued to perfection. And all of these things were gone. They had to be gone so I could face the future and put him in the past.

My emotions needed to calm the fuck down.

“Stupid him, more like it. My girl’s a queen. Any boy that can’t see that doesn’t deserve to get within spitting distance.”

I’m pretty damn sure Dante meant to make weddings one of the levels of hell and just forgot.

Brokenhearted people really did need to just be left the fuck alone. We’re not suitable company for anyone.

Apparently, I had issues forgiving people who said shitty things to me.

staring, I drank in the sight of him in like I’d been wandering lost for years.

“I need you to come back with me, please.” His breath warmed my ear. The heat of his body beckoned against my back. “I can’t stand not having you there, not knowing what you’re thinking, what you’re doing, not being able to tell you things and share them with you. It’s just … nothing’s the same. I hate waking up without you and I worry constantly that you’re okay, that you’ve got everything you need. Look, the truth is, I’m all about you, Lena. You’re my best friend. You’re my girl.” I closed my eyes, just listening to his words. “No one else has ever meant what you do to me. Please, just … just, come back with me and stay. For good.”

I’ve never felt this way about anyone.

What happened to my heart couldn’t be described.