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Watch . . . and just go on noting. And if you are not condemning, if you are not justifying, if you are not saying good or bad, if you are not a puritan moralist, if you are simply a pure observer, you will be able to see—because it is within you, where your energy is. And once you have found where it is, start working.
Love has to pull sex energy up, and then meditation has to pull love energy up. Once you are at the highest point, the sahasrar, what is called in the East the “thousand-petaled lotus” in your head opens. It only opens at the highest peak.
Zen is neither for anything nor against anything. Zen says whatsoever is ordinary is good. To be ordinary, to be a no one, to be a nothingness, to be without any ideology, to be without character, to be characterless . . .
If you go swimming, swim as a total being so you become swimming, a verb; the noun is dissolved. If you run, then become running, not a runner.
Life should be a passion, a vibrating, pulsating passion, a tremendous energy. Whatsoever you do it should not be dull, otherwise don’t do it. There is no duty to do anything, but whatsoever you feel like doing, really do it.
Socrates said, “I don’t tolerate her. She has helped me to learn many things—for example, patience. I am grateful to her. Right now, she has again given me another lesson, that even if hot water is poured over you, you can remain cool.
Without her, it would have been difficult for me to discover these spaces.” Socrates was never angry with his wife, he was always compassionate.
That’s why people who are very egoistic cannot achieve sexual orgasm. They cannot be in a let-go; they cannot allow their unconscious to take over.
Wherever you can feel death, feel it. Don’t escape. Death is beautiful; death is the greatest mystery, more mysterious than life.
But I say to you on my own authority, that if you are sensuous enough, you will feel even ordinary things—clothes, a cold drink, a hot cup of tea or coffee, the smell of the coffee, the fragrance of tea boiling in the kettle, the aroma that it creates—and they will all make you richer and richer, more and more alive.
A simple thing has to be understood: love—the love that you are talking about—is not in your hands. You have fallen into it. It was not in your power not to fall, so when it comes, it takes you with
it.
The man, to be really manly, should offer his shoulders for the woman to use so that she can rise up and get out of the ditch. And the man can find his own gymnastics, how to do it.
Rising in love means a learning, a changing, a maturity.
Love should come out of your silence, awareness, meditativeness. It is soft, it is unbinding—because how can love create fetters for the one who is loved?
The wise man never imposes his idea on anyone. If somebody asks him, he simply gives his insight.
I teach a different kind of love. It does not end in friendship but begins in friendship. It begins in silence, in awareness. It is a love that is your own creation, which is not blind.
Don’t let biology dominate you. Your consciousness should be the master.
Try to understand the whole thing. Whenever you are sexually related you are afraid, because sex is really not a relationship, it is an exploitation.
You are exploiting each other, but you don’t love and you know it, so you are afraid.
But then a problem arises. When all the doors are closed, the man becomes dead, the woman becomes dead, a prisoner, a slave—and you cannot love a dead thing. You cannot love one who is not free because love is beautiful only when it is given freely, when it is not taken and demanded and forced.
Sex creates jealousy but it is a secondary thing.
The question is how to transform sex into love, then jealousy disappears.
If you love a person, the very love is enough guarantee, the very love is enough security. If you love a person, you ...
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Love is just a painted word, the reality is sex.
Either trust or move.
Love is a dangerous path and only those who have courage can travel it. And I say to you it is the same, just like meditation—it is only for those who are courageous. And there are only two ways to reach
the divine: either meditation or love. Find out which is your way, which can be your destiny.
When I say meditate over it, I don’t mean think it over, I don’t mean concentrate on it, I don’t mean contemplate it. When I say meditate over it, I mean watch, be a witness. Whatsoever the problem—anger, sexuality, jealousy, greed, ego—the medicine is the same.
If you suffer from jealousy, just watch how it arises in you, how it grabs you, surrounds you, clouds you, tries to manipulate you. How it drags you into paths where you never wanted to go in the first place, how finally it creates great frustration in you, destroys your energy, dissipates your energy, and leaves you very negatively depressed, frustrated. Just watch the whole thing.
Just see the facticity of it, without
condemnation, without appreciation, without any judgment for or against. Just watch, aloof, distant, as if you have nothing to do with it. Be very scientific in watching.
One of the most important scientific contributions to the world is nonj...
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When I say meditate over it, I mean watch. Be a scientist in your inner world. Let your mind be your lab, and observe—with no condemnation,
What happens when you watch without any judgment? You start seeing through and through. Jealousy becomes transparent: you see the stupidity of it, you see the foolishness of it. Not that you have already decided that it is stupid; if you have decided you will miss the whole point. Remember it: I am not saying decide it is stupid, it is foolish. If you decide, you miss the whole point. You simply go without any decision, just to see what exactly it is.
crazy looking for the jewelry.” .
What is the fear? The fear is that the other may be able to see your emptiness if he comes too close. It has nothing to do with the other. You have never been able to accept your inner emptiness—that’s the fear. You have made a very, very decorated surface: you have a beautiful face and you have a good smile and you talk well and you are very articulate and you sing well and you have a beautiful body and a beautiful persona.
But those are on the surface. Behind them is simple emptiness.
You ask: “Why do I feel fear when somebody comes close to me?” It is a great insight that has happened to you.
The beauty is in simplicity, in innocence, in being natural, in being spontaneous.
People should be more intelligent and they should appreciate; they should help each other to appreciate. They should say to each other, “You are right. That woman looks beautiful, that man looks beautiful.” And there is nothing wrong in it. And it is not
going to destroy your love; it is, really, enhancing it, strengthening it. To communicate with each other so authentically is always a nourishment for love.
Whenever you start pretending, whenever you are forced to pretend, whenever you are forced to say something you don’t want to say and you are not allowed to say something you wanted to say the...
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Men or women are not things to possess, they are people; they have to be respected. They are not means to be used.
Accept whomsoever you are. No condemnation, no judgment, no evaluation. If you are a homosexual, so what?! Enjoy it!
And unless a man is capable of laughing at himself, he does not know what laughter is and the beauty of laughter.
The real man is always ready to expose himself to the very core, because he is not afraid.
No jealousy is possible only when you have come to accept yourself so utterly that now there is no comparison; you don’t compare yourself with anybody. Even if your man moves to somebody else it does not create any comparison;
This is what I call the basic understanding that is needed in every relationship: don’t make him feel guilty, that’s all. He does not make you feel guilty and ask why you are feeling jealous; one should not feel jealous. That is not the point, that one should or should not.
We are only our own masters and nobody should pretend to be a master over somebody else. When freedom is left intact love grows infinitely.
