Sex Matters: From Sex to Superconsciousness

by Osho

But all lovers want the beloved to love only them, no one else. They don’t know that unless you can lov...

The wife says her husband should love only her and not be loving toward anybody else; the stream of his love should flow only toward her. But she does not realize that such love is false, and that she has caused it to be false. How can a husband w...

To be loving means it is the nature of your life, around the clock. You cannot be full of love for one person and devoid of love for others. But up till now, we ...

His son could have grown into a loving man if he had been taught to be loving toward all.

Love is a matter of inner nature, not of relationship. Love has nothing to do with relationship, love is a state of being.

If a child even puts down a book in an unloving way, the child’s attention should be drawn to the fact: “It is unseemly to place the book that way. You have misbehaved with the book. It indicates a shortcoming.”

The mystic answered, “If there is enough room in your heart, you will feel that even a hut is a palace.

But if your heart is narrow, even a palace seems too small to receive a guest.

was not the mystic’s love for him that had given him a place, but that it was because the mystic was full of love, was loving.

All that is needed is to create a loving attitude, a loving heart. When there is a loving heart within, then it brings an aura of contentment, an aura of delight.

Have you never realized that the most profound moments of contentment are those which come in moments of unconditional love?

The potential to love should grow within you—love for plants, birds, and animals, love for human beings, love for strangers, love for foreigners, love for those who may be far away from you, the moon and the stars. Your love should grow.

Love and meditation together open the door to godliness. Love plus meditation is equal to godliness. Where love and meditation join, godliness is attained. And the outcome of this attainment is celibacy.

But difficult does not mean impossible. Difficult means a little more effort. Difficult means a little more determination. Difficult means a little more intention. It means that you have to break the set patterns of your personality with more decisiveness and open up new channels.

People want to show they know—even about things they actually know nothing of! None of them knew the meaning of the breaking of Shiva’s bow. Wouldn’t it have been better for them to accept their ignorance and ask about it? But nobody is prepared to acknowledge his ignorance.

Those who have done research on sex, who have gone deeply into it and have gathered many life experiences, have come to the conclusion that if orgasm lasts for one minute, a person will desire sex again the very next day, but if orgasm can be prolonged for three minutes, the person will not even think of sex for a whole week. They have observed that if this orgasmic state, this freedom from ego and time can be prolonged for seven minutes, one will be so free of sex that the idea will not even arise in the imagination for the next three months. And if the period can be extended to three hours, one will be free of sex forever; one will never desire it again.

The faster one’s breathing during intercourse, the shorter the duration of it; the calmer and more relaxed one’s breathing, the longer the duration of the intercourse. If you can come to a totally relaxed breathing, the duration of intercourse can be prolonged to any extent. And the longer intercourse lasts, the more the experience of the elements of superconsciousness—the egolessness and timelessness I have talked about—begins to take place. The breathing should be very relaxed. As it relaxes, newer depths, meanings, and realizations in sex will begin to be revealed.

Another thing to remember, if during the act of intercourse your awareness is focused between the eyes, where yoga says the third eye center is, the

duration of lovemaking can be extended up ...

It is necessary to step on this first rung with consciousness, understanding, and awareness.

People who shy away from the truths of life are enemies of humanity.

The reason for this is that you cannot rely on the mind. Today the mind desires one thing, tomorrow it will ask for something else. It wants one thing in the morning and something else in the evening. What it feels now will be totally different from what it felt only moments ago.

You have to know the actuality first to realize the possibility. To know what you can be, it is a necessity first to know what you are. To understand the last step it is necessary to understand the first,

I said that you should strive for a continuous awareness for the glimpse of samadhi in sex and try to grasp that point, that glimpse of samadhi that flashes like lightning in the midst of sexual intercourse. The lightning comes for a moment and then vanishes. Try to grasp and understand that state and what it is. Try to know it. Catch hold of it. If you are able to become aware of it even once, in that awareness you will know that you are not a body—in that moment, you are bodilessness.

Man can. He can do something about himself. He can observe himself from a distance; he can look at his own energies as if they are separate from him. And then either he can suppress them, or he can transform them.

I also say unless sex disappears you will not be able to enter into the Kingdom of God. But sex disappears only when you have accepted it totally—not suppressed, but transformed.

I teach you a new control: the control of the witnessing self,

Move into sex but be a witness. The only thing to remember is: I must encounter the whole process, I must see through it, I must remain a witness, I should not become unconscious—that’s all.

If you are alert,

you can feel it. You will feel that you have become a vehicle of a vital energy moving.

But this merger should not become unconscious; otherwise you miss the point.

If you remain alert you will see, first, changes of energy in the body; second, dropping of the thoughts from the mind; and third, dropping of the ego from the heart. These three things have to be observed, watched carefully. And when the third has happened, sex energy has become meditative energy.

This is what Shiva goes on talking about in Vigyan Bhairav Tantra and in other Tantra books.* He goes on talking about this phenomenon: you are transmuted, a mutation has happened. This will happen through witnessing.

If you follow suppression, you can become so-called human beings—bogus, superficial, hollow within, just dummies, not authentic, not real. If you don’t follow suppression but follow indulgence, you will become like an animal—beautiful, more beautiful than so-called civilized man, but just animals—not alert, not aware, not conscious of the possibility of growth, of the human potential.

Witnessing is the basic source. But it will be difficult to become a witness in the sex act if you are not trying to become a witness in other acts of your life. So try it the whole day, otherwise you will be in self-deception. If you cannot become a witness while walking on the road, don’t try to deceive yourself, you cannot become a witness while making love. If just walking on the road, such a simple process, and you cannot become a witness—you become unconscious in it—how can you become a witness while making love? The process is so deep, you will fall unconscious.

So try with simple things, simple activities. While eating, try it. While walking, try it. While talking, listening, try it. Try from everywhere. Make it a constant hammering inside; let your whole body and mind know that you are making an effort to be alert.

Consciousness, meditation, awareness, love, compassion—these should be the real concerns of morality.

“To love is blissful, so go on loving.

We are all poor. We are all poor because we cannot love. This is a fact—that if you love more persons, you become capable of loving anyone. If you love only one person, in the end you will not be capable of even loving that one, because your capacity to love will be so narrowed down that it will freeze.

And if you have loved, suddenly you become aware that the universe is filled with love. If you have not loved, then everywhere there is hate, jealousy.

But up to now, our emphasis has always been that you must get love. So everyone feels frustrated when he is not getting love, and no one feels frustrated when he is not giving love.

Nothing is comparable to love. Love is going to be the peak. And if you miss love but everything else is there, you will be just a vacant waste, just emptiness. Then anxiety is created.

And if a child becomes capable of seeing the positive even in the negative, then you have given him something.

Sex is horizontal. When you are totally aware, sex becomes vertical.

Either be totally ignorant or be totally aware. Totality is bliss.

The approach of Tantra is to be neither repressive nor indulgent. The Tantric experience is possible only if you move deep into meditation. When you become very still, silent, aware, alert, then only is it possible that you will know something of Tantra.

To be desireless means to be here-now, contented: whatsoever is is good; whatsoever is is the only way for things to be—there is no other way, it cannot be otherwise. It is the way life is and life is meant to be. Suddenly you are surrounded by peace.

Now two unhappy persons meet. Now two persons who are not happy with themselves meet. You are asking for miracles—miracles don’t happen.

Just one thing I would like to tell you: don’t condemn, never condemn. A condemnatory mind will never be able to understand life. Never judge. Never evaluate. Just be a simple observer.

Because once you have a judgment, then you don’t allow your mind to open itself completely to you—your judgment becomes a barrier.