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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Will Bowen
Read between
November 22 - December 25, 2017
What determines how far a stone will fly from a slingshot? The answer is: how far back you’ve pulled the band. If you study the lives of successful people, you will find that their success occurred not in spite of their life challenges but often because of them. They stopped telling everyone how much they were wronged and began to seek ways of turning the manure of their lives into fertilizer for their growth and success. Their slingshot was pulled back far, but as a result, they soared even farther.
“The measure of mental health is the disposition to find good everywhere.” —RALPH WALDO EMERSON
When something traumatic happens in our lives, we have a choice to let it defeat us or to let it complete us. It can be a fire that consumes us or a fire that refines us. It can be a tragic last act or a joyous new beginning.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. —ARISTOTLE
“Before speaking, consider whether it is an improvement upon silence.” —SWAMI KRIPALVANANDJI
You learn the simple profundity of a mother’s perennial advice: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
“spirit” comes from the Latin spiritus and means “breath.”
Spiritus—to breathe. When you find yourself around other people who are complaining and you catch yourself feeling compelled to chime in, breathe. When something frustrating happens and you have the chance to unload your frustrations on someone else, breathe. Breathe. Breathe and be silent.
“Do everything without complaining.” —PHILIPPIANS 2:14
“Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” —PROVERBS 17:28
“If I’m quiet, people assume that I’m smarter than I am.” If you simply say nothing, people may at least give you credit for being smart. When we run off at the mouth, we don’t make ourselves sound intelligent, we simply say that we’re not comfortable enough with ourselves to let quiet reign, if even for a moment.
One of the ways we know we’ve met a person who is special to us is the amount of time we can be with that person with no words being spoken. We’re simply comfortable in their presence and enjoy their company, and a lot of mindless jabbering doesn’t improve our time with them, it makes it less precious.
the words you use when complaining often will be the same as the words you use when you are not. It is your intention and your energy behind what you say that determine whether or not you are complaining.
The best barometer of whether or not you are a positive person is how you use the words “of course.”
The future is not set, and to complain about present circumstances serves only to carry undesirable conditions forward.
“He does not believe who does not live according to his belief.” —THOMAS FULLER
People make mistakes. I know I do. And companies are just large groups of people doing the best they can.
“I know mistakes happen, and I know this isn’t your fault,” I said. “I’m committed to not getting these calls from your company anymore and want to work with you until we find the reason and fix it together.”
Focus beyond the problem.
“There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?” —ROBERT KENNEDY
Complainers ask, “Why?” Complaint Free people ask, “Why not?”
Many U.S. presidents have brought together the leaders of the Middle East in an attempt to entice them to reconcile their differences. But the focus of these talks is on “differences,” and so the progress has been and continues to be minimal at best.
“You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.” —ALBERT EINSTEIN
build a collective dream of peaceful cohabitation and a mutual understanding?
“The most important thing to remember is this: to be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become.” —W. E. B. DUBOIS
INSTEAD OF CONSIDER Problem Opportunity Setback Challenge Enemy Friend Tormentor Mentor Pain Discomfort I demand I would appreciate I have to I get to Complaint Request Struggle Journey You did this I created this
Remember John Milton’s comment from Paradise Lost, “The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”
“The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.” —JOHN MILTON, PARADISE LOST
“Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.” —MARCUS TULLIUS CICERO
Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it. —THOMAS CARLYLE
“constructive criticism” is an oxymoron. To be constructive is to build up. To criticize is to tear down. You are never being constructive when you criticize someone.
“No matter the lesson, you can teach it only by instilling a sense of pride, not shame, in the pupil.” —HARVEY MACKAY
“Aren’t you angry about the bad grades?” she asked. “Why should I be angry?” I said. “They’re your grades. If you’re happy with them, then that’s all that matters.” She wasn’t happy with them, and in a very short time she brought them all up. If I had berated her for her low grades, she might have felt disempowered and angry and could have let all of her grades slip further just to show me. When I gave her the authority to decide if her grades were acceptable, she made choices that were actually beyond what I would have encouraged her to aspire to.
A leader’s job is the careful balancing of inspiration and direction.
“The employer usually gets the employees he deserves.” —J. PAUL GETTY
Sarcasm is passive-aggressive complaining.
Sarcasm is a negative comment with a humorous escape hatch. It affords the person making the remark plausible deniability should someone call that person on it.
The Latin root of sarcasm is sarco, which means ‘tearing of the flesh.’ Looking further into this, sarcasm stemmed from sarcasmos or sarkazein, which again means ripping or tearing away of the flesh. Both sarcasmos and sarkazein were forms of torture used in ancient medieval times.”
People ask, “What’s wrong with a little sarcasm? I’m just being funny.” Sarcasm is always a critical statement with a funny spin. Sarcasm is a cutting remark couched in the context of telling a joke. It’s the last refuge of a person who wants to make a point but who does not want to be held responsible for any fallout that may occur as a result.
I leaned toward our guide and said sarcastically, “Wow, nice roads.” Our translator sat silent. “Aren’t you going to translate what I said?” I asked. “I can’t,” he said. “Why not?” “Because what you said was sarcastic, and the African people do not understand sarcasm. If I tell him you said the roads are nice, he will believe you. If I tell him you don’t like the roads, it sounds critical.” “They don’t ever speak sarcastically?” I asked. “No, they don’t have a word for sarcasm. They have no understanding of saying something and meaning its opposite,” he said. “To them you say only what you
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maybe there is a peace that comes from knowing that when someone says something, he or she means it.
people in Africa consider it rude to complain to others. They think that taking your burden and placing it on another’s shoulders does not lessen your unhappiness but adds it to the listener.
The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it. —THICH NHAT HANH
“Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here.” —ROBERT G. INGERSOL
Children don’t have concepts of time, taxing responsibilities, disappointment, betrayal, or any of the other constraints or wounds that adults carry. To her, life is in the moment, and the moment is meant for happiness.
“No man is happy who does not think himself so.” —PUBLILIUS SYRUS
“With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.” —MAX EHRMANN, “DESIDERATA”
“I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.” —MARTHA WASHINGTON
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” —HELEN KELLER
“Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.” —FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY
