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August 20 - October 15, 2019
LEVEL 3 FEAR I CAN’T HANDLE IT!
AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERY ONE OF YOUR FEARS IS SIMPLY THE FEAR THAT YOU CAN’T HANDLE WHATEVER LIFE MAY BRING YOU.
IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE ANYTHING THAT CAME YOUR WAY, WHAT WOULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO FEAR? The answer is: NOTHING!
you can handle all your fears without having to control anything in the outside world.
and . . . ”you won’t be able to handle it.” What Mom is really saying, of course, is, “If something happens to you, I won’t be able to handle it.”
Considering how many “be carefuls” our parents bombarded us with, it is amazing that we even manage to walk out the front door!
does it really matter where our self-doubts come from?
WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, GIVEN ANY SITUATION, I CAN HANDLE IT!
possibly the three most important little words you’ll ever hear: I’LL HANDLE IT
TRUTH 1 THE FEAR WILL NEVER GO AWAY AS LONG AS I CONTINUE TO GROW.
you were hoping that my words of wisdom would miraculously make your fears go away. I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t work that way. On the other hand, rather than think of it as a disappointment, consider it a relief that you no longer have to work so hard on getting rid of the fear. It isn’t going to go away! Not to worry.
TRUTH 2 THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF THE FEAR OF DOING SOMETHING IS TO GO OUT AND DO IT.
Fear of particular situations dissolved when I finally confronted them. The “doing it” comes before the fear goes away.
TRUTH 3 THE ONLY WAY TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF IS TO GO OUT . . . AND DO IT.
It’s fairly predictable, however, that when you’ve finally mastered something and gotten rid of the fear, it will feel so good that you will decide that there is something else out there you want to accomplish, and—guess what! The fear begins again as you prepare to meet a new challenge.
TRUTH 4 NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO EXPERIENCE FEAR WHENEVER I’M ON UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY, BUT SO IS EVERYONE ELSE.
Once he practiced and mastered the routine, the fear would go away, and his confidence in himself would be heightened—he could put another feather in his cap, so to speak. That’s simply the way it works—for all of us.
interpreted fear as a signal to retreat rather than as a green light to move ahead. You have
TRUTH 5 PUSHING THROUGH FEAR IS LESS FRIGHTENING THAN LIVING WITH THE UNDERLYING FEAR THAT COMES FROM A FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS.
I’ve learned to “feel the fear . . . and do it anyway!” As I do, whether I feel the fear or not becomes irrelevant.
FEAR IS NOT THE PROBLEM.
move yourself from a position of pain to a position of power.
A self-assured woman who is in control of her life draws like a magnet. She is so filled with positive energy that people want to be around her. Yet it is only when she has become powerful within herself that she can become authentic and loving to those around her. The truth is that love and power go together. With power, one can really begin to open the heart. With no power, love is distorted.
I AM POWERFUL AND I AM LOVED. And: I AM POWERFUL AND I AM LOVING. An energizing variation is: I AM POWERFUL AND I LOVE IT!
learn to play with life instead of fight
am not talking about pulling the power in from any outside source. Inside of you, just waiting to emerge, is an incredible source of energy, which is more than sufficient for you to create a joyful and satisfying life.
For years you have been bombarded with the message: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN LIFE. But I am convinced that most of us do not really understand what that means.
It is very upsetting when you begin to see yourself as your own worst enemy. On the other hand, this realization is your biggest blessing.
Note that I have been careful not to ask you to believe that you are responsible for all your experiences in life (although there are some who would argue that you are). Rather, I ask you to believe that you are the cause of all your experiences of life, meaning that you are the cause of your reactions to everything that happens to you.
Until you fully understand that you, and no one else, create what goes on in your head, you will never be in control of your life.
Don’t make yourself a victim of yourself!
you have always done the best you possibly could, given the person you were at any particular time. Now that you are learning a new way of thinking, you can begin to perceive things differently
there is really only one person in the world who can make me happy, and that is ME!
when I am angry at my husband, I simply have to ask myself, “What am I not doing in my life that I could be doing that I am blaming him for not doing for me?”
As I correct what needs to be handled in my life, all my anger toward others disappears.
when you are not handling your life, no amount of caring and nurturing is enough. You become a bottomless pit. The man in your life could stand on his head for you, as some of the men in my life tried to do, but it is never enough.
look at all other areas of your life as well, to determine where you are not taking responsibility.
I suggest that you buy your books instead of borrowing them from the library.
You will want to “own” these books in every sense of the word.
No one is immune to pain, and it shouldn’t be denied when it exists. The key is to know that you can lead a productive and meaningful life no matter what the external circumstances are.
nonaggressive self-defense is Aikido in Everyday Life by Terry Dobson and Victor Miller.
In a sense, your need to please shows you what you have to work on—and that is: letting go emotionally of the role of child and stepping into the role of adult.
you to be your own best friend.
One of the biggest fears that keeps us from moving ahead with our lives is our difficulty in making decisions.
The irony, of course, is that by not choosing, we are choosing—to starve. We are choosing to deprive ourselves of what makes life a delicious feast.
A wrong decision! Just the sound of that can bring terror to our hearts.
we feel we should be perfect, and forget that we learn through our mistakes.
You can actually shift your thinking in such a way as to make a wrong decision or mistake an impossibility.
As you breathe a sigh of relief, you are already worrying that the situation might reverse itself and that it might ultimately prove to be the wrong decision.
you are already fearful about the next decision you have to make, because you will have to go through the whole agonizing process once again.
