Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway®: Dynamic techniques for turning Fear, Indecision and Anger into Power, Action and Love

by Susan Jeffers

Look at clues in your life that suggest you are off course and begin making your game pla...

Contribution in the way that I am using it means being exactly where you are, looking around, seeing what needs to be done, and doing it.

Remember the two key ingredients: 100% commitment and acting as if you count. Let’s call them the MAGIC DUO, for that’s exactly what they create in your life— magic.

LEISURE. This one stumps a lot of my students, and I admit it is an area I must work on daily. Many of us tend to be achievement-oriented and get anxious when taking time to relax and enjoy ourselves. It seems to be okay when you’re relaxing with your mate or friends, but when on your own, you feel you should be accomplishing something.

the way to release this anxiety is to call upon the Magic Duo. By committing yourself 100% to your relaxation and “acting as if” your well-being counts, you can enjoy taking some time alone for yourself.

set up the basic structure of your life, so you can then go on living in a way that supports your growth and satisfaction.

Keep asking yourself, “How whole is my life?” Continue to create such richness for yourself that nothing can ever take away your basic sense of completeness. Can you imagine how little you would then have to fear?

We anticipate the worst. It is important to remember: IN SAYING “YES” LIES THE ANTIDOTE TO OUR FEAR.

It means to relax bodily and calmly survey the situation, thereby reducing upset and anxiety.

Not only is saying yes our antidote to dealing with day-today disappointments, rejections, and missed opportunities (the flu, a leaking roof, a traffic jam, a flat tire, a lousy date, and so on), it is the miracle tool for dealing with our deepest, darkest fears.

You can’t avoid pain, but you can say yes to the pain, understanding that it is a part of life. You do not, then, feel yourself a victim.

You mean there is the pain of yes versus the pain of no.”

she saw the difference between handling the death of a loved one as a catastrophe (saying no) and keeping in mind how blessed she was to have had that person in her life (saying yes). It is seeing death as part of living—a natural process—as opposed to seeing it as a horrible deprivation and unjust phenomenon.

demonstrates the ability to feel pain when something ends but then to go on and build new hopes and dreams for oneself.

There is something enriching about leaving one beautiful experience in your life and looking forward to other beautiful experiences.

Remember: ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF PAIN IS VERY IMPORTANT; DENIAL IS DEADLY.

Pain can be incredibly destructive if kept submerged.

unacknowledged pain is subtly destroying many people’s lives.

We all know people who are out of touch with their pain—who have refused to let themselves feel their emotions. When we don’t acknowledge our pain, it will be transferred into a bodily...

Saying yes means letting in the pain full force, knowing that you will not only get to the other side of it, but also gain some...

the richer our lives, the more likely we are to experience the pain of loss.

it is likely that those who lead rich lives intuitively know the secret of saying yes to the universe.

Those who say no usually withdraw from life, choosing symbolically to hide under the covers to keep themselves from becoming victims—ironically, ending up complete victims of their own fears.

Frankl’s experience in a concentration camp—a subject I had carefully avoided. It was simply too frightening for me to look at. I

can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude

We can say no to the situation as it is, but yes to the possibility for the growth it offers.

Saying yes does not mean giving up. SAYING YES MEANS GETTING UP AND ACTING ON YOUR BELIEF THAT YOU CAN CREATE MEANING AND PURPOSE IN WHATEVER LIFE HANDS YOU.

It means channeling resources to find constructive, healthy ways to deal with adverse situations.

It is not so easy to understand how to say yes when a child is gravely ill, when you become physically disabled, when you lose your job, or when your spouse dies.

Be patient with yourself. DON’TSAYNOTO YOUR DIFFICULTY IN SAYINGYES.

remember that there is nothing you can do about it, so you might as well relax.

I’m one of those people who loves to wait. It gives me a rare opportunity to do nothing without feeling guilty!

As fearful adults, we ask the same questions we did as a child. Will they go away and not come back? Will they stop loving me? Will they take care of me? Will

People who fear can’t genuinely give. They are imbued with a deep-seated sense of scarcity in the world, as if there wasn’t enough to go around. Not enough love, not enough money, not enough praise, not enough attention—simply not enough.

world isn’t treating us right. I didn’t find my way out of this painful state of existence until my mid-thirties, when it finally dawned on me that no matter how much I had in my life, nothing would ever be enough! The more I had, the more I wanted—more love, more money, more praise—more, more, more. Obviously, something I was or wasn’t doing was keeping me from ever feeling satisfied. And, worse, it was keeping me

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It’s really a Catch-22: It’s easy to give when you feel abundantly endowed, but you only feel that way when you give, not before! So: FEEL THE FEAR . . . AND DO IT ANYWAY!

even if you perceive that someone has mistreated you, find the lesson you learned from them and put the contribution on your list.

Once you have listed all the gifts from various people in your life, systematically go about thanking them.

someone you haven’t seen or heard from in a while, surprise them with a call or a letter simply acknowledging them for what they have contributed to your life. You will be amazed at t...

Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.

Mmm maybe not

So many people don’t say thank you because they don’t realize how important their thanks may be. Remember, you count and your thanks count. Don’t let an opportunity go by to thank someone who has given you something—anything at all.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Start getting those words into your consciousness about everyone around you. Start thanking others instead of waiting for thanks to come to you.

Giving does not imply becoming a doormat. We are entitled to have our needs met. However, it doesn’t serve us to be angry if a certain someone does not fulfill them.

Time is something there never seems to be enough of, hence it is one of our most valuable commodities. It is also one of our most precious gifts. How do you give away time? You listen to a friend’s problem, you write a note of thanks, you get involved in something bigger than yourself and become a participating member, you volunteer, you read a book to a child.

many opportunities to observe volunteers. There were generally two categories: those who knew they counted and those who didn’t. And what a difference there was between them!

Those who knew they counted were a different breed entirely. They were there, silent but sure.

The difference between the way we operate in this world when we know we count and when we don’t know we count is staggering.

Ask yourself, “If I really counted, what would I be doing in this situation? How would I be acting?” It really works.

knowing that you count, or “acting as if” you do, give away your time. What an incredible gift!

“Security is not having money; it’s knowing you can do without it.” The fact that many of us have never been without money might be the problem. Here is another instance when a lack might have provided a very valuable lesson.