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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Steve Peters
Read between
June 14 - November 5, 2018
ask the question ‘How’. These questions are planning questions and tend to be constructive.
Talking through your stress with those who are able to listen and understand (and maybe offer advice) is a very powerful way of finding out what is stressing you and sharing it.
Remind yourself you are in charge of your own feelings and direction.
If you allow yourself to hold on to ‘worthless stones’ you may end up giving your freedom away. If you continue to allow stress to dominate your life because you are clinging to things that are not good for you, then you must accept that you will lose your happiness.
Malfunction means you are ill.
Dysfunction is when the machine is working fine but it is not being used properly or is not
being looked after: it needs maintenance.
Chimp, however, would rather not take any responsibility, go with the pleasure aspects, have immediate gratification and dismiss the consequences.
define exactly what you want. When you know what you are aiming for then state how you will do it.
Successful people are proactive, in other words they have a plan. They are also responsive, which means that if the plan fails for whatever reason, they respond by regrouping
Chimps tend to be reactive; therefore they give up easily and take the line of least resistance. Humans tend to be proactive; therefore they constantly plan.
Relaxing is about taking a few minutes out of your day to wind down and take a breather.
Resting is about stopping for a significant period of time during the day,
Sleep speaks for...
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Your brain will start sending the blood supply and all decision-making to your Chimp. It takes no imagination to predict what will happen.
general time period for this is between three and six months and there are very specific stages of grief reaction that you will go through.
It can help to write down feelings and thoughts
during the night your brain changes its functioning and the Human no longer gives any check to the Chimp.
If you wake during the night, any thoughts and feelings you might have are from your Chimp and they are very often disturbing, catastrophic and lacking in perspective. In the morning you are likely to regret engaging with these thoughts and feelings because you will see things differently.
Try to develop an Autopilot that says I am not prepared to take any thinking seriously during night-time hours
Look at all three levels: relaxing, resting and sleeping, and keep a diary for one week to check on how much time you are allowing for each on a daily basis.
here. If you always wish to measure success in life by what level you attain, then you must accept the emotional consequences when you do not reach this level.
If you measure success in life by effort and doing your best, then it is always in your hands to succeed and to be proud of yourself.
the Chimp and Human may differ considerably in what they define as success.
success does not have to be black and white.
Partial successes are often reality checks on what you can realistically achieve.
This first moon is about recognising who is in charge in the different areas of your life and then acting accordingly.
Effective leaders listen to and respect the opinion of others.
Who is in charge in any given situation
What the rules are
Whether you are going to live ...
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obvious situations where you are in charge and therefore you are the Monarch.
When you enter somebody else’s home, you have entered their territory and therefore their Realm,
Allowing someone to enter your Realm, who then starts taking over, will upset the Human and agitate the Chimp.
As a Monarch, you need to make sure that you have set the rules,
enforcing the rules means doing so in a regal way via your Human
‘regal rules’ are the behaviours and attitudes that you have decided to abide by as a Monarch.
expert advisors will now offer advice (NOT commands) to the Monarch.
One of the factors that differentiate successful people from unsuccessful people is the ability to recognise when they need help and then get it from the best source.
Successful people take full responsibility for whatever they do and look to improve next time.
be responsible and accountable for your choices.
It is no use blaming others if they are taking over your world or are acting in a way that you do not accept because you were not assertive enough to make these things clear.
Make sure it’s your Human who is doing the talking
Having subjects also means looking after them and respecting them
recognise that somebody else is in charge and has the final decision then it is wise to find out what their rules are and to abide by them.
consider what it is you want from each relationship that you have.
consider what the other person wants from their relationship with you.
Personal relationships have no prescribed boundaries.
Professional relationships have prescribed boundaries
our Chimps, and at times our Humans, forget the boundaries and start looking to the other person to fulfil our more personal needs.
