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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
David Deida
Read between
January 17 - January 25, 2018
Live completely. Know your deepest purpose. Give the gift you were born to give. Enjoy sex as a cosmic portal into love’s wonders. Serve your friends so they may grow. And, through the inevitable cycles of breathtaking success and gut wrenching despair, when you have mastered and outgrown the challenges of women, work, and sexual desire, be willing to forget you were ever born.
Stop waiting. Feel everything. Love achingly. Give impeccably. Let go.
fearlessly giving his gifts,
Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles.
If you want real passion, you need a ravisher and a ravishee; otherwise, you just have two buddies who decide to rub genitals in bed.
The masculine wants to feel the bliss of a life lived at the edge, and if he doesn’t have the balls to do it himself, he’ll watch it on TV, in sporting events and cop shows.
when you deny your true core you deny the possibility of true and real love. Love is openness, through and through.
if you are, for instance, a heterosexual man with a true masculine sexual essence, then you will be more or less constantly sexually attracted to feminine women you see all day, at the workplace and on the street. To married women as well as teenage girls. As long as they shine the feminine light, you will feel the pull. How do you turn this potential sexual problem into a spiritual gift?
consider men and women to be social, economic, and political equals.
The message of this chapter- men and women are social economic and political equals but have different energy and you must embrace and harness this energy to have a fulfilled sexuality. Someone wants to pound in bed and someone wants to be pounded. Don’t run from this dynamic- lean in
Limited money and family obligations have never stopped a man who really wanted to do something, although they provide excuses for a man who is not really up to the creative challenge in the first place.
The next time you notice yourself trying to fix your woman so that she will no longer _____ (fill in the blank), relax and give her love by touching her and telling her that you love her when she is this way (whatever you filled in the blank with). Embrace her, or wrestle with her, or scream and yell for the heck of it, but make no effort to bring an end to that which pisses you off. Practice love instead of trying to bring an end to the quality that bothers you.
The point of this chapter- it never ends, so do what we love now. People don’t change. Love your woman, or leave her.
The superior man practices opening during these times of automatic closure. Open the front of your body so your chest and solar plexus are not tense. Sit or stand up straight and full, opening the front of your body, softening your chest and belly, wide and free. Breathe down through your chest and solar plexus, deep into your belly. Look directly into the eyes of whomever you are with, feeling your own pain as well as feeling the other person. Only when the front of your body is relaxed and opened, your breath full and deep, and your gaze unguarded and directly connected with another person’s
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A man must love his father and yet be free of his father’s expectations and criticisms in order to be a free man.
a fearful man who still leans into his fear, living at his edge and putting his gift out from there, is more trustworthy and more inspirational than a fearful man who hangs back in the comfort zone, unwilling to even experience his fear on a day to day level.
Make your life an ongoing process of being who you are, at your deepest, most easeful levels of being.
each task is a mirage of necessity.
If a woman suggests something that changes a man’s perspective, then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective. But he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or “go along” with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action.
“My deepest wisdom is leading me to this decision. If I am wrong, I will learn from it, and my wisdom will have deepened. I’m willing to be wrong, and grow from it. I trust this process of acting from my deepest wisdom.”
Your woman will be more fulfilled with 30 minutes a day of undivided attention and ravishing love than she will with a few hours of your weak and divided presence when your heart really isn’t into it. Time you spend with your woman should be time you really want to be with her more than anything else. If you’d rather be doing something else, she’ll feel it. Both of you will be dissatisfied.
He should lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort. Constantly. In everything he does. Once you are honest with yourself about your real edge, it is best to lean just beyond
Your fear is the sharpest definition of your self. You should know it. You should feel it virtually constantly. Fear needs to become your friend, so that you are no longer uncomfortable with it. Rather, primary fear shows you that you are at your edge.
Own your fear, and lean just beyond it. In every aspect of your life. Starting now.
The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.
If you are going to tryst with women and world at all, better to go all the way and ravish them from the depths of your true core, blooming them open with the wide gifts of your unrelenting heart.
A man’s capacity to receive another man’s direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy. If he doesn’t have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father), then he will act like a woman and be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men’s criticism.
Good friends should not tolerate mediocrity in one another.
Amazing
If you merely want support from your men friends without challenge, it bespeaks an unresolved issue you may have with your father, whether he is alive or dead. The father force is the force of loving challenge and guidance. Without this masculine force in your life, your direction becomes unchecked, and you are liable to meander in the mush of your own ambiguity and indecision.
Choose men friends who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them.
The superior man is not seeking for fulfillment through work and woman, because he is already full. For him, work and intimacy are opportunities to give his gifts, and be vanished in the bliss of the giving.
A man must be prepared to give 100% to his purpose, fulfill his karma or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living. He must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life, entering a period of unknowingness and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpose to emerge. These cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for a man who is shedding layers of karma in his relaxation into truth.
The priority of the feminine, in men and women, is the flow of love in relationship. The priority of the masculine, in men and women, is the mission which leads to freedom.
For their sake, your sake, and your woman’s sake, discover your deepest purpose, commit yourself completely to its process, and find a way to embrace your family as you do so. Be with your woman and your children without compromise or ambiguity. Don’t use your family as an excuse to be less than you can be. With birth control so readily available, children are a choice. If you choose to be a householder and raise children, you are responsible for serving them with as much authentic love as possible, which you can only give if your life is aligned with your deepest purpose.
reading. If you were to die right now, what would be the feeling texture of your last moment?
many men waste their birth seeking the completion of tasks. Nose to the grindstone, day after day, year after year, and you become a robot of duty. Rather, raise your eyes, see to the horizon, and do your tasks in the spirit of sweeping out your house on a sunny day.
Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier A woman often seems to test her man’s capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable. Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his woman’s testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her
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Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration.
your woman doesn’t want you to need mommy. In fact, it sickens her.
A woman will always test her man for the pleasure of feeling his strength in loving, his capacity to transcend nuisance, his persistence in his own truth, and his capacity to share that truth in love with her, even when she is complaining— especially when she is complaining.
The basic rule is this: Don’t believe the literal content of what your woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when she says it. And even then, know that she is probably talking about her current feelings, not necessarily about the subject of whatever she is talking about.
Men grow by challenge.
The feminine side thrives on support and praise.
When speaking to your woman, it is always better to call the glass half full than half empty.
you must learn to praise the very qualities you feel are not yet praiseworthy in order for them to become so.
Tolerating Her Leads to Resenting Her
90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her your love—the same love that is motivating your questioning—immediately and unmistakably.
It is a very rare occasion when your analysis of her mood relieves her of it. Most often, your analysis and attempts to fix her will just piss her off more.
One of the deepest feminine desires in intimacy is precisely not to have to always figure it out for her man and guide him. She wants to be able to trust him in his direction.
One of the deepest feminine desires in intimacy (though not in business or simple friendship) is to be able to relax and surrender, knowing that her man is taking care of everything. Then, she can simply enjoy without having to plan it all herself and tell her man what to do.
Women do not become free by analyzing themselves. They become free by surrendering into love. Not your love. Their love.
Basically, most men are afraid of, or disgusted by, feminine emotions. That’s why you try to fix them or escape from them.
