The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire

by David Deida

Choose a Woman Who Is Your Complementary Opposite

You have probably met a woman who seemed fantastic, only to discover she has some emotional weirdness that you don’t really want to deal with.

Although you may love these women and enjoy spending time with them, they don’t arouse your passion as much as the women whose words you wouldn’t trust to remain true for an afternoon, but who move their body in a way that drives you wild.

Thank God for such women, who make no apologies for their oceanic depth and riptides of emotion.

You are always attracted to your sexual reciprocal.

The secret is not to try to change your woman’s irritating feminine ways, but to help cultivate the depth and rejuvenative power of her feminine blessings.

Realize these are aspects of the same energy that turns you on. In fact, you can learn to be turned on by her dance of anger as much as by her slinky purr. This capacity is one of your gifts to her. You can learn to stand free and strong no matter what emotion she displays. You won’t leave, turn away, or dissociate in disgust.

You will only be happy in intimacy if you choose a woman who is your sexual reciprocal as a partner.

It takes time to develop such skill and strength, but in doing so you learn to provide your woman, as well as the world, with a man whose gifts are uncompromised by fear of feminine power and chaos.

The more you seek a woman who gives you everything, the less you get of anything.

although, if you are like most men, you’ve certainly entertained the notion of multiple wives, or at least a mistress or two, each fulfilling a different purpose.

utilitarian. By constantly talking about finances, work, household, and children, you turn your woman into a neutral companion.

Domesticity replaces mystery, and talk replaces tumble.

You are the only one who can decide what is important to you in your relationship.

Your woman has the capacity to awaken your heart and fill your body with life. You, however, must give her the opportunity—as well as the fullness of your masculine transmission of love.

If you want your woman to be your spiritual and sexual consort, not just your housemate, you must skillfully maintain your household and livelihoods so that the potency of your union is not diminished.

You Will Often Want More Than One Woman

Any man with a masculine sexual essence will desire sexual variety. Even if he loves his intimate partner and is completely committed to her, he will naturally want sexual occasions with other women besides his chosen intimate partner. How a man deals with his desire for other women is up to him. He should know, however, that there is no way to avoid such desires.

should also know that acting on such desires, though temporarily enlivening and exhilarating, often ends up complicating his life far m...

Even if you are totally committed to your intimate partner in love, you probably think about having sex with other women. Even if you are totally fulfilled by the sex you share with your woman, you probably still desire sex with other women. Your desire for other women is not a reflection of any lack ...

To live a life of impeccable integrity, you must discriminate the source of your desire, so you know when to discipline your behavior for everyone’s benefit, including yours.

The fact is you probably want to have sex with other women besides your intimate partner; how you respond to this fact is a reflection of your purpose in life.

If your purpose is to liberate yourself and others into love and freedom, then you should do whatever magnifies the love and freedom in your life and in the lives of those whom your actions affect.

Just remember that self-discipline is not self-suppression.

Self-discipline is when your highest desires rule your lesser desires, not through resistance, but through loving action grounded in understanding and compassion.

There is something unique about being with a young woman, and all men with masculine sexual essences feel it.

As a man, it is your responsibility to honor the heart-rejuvenative gift of a young woman, without violating this honor by imposing your sexual desire on her.

A major part of mastering sexuality is learning to sustain greater and greater degrees of pleasure and desire in the body, without needing to rid yourself of the force because you can’t handle it.

Most men have a good intuitive sense of the difference between a woman who is cool and

soothing and a woman who is hot and exciting, regardless of how they describe it.

What you should do about it is this: understand what is happening.

What is means is that you need to find a way to balance your life.

If a man wants a woman who doesn’t want him, he cannot win. His neediness will undermine any possible relationship, and his woman will never be able to trust him. A man must determine whether a woman really wants him but is playing hard to get, or whether she really doesn’t want him. If she doesn’t want him, he should immediately cease pursuing her and deal with his pain by himself.

You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be a in a relationship with you.

What She Wants Is Not What She Says

Sometimes a woman will make a request of her man in plain English, not to get him to do something, but to see if he is so weak that he will do it. In other words, she is testing his capacity to do what is right, not what she is asking for.

He must remember that her trust is engendered not by him fulfilling her requests, but by him magnifying love, consciousness, and success in their lives, in spite of her requests.

That would have been much more erotic to her, more polarizing, and more trust-producing than his obedience to her request to ejaculate.

She would rather try to distract you from your truth, and then feel that she cannot—that you hold fast to your truth while you continue to love her.

This is the view of a man who does not understand that women are an incarnation of the divine feminine. And the divine feminine settles for nothing less than the divine masculine.

consciousness. A superior man practices maintaining full consciousness in all situations.

Especially when your woman says she wants you to.

Underneath your woman’s superficial request is her actual desire and need: she wants your passionate fullness to pervade her, she wants to be able to trust the unshakability of your loving, she wants to feel

in her bones that your divine masculine presence is stronger than your distractibility.

Your woman is a form of the goddess, taunting you, testing you, seducing you, ready to chop your head off with her wrath if you are weak and ambiguous in your truth, and ready to surrender to the force of your loving if...

even if it seems to mean disappointing your woman.

And if she is disappointed by your deepest truth, you shouldn’t be with her.

Her complaint should be valued as a reminder to “get it together,” and perhaps as an indication as to how.

And it reveals a common mistake men make with their women.

The thing your woman is complaining about is rarely the thing she is complaining about. It is a mistake to believe the content of what she is saying, and then respond to her complaints, point by point.