The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire

by David Deida

it is often more a reflection of a transient feeling-wave than a well considered stance with respect to events and experience. On the other hand, the masculine means what it says. A man’s word is his honor. The feminine says what it feels. A woman’s word is her true expression in the moment.

When you listen to your woman, listen to her as you would the ocean, or the wind in the leaves. The sounds you hear from her are sounds of the motion of her feeling-energy.

She is not talking about her desire to go to the movies. She is talking about the feeling of your relationship in the present moment.

But, for the feminine, truth is a thin concept compared to the thickness of her flow of feelings.

establish love in the intimacy first.

Don’t believe the literal content of what your woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when she says it.

men. This is why a man must ultimately be responsible for making his own decisions, based on the deepest truth he can fathom. Otherwise, if

he bends his course of truth to compromise for his woman’s current and changing expressions, he will probably end up blaming her.

You should hear what your woman has to say and feel her depth carefully. Then, after you have fully considered her input, make your best possible decision from your own deep core. This way, if your woman subsequently change...

The masculine grows by challenge, but the feminine grows by praise. A man must be unabashed and expressed in his appreciation for his woman. Praise her freely.

Men grow by challenge.

When speaking to your woman, it is always better to call the glass half full than half empty.

Praise works. Information doesn’t. Praise

motivates. Challenge doesn’t.

One of the largest gifts you can give your woman is your capacity to open her heart when it is closed. Sure, she can get herself out of her dark mood, but your masculine thunderbolt of love can brighten her darkness in a way she can’t do for herself.

The feminine part of your woman is either opening in loving surrender (easy moments) or closing in what ends up being an emotional test of your capacity to open her (difficult moments). This cycle of the feminine is like all cycles in nature: it never ends.

The sooner you learn to embrace and dance with these moods of closure, the sooner both of you will grow beyond the psychodrama and see the humor of the play.

Both of you will grow more by your giving than by your tolerating.

Occasionally, talking with her helps, but not as often as humor and physically expressed love.

Don’t Analyze Your Woman

Assume that she wants love from you, in a deep, strong, steady, and sensitive way.

Most men have made their women into swimming pools by continually

treating them like men, talking with them about their feelings as if they can be analyzed to the point of “fixing” them.

Don’t waste your time doing this, but especially don’t expect your woma...

the feminine’s priority is the flow of love in relationship. But the masculine priority is purpose and direction.

Women do not become free by analyzing themselves. They become free by surrendering into love. Not your love. Their love.

helping her to surrender, to trust the force of love, so that she can open her heart, be the love that she is, and give this love which naturally overflows from her happiness.

unguarded. Let her love be expressed with no limits. Let her go mad with love.

Love your woman with your whole body, perhaps pressing her against the wall with your belly and chest, pressing your love into her, breathing with her so that she relaxes her tension and surrenders to the love in her heart, and let her relaxation and surrender liberate the wisdom inherent in her loving. You have much to gain from the depths of her feminine gifts.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman’s emotional storms.

And you do so by standing your ground and loving so strongly that only love prevails.

You’re going to get stamped on by the steer, you’re going to get swamped by the ocean, and you’re going to get hurt by your woman. This is how you learn. You get up, dust yourself off, swim to shore, and turn and face your woman again.

Or, you can take the moment as a challenge to your ability to conquer the world, and your woman, with love.

Do whatever it takes to crack the shell of her closure, get your love inside that crack, and touch her heart. Learn to enjoy her anger, her tears, her silent hardness. The world will give you the same at times.

Don’t Force the Feminine to Make Decisions

She will cease surrendering in love with him, cease trusting his masculine capacity, and, instead, become her own man.

Wouldn’t you like your woman to be a goddess and offer you her feminine gifts? To evoke them,

you must offer her your masculine gifts. One of your most valuable gifts is the ability to see all the options and make a decision based on this view of all the potential outcomes.

Feminine decisions are based on what feels right, and often this is the best way to make a decision. However, the point in intimacy is not simply to make the best decision, but to make the best decision while maintaining the force of masculine/feminine polarity that attracted you together to begin with. If that polarity begins to diminish, conflicts will begin to increase. Whe...

Eve on the most trivial decisions, never say, “Do whatever you want.” If she asks you which shoes you think look better on her, make a decision, and tell her. Don’t just say, “They’re both nice.” Say something like, “I’d like the red shoes, but what’s the most important to me is that you’re happy.” She is of course free to wear whatever she wants, but she is also the recipient of your masculine gift of decisiveness.

She’ll be in the masculine, you’ll be neutral, and there will be nobody in the feminine pole This is fine for short periods of time, but if it becomes chronic, then the two of you will begin to feel like friends rather than lovers.

If you refuse to offer your masculine gift by saying things like, “I don’t really care. It’s up to you,” then she will have to learn to depend on her own masculine capacity. Another way to say this is that she will begin to trust her own masculine more than yours.

Then, you will find that she trusts you less and less across the board. She will refuse to surrender to you even sexually, because she hasn’t been able to relax and trust you all day; you haven’t offered her your masculine clarity and perspective, so she has to be her own man and give it to herself.

while letting her know that you love her regardless of the decision she makes. Often her feminine feelings will be a much better basis for a decision than your masculine analysis. So, encourage her to feel into the situation and trust her feelings. But, for the sake of polarity and happiness in intimacy, always tell her what you would do and why, even if you think she should make her own decision.

Seeing an especially radiant woman can fill your whole day with delight. A woman’s exquisite scent can transport you to an enchanted paradise. A woman’s smile can melt the moment into sheer beatitude.

Masculine men are attracted to feminine women. Feminine men are attracted to masculine women. Balanced men are attracted to balanced women.

Feminine energy gets you out of

your head and into your body. Music, beer, nature, women, they are all forms of feminine energy.

This attraction is not only natural, but healthy.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s why there are men and women.