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“You’re…” she whispered, studying me with wary eyes. “You?” “No.” Resisting the urge to bow my head in shame, I held my ground and forced myself to keep eye contact. “But I’m…trying.”
“Joe.” Her fingers tightened around mine. “Joe.” “Just have to get through one hour at a time, right?”
You’ve got a little family waiting on you to get better. You can get better, Joe, but you need to want it, lad. You need to fight.”
“Because she is Lucifer with tits,” Gibsie confirmed grimly. “The living, breathing devil in carnage.” “It’s incarnate, Gibs, not in carnage.”
“Get off him, you dirty little scumbag,” Bella screamed, and then she did the unspeakable; she put her hands on my man. Oh hell to the no.
“Who the hell are you?” Bella demanded, casting a menacing glare in my direction. Oh, you poor, sweet summer child. “Oh, I’m your worst nightmare, bitch,”
“You like terrorizing little girls? Try someone your own size.” Losing my ever-loving shit right there and then, I straddled her chest. “Think you can call my boyfriend a scumbag? Think you can bully his sister, huh? Think you’re safe because you’re a girl and he can’t hit you back?” Narrowly avoiding a nail to the eye, I reared my fist back and socked her in the nose. “Well, I can!”
“You think nails are going to do it?” I reared my fist back and hit her again. “Rule number one, you boundary-absent, morally lacking, conniving bitch: If you put hands on another girl’s fella, make damn sure you know how to throw a punch!”
“She called you a scumbag,” I choked out, struggling to rein in my fury now that it had finally been unleashed. “I’m not having it, Joe.”
“When they give you the all clear, because they will give you the all clear, Molloy, I want you to go home and stay there. Don’t come looking for me, and don’t go fighting my battles, baby. I can do the fighting for the both of us.”
“All I need you to do is look after yourself and my kid.”
“You need to look after that baby.” “And who’s going to look after Joey?”
“Why did you hit the Ryan boy?” I shrugged. “He had it coming.” “Try again.” I met his unyielding stare, before blowing out a breath and mumbling, “You clearly already know why.” “Indulge me.” “Because if I didn’t, your son would have, and he has a hell of a lot more to lose than I have,” I came right out and told him. “Is that indulging enough for ya?”
“You protected my son’s future, and now I’m here to protect yours,” he finally said, folding his arms across his chest. “Sounds like a fair trade if you ask me.”
“We want to keep you!” his wife blurted out, causing John to drop his head in his hands and groan. “All five of you,” she continued, hurrying over to the island and catching ahold of my hand. “Especially you.” She smiled down at me. “I think I want you the most.”
“Tact, sweetheart,” John groaned, biting down on his fist. “Where’s the tact we talked about?” “I forgot,” she argued before turning her attention back to me. “That didn’t come out right, Joey love.”
“We’re offering all of you a home,” John replied. “Sean, Ollie, Tadhg, Shannon, and you, Joey.”
“You don’t want me in your family. Trust me. But Shannon and the boys?”
“They deserve a better life than the one they’ve been dealt.” Swallowing roughly, I forced myself to say, “They deserve to have parents.”
“From what I can tell, they’ve always had one,” John said, giving me a meaningful look. “You’ve been one hell of a father, Joey Lynch.”
“If you even think about putting your hands on my siblings, it won’t matter how much money you have, or what fancy law degrees line the walls of your office. I will come for you, and Jesus Christ himself won’t be able to save you.”
“When did what happen?” “When did you lose yourself?” “The day I was born.”
“Joey love, you deserve a good life, too,” she pushed. “Everything I want for your Shannon and your brothers, I want for you as well.”
“It’s too late for me.” “It’s never too late, Joey.”
“You’ve been traveling down a very long road, love. Maybe it’s time to rest those feet and let someone else carry the load for you?” She implored me with her eyes to listen. “Let me help you. Let me save you, Joey.”
Would the baby growing in Molloy’s stomach turn around some day and resent me for not being man enough to walk away and give him the chance of a decent life? Would I have a son who hated me as much as I hated my old man? Would he resent his mother like I resented mine? Would he fall into the same pattern of addiction that I had? Was I forever destined to repeat the cycle, and then produce more sons to carry on the fucked-up gene?
“You know, I sat in that cell for hours, thinking how did this happen to me. How did I end up the way I am. All fucked up in the head. But then I called you.” My voice cracked and I forced myself to point at her. “I called you to come help me and you didn’t pick up. And then I knew.” Sniffling, I threw my hands up, feeling helpless and alone. “I said to myself, That’s why. That’s how I turned out like this.” Narrowing my eyes at the woman who gave me life, I spat out, “Because you broke me!”
“Joey, please,” she sobbed, clinging to me just the same as always. “What about me?” What about her? What about Tadhg? What about Ollie? What about Sean? What about Darren? “What about me?” I broke down and cried. “What about me, Shannon? What about me!”
And then I did the best thing I could do for her. For all of them. I walked away. “Where’s he going?” “Is he leaving us?” “Forever?” “But he can’t go!”
“You were going to leave without telling me?” Her tear-filled eyes flicked to the bag thrown over my shoulder, and devastation and fury encompassed her features. “I’m not even worth a fucking goodbye!”
“Don’t go,” she cried out, when I stepped around her and moved for the road. “Please. Please don’t go, Joey. Joey! I love you!” I love you too. More than this life. “I know,” I forced myself to shout. “And it’s not good for you to love me.” “Joey, I need you.” “No, you don’t!”
Mumbling something about needing to go home, I climbed into the driver’s seat and cranked the engine before quickly tearing away. It wasn’t a lie. I was going home. I just needed to find him first. Because that boy was my home.
“I’m not worth saving.” “Do you have any idea how fucking selfish that sounds?” she demanded. “When you mean so much to so many people!”
“They love you so fucking much it’s palpable. And your girlfriend? Aoife? Holy shit, lad, I have never seen someone look so in love with another human being in my life.”
“You’re a piece of shit for thinking about doing this,” she argued. “But as a whole, you’re a good fucking human, dammit, and I’m not going to stand back and watch another person I know erase themselves from this world because of another asshole’s actions. Because that’s what this is about, right?” she demanded. “Your father?”
“So, what’s it going to be, Joey Lynch? Are we dying tonight, or are we living?”
I love you so fucking much I don’t even know how to put it into words. But I just… I need to set you free.
Tell them I was sorry. Tell them I loved them. Tell my son that I loved him. Tell yourself that I loved you most. I’ll be seeing ya, Molloy. xx
“You have them?” Dizziness engulfed me as I tried to comprehend what the fuck he was saying. He had them? My kids? He had them? “You got them out?”
“Promise me you’ll keep her safe from me.” “Who, Joey love?” “Molloy.”
“But I have a feeling that the best thing for Joey is sitting in this kitchen.”
“I’ll show you something not good for you if you don’t shut up,” a little old lady ordered from her perch on an armchair by the fire. “The cheek of ya, laying down the law in this kind woman’s house.”
“You should take her to him and watch her work her magic,” Nanny said then, turning to Edel. “Return my grandson’s heart to him, and he’ll start living again.”
“You can’t hide from me,” I cleared the lump in my throat and declared. I felt bad for ignoring Shannon, but in that moment her brother was my number one priority. “And you can’t give up, either.”
“Come back to me.” With trembling hands, I stroked his cheek and brushed his hair out of his eyes, before leaning in close to nuzzle him. “Because I’m not giving you up.”
“I see you, Joey Lynch,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to his cracked and peeling lips. “You can’t hide from me.”
“I know you’re hurting, and I know you’re tired, baby,” I whispered, holding him as close to me as I physically could in this moment. “But I promise, if you just hold on a little while longer, it’ll get better.” I kissed him again. “You’re going to make it, Joe. I swear it.” “Okay, Molloy.” Another tear trickled down his cheek. “Whatever you say.”
“I didn’t want to leave you,” he admitted and then a heart-wrenching sob tore from his chest. “I only wanted to protect you.” “That’s my job, remember?” I joked through my tears. “I’m the one saving 6.”
“You are so important to so many people.”
“Any other advice, Aoife, love?” she asked with a weary sigh. “Yeah, don’t give up on him,” I told her, forcing my lip to stop wobbling as I spun around to face her. “I know he’s difficult and can be a right pain in the hole at times, but you need to not quit on him, Edel. No matter what. If you quit one time, one single time, then that’s
