Redeeming 6 (Boys of Tommen, #4)

by Chloe Walsh

“Obviously, you’re a beautiful-looking girl.” I snorted and waved a hand in front of myself. “Obviously.” “And modest,” Mam jibed before continuing, “But you’re so much more than a pretty face. You are warm, Aoife. That poor boy never stood a chance with you, did he? Not when everything he’s never been given flows from you like a waterfall.”

“No, I’m drama, remember?” I joked, feeling embarrassed. “You’re that, too,” she agreed with a smirk. “But my god, does warmth shine out from beneath that mischievous exterior of yours. It’s infectious.”

“You care about her,” Podge stated, watching me carefully. “More than anything or anyone you have ever allowed yourself to care about. I’ve seen it—the shift in you, and so has Alec. The change. The hopefulness she brings out in you. Hell, the whole fucking world can see how good that girl is for you, man. But you’re so determined to self-destruct that you’re not looking at what you’re doing to her.”

“If you don’t care about yourself, and it’s pretty clear that you don’t, then you need to think about what your actions are doing to her. Because guess what, fucker? Aoife Molloy loves you. Do you hear me, you lucky son of a bitch? Hands down the best-looking girl in our school—possibly in the whole town—with the best, top-quality banter loves you.”

“You know, I’m not sure I like where this conversation is heading,” I warned. “Because if this is the part where you tell me that you’re attracted to my girlfriend, I’m going to be really fucking pissed, and if you tell me that you’re attracted to me, then I’m going to be really fucking traumatized.”

“Good looks aside, you’re a fucking train wreck to deal with,” he argued. “And I should know. I’ve spent the last fourteen years watching you derail, but I’ve stuck around for the same reason she has. Because she sees the same thing I do: a good fucking person underneath all of the bullshit. But you’re blurring those lines, Joe. You crossed a line today and you need to make it right,” he said, holding a finger up. “I love you like a brother, I always have, but one of these days you’re going to slip so far off the tracks that none of us will be able to reach you.”

“Why don’t you talk to me, Joe?” she asked then, tone laced with sadness. “I’m always confiding in you, but you never do the same.” Because I can’t. Because you’d crumble. Because I need to protect you. “You know me, kid,” I replied, climbing off her bed and moving for the window. I turned back and offered her a smile. “I’m bulletproof.”

Repressing a shudder, I quickly continued. “Jesus, I can’t believe these words are coming out of my mouth, but foreplay helps a lot.” “Foreplay?” “Yeah, Shan.” “What kind of foreplay?” “Well, not hugging, that’s for fucking sure.”

Slapping my hands on my knees, I stood up and paced the floor. “You should stick to the hugging. Hugging is perfect. Hugging is plenty close enough until you’re twenty.”

not my girlfriend’s, okay?” “You really love her, don’t you?” “It’s not just about love. It’s about respect.” “And compatibility.” “And friendship.” “And loyalty.” “Exactly.” “Wow,” Shannon murmured.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, snatching my hand up in his. “I’m never leaving you, Molloy.” “See, I know you believe that,” I replied, my tone thick with emotion. “But every time you snort a line or pop a pill, you’re playing Russian roulette with your life and my heart.”

Rolling my eyes, I turned my attention back to Molloy’s textbook lying open on our desk, the one I’d been using since the start of the year, and frowned when my gaze settled on one lone earphone. The cord attached to it led back to the MP3 player balancing on Molloy’s lap under the desk, while the other earphone dangled from her right ear. Picking it up, I discreetly popped it in my left ear, and listened as Puddle of Mudd’s “She Hates Me” drifted into my ear. Lovely. What a sweet way to serenade your boyfriend. Fuck. My. Life.

“I’m here and I’m going nowhere.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” He nodded slowly, eyes locked on mine. “I won’t run.” “You swear?” “I swear,” Joey replied, tone laced with sincerity. “I won’t leave you alone in this.” “Then that’s all you need to say,” I sobbed, nuzzling his cheek with mine. “Because that’s all I need to know.”

“I’m scared to be in my own head, Molloy,” I croaked out, feeling a shiver rack through my body. “I’m fucking terrified of my inability to control my own actions, and what’s worse is knowing that, at any point, I could end up going too far and driving you away. I could push away the one person, the only fucking person who has ever given a shit about me.” I exhaled a ragged breath, feeling torn and exposed to this girl. “I don’t want to go back to how it was—to how I was. I know what’s at stake. I see you. I fucking see you standing right here in front of me, and my heart is screaming at me to cop the hell on and get my shit together. And I want to. I want to so fucking bad, but it’s like this…”

“It’s like I have this whole other person in my head, a whole other voice, even though I know it’s me. It’s my voice, but it’s a destructive fucking voice that rears its head every time I’m stressed.” “Which is constantly,” she filled in knowingly.

“The worse shit gets in my life, the louder the voice gets, louder and louder and louder, until it’s literally screaming in my head, and I can’t focus on anything other than doing the one thing that I know that will quieten it down.”

“I believe in you.” The words hurt to hear and I flinched. “Molloy.” “I. Believe. In. You,”

“I’m not expecting perfection from you, Joe. Hell, I don’t want it, because I’m definitely not perfect. So, all I need you to do is be honest, be faithful, and keep trying.”

“Do you plan on fucking around behind my back with other girls?”

“No, Molloy,” I grumbled. “I value my dick.” “Nuh-uh.” She slapped my chest. “Wrong answer.” “How about I don’t plan on fucking around on you because it takes up all of my time and energy just trying to navigate your many sparkling personalities.” “Try again, asshole.” “Fine. I don’t plan on fucking around on you because I don’t want anyone else. Because I don’t see anyone else.” “And?” I stared at her. “And?” “And,” she pushed, giving me an expectant look. Blowing out a frustrated breath, I relented and said, “And because there’s no other girl on the planet as sexy—or as vain—as you.” “Perfect.” Nodding her approval,

“You’re worth believing in, Joe. You are so incredibly worth it all.”

“We’ve known each other since we were twelve. So, when he says that he’ll be there for me, I believe him and all of you should too. Because his word is good.” Surprised by my words, my boyfriend turned to look at me, green eyes burning with unspoken emotion. It was almost like it hurt him to hear someone speak kindly of him. It was foreign to him, and it broke my heart. “He’s the best person I know,” I added, keeping my eyes locked on his as I spoke. “And I trust him with my life.”

“I’ve loved your daughter for six years,” Joey finally broke his silence by saying. “I can easily love her for another eighteen.”

“And you’ve got a lot of fucking nerve to sit across this table from me offering up fatherly advice and accusing me of not being able to raise a child.” “Joey, son—” “No, Tony, let me finish, because this needs to be said,” Joey argued, holding a hand up to my father, while focusing on Teddy Lynch. “You might have fathered six kids, but you sure as shit didn’t raise them.” “Joey,” Marie choked out, looking anxious. “Please don’t go there.” “And you sure as shit didn’t mother us,” he snapped, tone laced with accusation as he glared at his mother. “Darren raised me and Shannon. Not you, and not him. Darren raised us—until your husband literally drove him out of the fucking country. And then, all of the raising was left to me. So, don’t fucking sit there and pretend that I’m incapable of being a good father to my kid when that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for yours since I was twelve!” I didn’t open my mouth to stop him because these assholes deserved to hear his pain. They deserved to hear the truth.

“I’m done talking to you,” Joey told her in a shaky tone. “I’m done with you.” He turned back to my father and said, “This isn’t me walking away from my responsibilities. This is me walking away from a murder charge.”

Should you even be using that stuff?” He stopped his rant-induced pacing to swipe up my bottle of nail polish and eye it warily. “Doesn’t this shit have chemicals that might be bad for my baby?” “It will be bad for you if you don’t back up from my top coat,” I grumbled, reaching up to swipe the bottle back. “Don’t get all anal on me, Joe.”

“Now.” Smiling sweetly up at him, I leaned back on my elbows and wiggled my toes. “Blow.” Joey looked at me like I had grown an extra head. “You are fucking crazy if you think I’m blowing on your toes.” “Come on, Joe,” I whined, toes still wiggling. “I’m pregnant.” “So?” he shot back, looking personally insulted. “I don’t want the polish to smudge.” “Then don’t smudge it.” “Blow.” “No.” “Blow on my toes.” “Absolutely fucking not.” “Joey Lynch.” “Aoife Molloy.” “You said you’d be there for me.” “As your boyfriend and the father of your baby,” he spluttered, throwing his hands up. “Not as your personal fucking groomer.”

“Don’t ever lose it, Molloy.” “Lose what?” “That spark of fire that makes you so incredibly you,”

doesn’t matter how your body changes, because I’m always going to keep coming back to you. Because I might enjoy touching all of this,” he explained, fingers trailing over my body until he reached my face and gently tapped my temple. “But I’m hooked on this.”

have no idea how all of this is going to pan out,” he admitted truthfully. “But whatever way it goes, I’ve got your back.” “And I’ve got yours.”

“What have you done, Mam?” “What’s right, Aoife,” my mother replied. “I’ve done what’s right.”

“Daddy, no, don’t hurt him!” Ollie’s voice infiltrated my ears. “I’m…f-f-fine,” I tried to tell them, nostrils flaring, as I forced myself to breathe through the pain. “Go t-to b-bed.”

Her hands stilled on my back. “I don’t want this life for you.” “Yeah, and I don’t want this life for you.” Mam sighed wearily. “Joey.” “I’m going to stand by her, Mam. She’s my girlfriend, and believe it or not, I happen to love her a lot.” Repressing a shudder when her fingers probed a particularly tender part of my back, I bit out, “I’ll stand by her, and I’ll do a hell of a lot better job than he did with you.”

“And what about what you want, Joey?” “I want her to be okay.” “That’s not an answer.”

“Hey, Sexy Legs, I slapped the shit out of your brother just now,” Alec declared, sinking down on the table in front of us. “Hope ya don’t mind.” My eyes widened. “You did?” “Of course.” He winked. “Lynchy’s on his last warning, so he couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t have Brains doing my favorite girl dirty like that.” “Where is he now?” “Who? Brains?” Alec shrugged. “On the phone to your mammy, I suspect.” “Aw, Al…” I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face, thrilled that little shit got put in his place. “Thanks, buddy.”

“The best thing I ever did was get away from you.” “No, that was the best thing you ever did for me,” he sneered. “It was the worst thing you ever did for yourself, because now all you’ll ever be is the mother of that junkie scumbag’s little bastard.” “Say it again.” The breath left my body in a dizzy rush when a familiar menacing voice filled my ears. My shoulders sagged and I honestly felt like I was about to collapse from the surge of relief that rocketed through my body. “Say it again, asshole,” Joey repeated, coming up to stand behind me.

“How are you feeling?” “I’m fine.” “Yeah?” He slipped his hand under the desk and squeezed my thigh. “Well, you look good, baby.” How he could be so good to me, so considerate and caring of my feelings, when he was going through hell was beyond me.

bad enough that you’re both late to my class, but you have the nerve to have a full-blown conversation,” Mr. Dineen barked, glowering at us. “Joseph, would you care to tell the class what you two are whispering about? In your native tongue, if you will, since I have spent the past six years attempting to teach you the language.”

“Ceart go leor, a mhúinteoir,” my boyfriend replied with a nonchalant shrug as he replied in As Gaeilge. “Bhí mé ag rá le mo leannán go bhfuil grá agam di.” My heart slammed wildly in my chest as I mentally translated his words. Fair enough, teacher. I was telling my sweetheart that I love her. “Dúirt mé léi freisin go bhfuil cuma álainn uirthi,” Joey continued to say, not missing a beat. I also told her that she looks beautiful. Shrugging, he added, “Agus go bhfuil mo chroí istigh inti.” And that my heart is inside her.

“Can I keep one of these?” he asked, holding up the long strip of sonogram images. “Of course,” I replied, my heart bucking wildly in my chest as I watched him carefully tear one off the strip and place it in his wallet. “It’s your baby, Joe.” “Yeah.” Nodding to himself, he placed the sonogram in the picture slot in his wallet and smiled. “He is.”

“We’ll do it again,” I repeated, catching her chin with my hand and forcing her to look at me. “Yeah?” she whispered, tone hopeful. “Yeah,” I confirmed gruffly. “And you’ll be just as reckless.” Leaning in, I brushed a kiss to her lips. “And I’ll be slightly less high.”

having your baby, but she’s still my baby,” he snapped. “She will always be my baby. I would die for her. I would kill for her. I know you’re a good lad, but I’m telling you now, man to man, if you ever consider laying so much as a finger on my daughter or that child—” “You wouldn’t have to kill me, Tony,” I cut him off and said. “I’d do it myself.”

“I want you to know something,” I managed to say, fighting back the tears that were trying to fill my eyes. “I want you to know that I hate you right now more than I have ever hated him. I want you to know that you are no longer my mother—not that I ever had one of those to begin with.” “Please…”

“From this day on, I won’t be there to protect you from him, just like you weren’t there to protect us.”

He knew that the only way to keep me down was to kill me. Because I would never back down from him. As long as there was air in my lungs, I would continue to stand my ground. I would always fight back.

don’t listen to him,” I urged, feeling her wilt at my side. He was getting into her head, just like he intended, and it was crippling me. He might not be able to hurt me, but when he hurt her, it fucking shredded me.

“You are nothing without me, bitch. The only way you’re leaving me is in a box. I’ll kill ya before I let you leave me. Do ya hear me? I’ll burn this fucking house to the ground with you and your cunts in it before I let ya go!”

“You’re a fucking ghost in this house. You’re wallpaper, Mam. A mouse. You are not good for us.”

“Keep your fucking hands off my mother,” I heard myself roar, reacting on a lifetime of instinct as I shoved him away from my mother’s broken body and moved straight for her. “Mam.”

“We’ll figure something out, okay? We’ll sort this, but we can’t stay here. I’ll take care of you .”