The Throne of Broken Gods (Gods & Monsters, #2)

by Amber V. Nicole

“Choose death?” I nearly shouted. “She will die if she fights him. Die, Roccurem.” “Perhaps.” Icy fury swept through me, sharper than steel. “Let me out of here, Roccurem.” “I cannot.” “If she dies, I will shred you to atoms.” “I am aware.” He glanced up as if listening to another world. “There is a mortal saying. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back⁠—” “I do not have time for riddles or technicalities. Release me.”

His tone caught my attention. There was a strange flicker of emotion buried in his voice. Not just worry, but something deeper. It was a topic no one addressed because Cameron was nowhere near admitting his true feelings. So I dismissed it for now and propped Xavier up.

“I love her, Samkiel,” Logan snapped, his hands raising in frustration. “You know that. She is my entire world, and I refuse to let her stay a second longer with that psychopath. I’ve bedded women. I’ve fought in battle after battle, standing at Unir’s and your side for centuries, and none of it was worth it. She is. So yes, I have been sneaking out. I’ve been looking for her.”

“I forbade it, yet you did it anyway. Defying a direct order from your king is treason. Punishable by death.” He moved into my peripheral vision and folded his arms. “You plan to kill me?” Silence fell between us. “No.” I sighed. “You’re the closest thing I have to a brother.” I glanced at him. “Unir’s famous guard and my friend long before my second. I only wish for you to be safe.”

I let her in during the worst part of my existence, and now she is in my bones. My every thought, every dream, is of her, and I can’t eat or sleep. I haven’t even been inside of her, Logan, not really, not like Cameron or Vincent suspects, but she’s burned into my soul, my very being. And I hate it. I hate that it’s not simple anymore. I hate feeling so strongly for someone who does not feel the same. Every time a door opens, or I hear heels on the floor, I look for her, and I hate that, too. I hate that I think every dark-haired woman I see is her. She made me smile, made me laugh, and I hate it. I hate that she made me feel alive and whole for once. Dianna saw me for who I am, not a ruler or king. She made me feel normal, and then she left me. Abandoned me like it meant nothing.”

“My father was right about one thing, though. It’s too much of a burden to carry alone. I tried to save our world, and I failed. I tried to stop her, and I failed. If Dianna dies, I quit. I’m tired, Logan. Let someone else rule. Let Vincent or the council have it. I’m done. It is not as if I was a good king, to begin with.”

I knew following her in there with no plan of escape was a bad idea, but this was the closest I had gotten to Nev, and I wouldn’t waste it. “Samkiel, forgive me,” I whispered and slipped inside, the portal sealing behind me.

“You’re a pain in my ass. I should have killed you the second you showed up,” I hissed and moved closer to the edge of the embankment. “Would have saved me a lot of time.” But I hadn’t, and I knew why. I like Logan and Neverra. They’re my friends. Gabby’s words were always in my head, acting as my moral compass.

“Rule number one of this short-term partnership. We don’t mention his name or even talk about him.” I gave him my most intimidating stare. He smirked knowingly, utterly unaffected by my death glare. “Why? Does his name bother you? You said you don’t care about him. Seems weird that it would be an issue if that is true.” My eyes narrowed into slits, and I shoved Logan into the river. I watched with satisfaction as he hit the water and went under, but I sighed when I could still see the blue glow beneath the current. When he surfaced, he looked up at me and flipped me off. For the first time in months, I smiled.

“I am telling you the truth, Dianna. It doesn’t matter the distance or time. It’s inevitable, even if it takes a thousand years or more.” “Please.” I rolled my eyes so hard I was afraid they’d get stuck. “Don’t tell me you think Samkiel’s my mate.” Logan shrugged. “I don’t. We all know his amata died, but you two are something.”

Lightning flashed in the room, illuminating us both. She slipped her small hand out and extended her pinky. “Only if you pinky promise to keep me safe,” she said. I linked mine with hers and slipped into bed next to her. “Pinky promise.”

I circled and passed. The sound that left me surpassed my mortality, past my grief and pain. It was a hollow, beckoning, wretched challenge that shook the world. A war cry.

“You’re a fool, just like the old gods, to think you could outsmart us. You will die just like them, just like her. Alone. You have no family any longer, no friends. No one to help you.” He twisted the blade so hard I saw stars, and this time, I reached for it. “I wouldn’t say that.” A feminine voice spoke.

“You are arrogant, like your World Ender, Dianna.” His lipless mouth turned up in a wide, serpentine grin. “And you will die like him, too.” I raised my blade between us, every bit of defiance that burned in my soul reflected in my voice. “You first.” The room erupted, and he charged at us.

Dianna stood at the very center of the gore with her arms outstretched, feeding power into the flames consuming the corpse. When nothing but ashes and embers remained, Dianna tipped her head back, her chest heaving like a warrior savoring the aftermath of a long battle. I saw it then. Saw why Samkiel loved her so damned much, even if he refused to say the words. He risked his crown, his throne, and the damned world for her because Dianna was a queen worthy of any king.

Neverra nodded. “Whatever you decide, we are with you. We will stay and fight, and we will lose together, or we can try to find a way out before it’s too late. But regardless, we will do it together.” Her face tightened. “You’d stay?” “Yes,” I said without hesitation. Neverra nodded. Dianna looked at us in disbelief. “Even after everything?” “Friends don’t abandon friends,” Neverra said, a small smile softening her face. “And you definitely need new ones.”

“Samkiel, forgive me.” A voice whispered in the wind with a message only I heard. I was on my feet the next instant. Logan.

Neither looked at me, their eyes wide and transfixed, locked on the portal. I looked up, feeling her before I saw her. Dianna. I dropped my sword and rushed forward, catching her falling form. Her body jerked at the landing, her hair spilling across her shocked face. She was filthy, covered in bruises and cuts, some still open and bleeding. The scent of her blood made me feral. She was battered, dirty, and pale, so pale. “You caught me?” It was a whispered question as if she couldn’t believe it. “Always.”

I expected him to start immediately questioning her, gathering information. I thought he might ask how she was at most, but I never expected what he did next. Samkiel studied her face, and then he hugged her tightly, his massive arms swallowing her small frame. Neverra laughed, caught off guard, but the sound turned into soft sobs. She leaned into him, accepting the safety and comfort he offered. We all stood frozen, everyone in the room shocked. Samkiel, although he risked his life for us, was never affectionate. He didn’t say the words ‘I love you’ to anyone. He hadn’t truly hugged anyone since his mom died. Yet, here he was, holding Neverra like he’d lost a part of himself when she’d disappeared, and I suppose, in a way, he had.

“You caught me.” The words she’s spoken to me after falling through that portal whispered through my head. She had returned to me, and I had caught her. Ethan had warned me back in that over-cumbersome mansion not to make her fall if I had no intention of catching her, and as I watched her sleeping form, I realized somewhere along the way that catching her and keeping her safe was my only intention.

Tame. Is that what Dianna had done to me? It seemed such a small word for what I felt. She hadn’t tamed me. She’d healed me without even realizing it.

I looked at him. “No, and they don’t need to know either.” “Even if it is a premonition of your inevitable demise?” “Even then. If it is to happen, I need them ready.” My eyes returned to her, always to her. “All of them.”

As soon as the air settled from Roccurem’s departure, I leaned forward, resting my forehead against hers. “Please wake up. I don’t care if you hate me, are angry, or yell and scream. You can wish death upon me, but I need you to wake up. I need you here with me.”

“That sounds stupid,” I scoffed. “I don’t even know where to take us.” “Yes, you do.” Neverra met my gaze. “Think of the one place you would feel safe. Where we all would be safe.” Logan nodded, and I got the impression they were having a secret conversation. “Think of home.”

“But you just made it home.” “Well, you know what they say. Home is where the heart is, and you kindly ripped mine out.” “Such poetry. I miss that.”

I had fallen, and Samkiel caught me. I’d wanted to take us somewhere safe, and the portal had led me straight to him. Truly, though, where else did I have to go?

I would be lying if I said it wasn’t pleasant for the brief moment I remembered it. Samkiel’s embrace was so warm, so comforting. I had been cold, lonely, and lost for so long. The last thought I had before unconsciousness claimed me was how at peace I felt, and that truly terrified me.

“You know, at first, I assumed you stole Roccurem for your own pleasure. You’d never touch Camilla after what she did, so logic dictated it was him. I’ll admit that I was jealous. I am man enough to tell you how much that burned a hole in my gut to see you so casually replace me, but then I learned it wasn’t for that. No. You just couldn’t stand being alone with your thoughts. I get that. I am the same way. But I have learned, Dianna, that no one can pull you out of this until you are ready. Until then, we are nothing but crutches, and that is not what you need to heal.”

“Yes, from yourself.” He shook his head at me, his arms wide and his expression unforgiving. “What has this gotten you? The revenge, the death, what has it done? It hasn’t brought her back. We both know that nothing will.” My hand whipped out to slap him, but he caught my wrist. “I hate you.” He stepped closer and leaned in until his nose was an inch from mine. “I. Don’t. Care.”

His thumb slid over my wrist before he gently released me. “I would have followed you anywhere, Dianna. All you had to do was ask. Instead, you used me. You used every single bit of knowledge you had on me to hurt me, my family, and my friends. You threw things I confided to you back at me without a moment’s thought. I have been stabbed, tortured, and nearly decapitated. All in service to my home and kingdom. But nothing has hurt me as you have. Nothing.”

“You’re right that I don’t get to dictate how you heal, but gods, Dianna, you could’ve used me. I would have let you, and you know it. Anything you desired, whenever you wanted, any way you wished. All you have to do is ask.”

“You weren’t planning to come back to me at all, were you?” I heard the pain in his voice, and a part of me ached, but I knew it had been the only choice. He deserved so much better. “No.” He nodded and turned away.

“You would have been happy,” I said to his retreating back. “If you would have just let me go and kept your warriors out of my way. This would have been over, and you could have made this damned castle for your rightful queen.” Samkiel glanced at me over his shoulder, a small glow of silver dancing behind his storm-filled eyes. “You’re a fool if you think I would be happy in a world where you did not exist.”

“I told you love has power, but I never said it was good.” I glanced at him. He didn’t move even as his form began to fade. “A warning, god king. Be careful with your displays of affection for her. The council will see it as a threat.” “A threat?” “They do not see her as you always have, but then, few do. She invokes fear in most. It will be a problem, I am afraid.” “They won’t touch her. No one will.” It was a vow, and I meant every word. “It is not her I fear for, Your Majesty,” he said and faded from the room, leaving me in quiet contemplation once more.

“So, I haven’t lost my powers?” “No, but they are severely suppressed. So much so that even when you are angry, your hands don’t even flicker.” I glanced at my hands, opening and closing them, missing the familiar rush of power and warmth. I felt hollow and empty, but maybe this was better. “Maybe you’re wrong,” I said, wiping sweat from my face. “I’m not.” I glared at him. “You don’t know everything.” “Why bury your powers so deeply?” I glanced toward him as if one of the reasons wasn’t staring me in my face. “I didn’t mean to.” “It’s okay.” He took a step closer, the rocks beneath his feet crunching. “We’ll figure it out.” My heart lurched as he held out his hand, his pinky extended. I looked at it, remembering what it meant, what had transpired between us, and shoved past him. “I’m ready to go.”

I stood and walked out the door, telling myself I was just enjoying the day, not searching the sky. “They need you. I don’t.” That was the last thing I’d said to him. My traitorous heart twisted. What a lie.

“We get it.” Cameron squeezed my shoulder. “You want to remind us who and what you are, but we never forgot, Didi.” My brow lifted. “Didi?” Cameron nodded and poured another shot, passing it to Xavier. “Yeah, that’s your new nickname. Everyone gets one. Welcome to the family.” Family.

A wicked smile crossed my face. “No, I don’t want Cameron. I mostly wanted to see if that vein still pops up on your forehead. It does, by the way.” His eyes narrowed. “You’re not funny.” “I think I’m hilarious. Now calm down before you destroy my pretty castle. And besides, even the dead could see Cameron is in love with Xavier.”

“How dare I? How dare you! You are not innocent in this. Do not pretend that my feelings were ever one-sided. You were there with me every step of the way through Onuna and every godsdamn place you dragged me. What about me? You may be replaceable to Kaden and his ilk, but you are not to me.”

“You’re the one who is angry.” He stared at me, looking too hard, too deep, too long. My heart, the jaded and cracked thing it was, fluttered with hope. A part of me already knew he saw the reality of me, but it was finally sinking in that his feelings were unwavering and true. “It was not anger that I felt. It was fear.” “Fear?” “Yes, fear because when I learned of where you were and what was happening, I realized there is no limit to what I am willing to do for you.

“Your smile, Dianna, is only one of the most beautiful things about you.” Beautiful. It was such a stupid word and one I had heard plenty of times before. Yet he said it, and I damn near melted. I cleared my throat, but my voice still sounded husky. “Do you always flirt with homicidal killers?” His smile was bright, making him impossibly more gorgeous, and a part of me ached. “Only the really pretty ones.”

“You’re wrong.” His voice was like cold, hard steel. “She was not the only one. But you are also right that I do want something from you. I want you to be happy, healthy, and alive. I want the best for you because gods know you deserve it after every fucking thing you’ve been through. One day I want you to smile again, really smile. I want to help you heal as you helped me.”

“No one comes here. It’s yours if you wish it.” “A whole beach?” I shook my head. “You’d give me a whole beach?” “The world, if you wish.”

“Gabby was gone. I wanted Kaden dead, and I didn’t care. I had hoped if I fought him, even if I won, he would take me with him. It never occurred to me that anyone would notice I was gone.” Pain and anger flashed in his eyes, and he swam toward me. I didn’t back away or avoid his gaze, even as my eyes burned. He stopped in front of me, brushing his thumb against the curve of my cheek. “I would have,” he whispered. “I would have.”

His lips curved in a soft smile as he tipped his head toward me. “To be loved by the great Dianna would be a gift beyond imagining. Anyone to receive your love and be claimed by you would be lucky.”

“Why do you wish for me to dislike you so much?” “I just don’t understand why you still care. Why do you still like me after everything I’ve done? Why do you still want me? It just doesn’t make sense, Samkiel.” He caught my gaze and held it. His eyes were soft and warm, and I swore he was staring into my soul. “I’d be a liar if I said I did not still have feelings for the woman who ripped her heart out to save me, her sister, and the world. The one who will risk everything for someone she cares about without ever thinking of herself. The one who likes loud music and overly sweetened treats and shares everything with me. The woman who ties promises to her small finger. The one who pretends she hates happy movies because she doesn’t think she can ever have her own happy ending. The woman who wields and breathes fire on a whim and loves flowers even when she tries to deny it. I have seen the best of you, Dianna, and now I have seen the worst. I am not leaving. You do not scare me.”

I didn’t know what to do or how to act. He deserved so much more, so much better than me. Yet he looked at me as if he would rip the world to pieces for me, and I knew I would do so much worse for him.

Neither of us said anything, watching the sun disappear beyond the sea, but something shifted between us. A piece that had been missing fell back into place. It was something cosmic, and I thought I heard fate whisper to me. Samkiel said he couldn’t fix a broken heart, but how could I tell him he already was?

I closed my eyes, a mischievous smile playing on my lips. Maybe it was the day, how comfortable I felt, or the fact that I could finally relax, but I couldn’t resist teasing him. “I promise not to wake you up with my mouth in the morning. You obviously need your beauty sleep.” The muffled laugh he let out was downright devious. “I assure you if you're ever feeling generous, you always have my permission.”

“Can you promise to come back? It’s just better when you are here. Even if we are fighting.” It was silent for a moment, and I was afraid he’d fallen asleep. Then I heard his hand slide across the bed and felt his finger wrap around mine. “Pinky promise.”