The Throne of Broken Gods (Gods & Monsters, #2)

by Amber V. Nicole

“He told me about Kaden and who he really is.” Cool dread crawled over me, replacing the warmth of my desire. “What?” He turned toward me and picked up the soap, rubbing it over his abdomen. “You won’t believe it.” “Who is he?” “One of my father’s ex-generals.”

“You are both equal parts your mother and father. Strong and resilient like him. Kind and compassionate like her. You’re a protector, a guardian, and,” I reached up and wrapped my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down to me as I went to my tiptoes, “my best friend.”

Samkiel reached between us and pulled my hand away from his cock. He pressed my palm to the center of his chest. “You’re always with me.” I rolled my eyes and groaned. “You’re so mean to me.” He laughed. “Call it a lesson in humility,” I said, but I kept my hand on his chest, feeling that slow rhythmic beat within my soul. I gave him a wry smile and said with all honesty, “I can’t give you pretty words. I don’t know how anymore.”

“Do you wish for me to beg? I’ll beg.” Samkiel panted. My hand stroked him idly, continuing my torture. “Kings don’t beg.” His hips thrust helplessly. “I will for you.”

I grabbed his hand, placing it between my breast over my heart. “Yours,” I breathed, rolling my hips, my heart racing beneath his palm. “Mine,” he agreed, and it sounded like a vow. The look on his face took my breath away, and I knew I would never forget it. I would remember it until I was dust between the stars.

Cameron said. “All I’m saying is, what if Kaden is a secret child of Unir?”

“The next words from your mouth need to be an apology,” Samkiel growled, menace dripping from each word. Vincent didn’t back down, holding Samkiel’s gaze defiantly. “Or what? Listen, I get it. It was fun when we were all younger, but we aren’t anymore. She’s Kaden’s blood, no matter what you feel or how often you fuck her. Do you think pretty words will stop her the next time she gets volatile? She’s a ticking time bomb. I’m just the only one not blind to it. You’re our king, our protector, and you’re going to get us all killed. What happened on Rashearim is going to happen again, and all because of her.”

“This is more than just Kaden, isn’t it? More than Dianna?” His head whipped toward me. “What? No.” He was a terrible liar, especially to me. “Tell me what’s really wrong.” Vincent’s smile was small and forced. His hand cupped the back of my head as he leaned forward, placing a kiss atop my head. “Have fun at the dinner,” he whispered into my hair, and then he was gone, his boots echoing down the hall.

“I hope it gets better. For both of us.” Samkiel swayed with me in his arms. “It will. Trust me. This is not something you just recover from in months or even years, but I will be here with you every step of the way, whatever you need, just like you have been for me. You led me out of my darkness, Dianna. Now let me lead you, or I can follow you into the dark, but there is no me without you. Not anymore. Do you understand?”

Vincent went to join them, but I reached out, grabbing his arm and stopping him. I leaned in close and hissed, “You throw his father in his face again or hurt him again, and I won’t need my powers to rip your tongue from your skull.”

“Samkiel called this dinner, but we have news, too. Logan and I want to try for a baby.” Cameron damned near choked. “Wait, are you pregnant now?” “No,” Logan said with a small, nervous smile that was absolutely charming. “Key word, we are going to try. I still have to get the procedure reversed.” Imogen’s smile was so bright it was contagious. “That’s amazing, Nev! I get to be an aunt.” Xavier laughed. “Oh, your child will be so spoiled.”

“I want a life for you all without the threat of war and distress. I do not believe in my heart that you all were made to fight forever, nor should you. You should have peace and love. You all deserve it. That’s all I ever wanted for any of you, and you can have that once this is done. A life. A semi-normal one, at least.”

“Does that upset you?” I shook my head. “No, for the first time in a long time, I know who I am. I like me. It’s everyone else I’m worried about. I reacted so quickly earlier, and I know if anyone ever hurt him, family or not, I would rip them to pieces and sleep like a baby afterward. So,” I tipped my wineglass in a toast, “I feel a multitude of things.” Reggie’s smile, the first real one I’d seen from him, shined a fraction brighter as he tipped his head. “I would expect no less from you.” “Does that make me a monster?” Reggie shook his head. “No, that makes you a protector.”

“Gabby and I had little for a very long time after my parents died. I had her, and I loved her very much. Then I lost her. I am very protective of the things I care about, and losing her didn’t help my overprotective instincts. If I had my powers, I would have ripped Vincent’s tongue from his head for how he spoke to Samkiel and not thought twice about it. Samkiel is kind, sweet, and very caring. He is good and doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. Not by me, not by family, not by anyone.” Xavier didn’t even flinch, his eyes tracking Cameron. He held the plate out toward me. “I understand.” I picked up the fork and cut the rich cake, taking a bite. “Sunshine,” he said. I nodded as we watched the two people we knew we couldn’t live without. “Sunshine.”

She smiled softly, her eyes filled with understanding. “While we were there, I got this done, too. I gave Immy one, and I have one. This one is for you if you want it,” she said hesitantly, digging through her bag again and pulling out a picture frame. It was the picture she’d taken the night she and Imogen had stayed over. I took the frame, my heart clenching. “Now you have two more sisters,” Neverra said. I hugged her, and she giggled, surprised.

His eyes turned molten as he pulled back. He cupped my face, his thumb caressing my cheek, the slow, tender motion more searing than any kiss or intimate touch. When Samkiel looked at me, it was as if he saw into my very soul and cared for every single part—the good, the bad, the ugly, and the cruel.

“I’m sorry I left,” I said. His thumb stilled against my cheek. “I promise to stay if things get bad. I won’t leave you ever again.” Samkiel studied my face, relief filling his eyes as if he’d been waiting for me to say it for a while now. It was a comfort that I hadn’t known he needed, but I would make sure he didn’t doubt my commitment in the future. He raised his hand between us, extending his small finger. “Pinky promise? A dark-haired beauty told me long ago that it is practically the law in her world.” I grinned and grasped his finger with mine. “Pinky promise.” He yanked me forward, our hands pressed between us as he sealed the vow with a kiss.

I waited for Xavier to take my bait, to proclaim they may all leave, but we would stay the same. My chest had felt tight from the moment we’d arrived. I smelled the tension long before I stepped into the palace, and I knew I wouldn’t like it, and I didn’t. I had never imagined that we would not be together forever. It seemed I was wrong that we would stick through everything.

Xavier took his hand out of his pocket, and I froze. He had been shifty all night, even sitting away from me at dinner, and now I knew why. He pulled out a ring and put it on his finger. My heart stopped. Regardless of if I wanted it to or not, it did. He rubbed a finger over the simple gold band. “He asked me to marry him. Proposed, as the mortals say, a few weeks ago.” “Weeks?” “I was unsure at first and didn’t immediately say yes, but… Don’t look at me like that. I haven’t told anyone. I wanted to tonight, but after Logan and Neverra’s big announcement, followed by Samkiel’s, I didn’t think it was the right time, and honestly, I just wanted to tell you first.” He fiddled with the gold band. “I tell you everything.” I couldn’t speak or move, unable to tear my gaze from that ring. It mocked me.

I couldn’t stop the words coming from my mouth. “That’s what this is? You say yes because of a tryst?” The pain disappeared, replaced by anger, and then his face went cold, all emotion locked away. “A tryst? Like all the ones you’ve had for centuries? It’s always another girl, another guy, another being.” It was the first time Xavier had ever snapped at me. The first time since we had met, become friends, or whatever we were. “You do this now? After everything, you want to confess something now?” “Xavi—” “Don’t call me that. This is bullshit. You’ve been fucking Elianna and kept it from me when you tell me everything.” “Oh, come on, that means nothing.” “It meant something if you hid it. You knew my feelings and did nothing, or actually, you did everything but what you should have.”

He dropped his hand from his face, and that’s when I saw the shine of tears in his dark eyes. “You knew I was waiting for you. I waited for you to even notice me like that, and when you didn’t make a move, I respected your decision and what you could give me. I accepted you didn’t want me. Now I’m with someone who wants to be with me. He isn’t afraid to tell me he loves me or that he wants a future with me. He fights for me.” It felt like he’d slapped me.

“Are you marrying him because you’re in love with him, or are you settling?” “Oh, fuck off, Cameron.” “Are you in love with him?” I shouted, emotion out, ruling me harder than any storm Samkiel could conjure. My heart broke when he didn’t answer. He stared at me. Please, my heart begged, it cried, it screamed. Please don’t be in love with him. Please. “It doesn’t matter.” He dropped his gaze from mine. “It’s too late. I am happy, and I am going to marry him. You had every opportunity over the centuries we’ve known each other, and I will not break someone’s heart because you finally decided to speak up. It’s not fair.”

Maybe he was right. I’d waited too long, my own insecurities eating away at me. What if it wasn’t real for us? What if I messed it up like I had so many other things in my life? What if we weren’t even amata, and I just kept him from the one he truly needed? Athos, like every other god and goddess, had said love made you weak and caused you to lose focus. What if they were right?

“Did you know? You said turning her would prevent that. Killing her fraudulent sister was to prevent that. Do you have any fucking idea⁠—” “The mark is not on her finger. You overreact like a child would.” His eyes popped open, all six of them. “I have seen a multitude of possibilities, their bonding being the least likely. The time shall still pass.”

I growled, fangs erupting from my gums. “If The Order cannot⁠—” “The Order will have what they wished for,” Roccurem interjected. “What you all wished for. The death of Samkiel.”

They were as tall as Kaden, one just as muscular, the other a slender female shape but no less foreboding. Even with their features concealed in darkness, I felt the power radiating from them and knew without a doubt that whatever Kaden was, they were too. These were the three crowned figures from my last dream. “The last guardian is dead. No more protectors. No more peace. The end begins.”

need you,” I whispered, looking at him over my shoulder. And I did. I always did. It was a truth I denied for far too long. I felt his cock twitch in my hand at those three little words. “Take me,” he demanded, his control slipping. “I am only ever yours to have.”

“Promise you’ll come back to me.” I didn’t try to hide the pitch of insecurity in my voice. Not now, not after everything. He shifted, holding me a fraction tighter, his head resting on my back. “As if you could ever be rid of me.” “I’m serious.” “Dianna,” he said, trailing kisses along my spine. He brushed my hair away from my face and gently turned me over. I trembled against him. “There is no force in this world or the next strong enough to keep me from you. Do you understand?”

“I have no need for a price. I have seen, just like the fate has, what is to come. You are already about to pay a steep price, god king.”

“The fate wishes for the old prophecy, for her to love you, but the seed has already taken root in her chest, festered and nurtured by a creature made of darkness. She is quite beautiful, Samkiel.” The Higher One raised a hand and petted her face. Dianna’s face. “But she is evil.” I took a step forward. “No, she isn’t,” I growled. “To you perhaps, but the verge of madness she walks is thin, and what she is willing to do for the ones she loves has no known bounds. She would slaughter your very family if they raised a hand to you. Is that love?”

The Higher One shifts into swirling formless mist, its true form, and screams, “Tell me! You seek truths. Give me this one!” “Yes!” I yelled to the maelstrom of smoke whipping around me. The cloud shifted, returning to Dianna’s form. “Yes, I am afraid. She left so easily before. Even if I say the words, what’s stopping her from leaving me again? Or what if she does not feel the same? So yes, I am afraid. I fear not monsters or realms or anything really, but that, her rejection, she terrifies me.”

“Think, Samkiel. Why would he lie to so many he claimed to care for? Why lie in the first place? Unless what he hid was so very precious to him. Wouldn’t you want to hide that which you loved so much if the entire realm wished it dead?” My heart thudded. “Kaden was more than a general to him?” The Higher One nodded. My hands fisted. “A lover?” “No.” She smiled widely and shook her head, her dark hair spilling over her shoulders. “A son.”

Words did not come. My mind ran over a million and one scenarios before coming to a screeching halt. It all hit me at once. The portal, the power, his ability to create Dianna, heal her sister long enough to use her to control Dianna. He stayed far away from me because he knew I would sense and recognize the power so similar to mine. It was how he knew of the battle, The Hand, and about the Fall of Rashearim. Kaden was not the king I thought he was. No, it was so much worse. He was my brother.

“You are asking the wrong questions. Your next one should be about your other siblings. Siblings that still exist, maiming and destroying beyond the barriers of the realms you hold sealed.” The Higher One stepped back and raised her hand, holding up three fingers. “Unir had three children long before you, god king.”

“Unir’s power far outreached even the gods closest to him. He saw a vision of the Great War. Only he didn’t realize he would be starting it when he made his precious children. The Great War happened because of them. Unir formed a plan, a way to build weapons to destroy any threat once and for all. Long before you were ever thought of, it seems. But to create life without sharing life is forbidden. He proceeded anyway. He cared for the realms, his people, and others so much that he made a choice, and it ended up costing him everything. The universe takes its debts very seriously. You cannot gain that much without balancing the scales.”

“The others saw what Unir could do. Seeds of doubt spread about the powerful children that he made, and gods turned against gods. Unir hid his children, locking them away. All but one, and that one has lived under your nose for a very long time. In an attempt to bring peace, he sowed hatred and jealousy from those he’d created. Jealousy because true love came and bore fruit. A child so filled with light that it solidified their hate. You are that light. Your birth began the Gods War, and your death will unleash chaos itself.” The Higher One shrugged, picking at her nails. “I guess your name holds more merit now than ever. That’s kind of funny, huh?”

“I just didn’t see. I thought he meant her. This is how the world ends. But it wasn’t her. It was never her.” The Higher One looked at me curiously. “Who? Your amata?” My heart stopped. “My what?” “Your amata. You know, this beautiful being,” she said, gesturing toward the facade of Dianna she wore. “You know, I really thought The Order killed her as an infant, but here we are. Kind of funny, huh? She’s definitely your type, though.”

The Higher One grinned. “You truly didn’t know? It explains why you two have been so ravenous in your lovemaking and probably fighting. It’s that mark trying to form and seal itself, bind your souls by any means necessary. Why do you think her fire doesn’t burn you? Your lightning, your power, are they not the same? Thunder is only heat expanded. Nature always makes you in pairs, sometimes more. I mean, you are the creation to her ruination. It’s synchronicity.” The words shattered my very soul. I had one. It was Dianna. It was always Dianna. Every thought, every feeling I had for her since the day I met her, why she touched every part of me, why I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Everything fell into place as if I had found a key to a puzzle, and everything finally made sense. It was deeper than love in mortal terms. Dianna was part of my soul.

“I cannot tell you how excited I am. How excited everyone is that you are finally going to die. You see, I was merely a distraction to keep you immobile while The Order worked. Because once you’re dead, I am finally free. We all are. Your father locked a lot of us away, trying to preserve a future for every living being. All he ended up doing was creating a legion that would destroy everything he sought to protect.”

“You were always a weapon, Dianna, just not mine.” Xavier and a man who looked oddly familiar stepped from the darkened hallway. Tall, lean, and built like the celestials, but time had carved deep lines at the edges of his eyes. His hair was as dark as mine, falling well past his broad, strong shoulders and curling at the ends. I inhaled sharply, not because his eyes glowed celestial blue but because I had spotted the book he held cradled in his hands. The same book Samkiel and I had searched for, the one I’d been willing to die for. I knew with perfect clarity who he was. “Say hello to Daddy,” Kaden gloated as my blood turned to ice. Azrael.

“I love you. I do. In my own twisted way. I tried to push you away for centuries, but I can’t get you out of my head, my flesh, my soul as damaged and dark as it is. You can look at me with hate and loathing, but I love you, Dianna. I always have.” Bile hit my gut, and I cringed away from him. I shook my head, my voice barely above a whisper. “We were never in love, Kaden. You don’t treat someone you love how we treated each other. That’s not love.”

“Oh, but what you feel for him is love? You’ve known him for minutes compared to what we had.” “What Samkiel and I have is different. It’s messy and painful at times, but it’s real. He would never hurt me, no matter what I said or did. He would never hurt the people I love or use them against me. Samkiel’s kind, he’s good, and he cares. He cares about me and accepts every part of me—the good, the bad, and the ugly. He has seen it all and stayed. You broke me completely, Kaden. Every chance you got, you broke me. Samkiel healed me.” I didn’t cower beneath his angry stare. “That’s. Love.”

“You’ll forgive me. You’ll get over it. I’ll wait centuries if I have to, but you will be mine. What are a few thousand years between lovers, right?” “You are insane,” I choked out, fighting against those damn restraints. “Love,” he sighed, “it makes you crazy.”

I couldn’t save Gabby. I couldn’t save Samkiel. I couldn’t save anyone. Kaden had left, but his words remained, sinking into my skull, bones, heart, and soul. Consciousness faded, and the world went dark.

“Where. Is. She?” I snarled, the sound so primal the room shook, and the symbols encasing me vibrated. Everyone took notice. Even Kaden paused for a split second. “I can smell her all over you.” His eyes glowed a shade brighter, a look of pure disgust gracing his cold features. “What have you done with her?” I could not tell if I was yelling or not. The fear I felt was all-consuming. If he takes her, you’ll never see her again… He will drag her back in pieces if he has to… My heart stuttered, the ache in my body forgotten. If he had touched her, hurt her, killed— No! I killed the thought. Dianna was okay. She was okay. She was okay. She had to be because I could not live if she was not.

Kaden didn’t hesitate, plunging the spear into my body. I felt the blade ram through my center, but it didn’t hurt as I had imagined it would. He gripped my hair and wrenched my head back, whispering against my ear, “It’s time to open the realms, Brother, and welcome our family home.” One twist in my gut, a key fit for a lock that unleashed the entire cosmos. He ripped the spear’s blade out of my midsection and stepped back, his mouth falling open in pure awe. Thunder cracked and bellowed, threatening to fracture the sky, only it was me breaking. Suddenly, the pain hit me, some force ripping my power out of me. My head snapped back so hard it should have broken my neck. Every ounce of my power and life force burst from my mouth, nostrils, and eyes in a laser-sharp beam of light. It burrowed through the air and hit the sky, ripping the universe open.

That small green orb bounced soundlessly. The small light came to a stop against my knee, and I heard her voice whisper, “Hold on. She’s coming.”

Silver hair danced behind her in a phantom wind as she saw me and smiled. In her eyes, I saw rage so old that it had its own name. Wrath. “Hello, World Ender,” she purred, shaking fleshy material from her sword. “I have missed you.” I didn’t need perfect vision to know exactly who she was. Her voice erected nightmares filled with fear, death, and blood. Nismera.

“You know I’m not wrong. I know you. You’re the same woman who hit a boy twice her size when we were little because he stepped on my foot, the same one who stole an orange when mom said no because I cried I couldn’t have it. You are the same one who tied my sandals when I didn’t know how and the same one who gave me her shirt when mine ripped and took the blame so Mom wouldn’t be mad. This is you, every good and bad part is you, and I’m tired of you pretending to be something you are not. Regardless of how you feel, I love you for it, every single part, and so does he.”

“That’s what scares you? You think no one could love you?” The house shook, the floor buckling beneath our feet. A low-pitched growl made the hair on my arms stand up. “No one should,” I said. “Dianna.” Gabby dropped the lock, turning to me. “Tell me I’m wrong.” My voice cracked. “You’ve seen everything I’ve done. You think I deserve love? I’m not good like you and him. I never have been.” “You’re wrong, D.” Her gaze softened. “So so wrong.” “You think I am?” I scoffed, the final part of me splitting wide open. “Okay. I’ll show you just how wrong you are.” I ripped at the locks, chains, and bolts. Gabby stepped back as I tossed and threw the mass of metal to the side, leaving the cracked door bare. “Just know I’m sorry.” She looked at me. “For what?” “For what you’re about to learn.”