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Hal Johnson

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I don't think Hal Johnson is a very unusual sort of a guy. He's just — well, the average American citizen and family man, the kind that are the backbone of the nation. I admire him and like him. I like his attitude. Until, that is, he gets behind the wheel of an automobile. At that point he changes. He changes from a careful, considerate citizen — to a menace.

–"Driven to Kill," 1948 driver's safety film.
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Hal Johnson I'll admit it wasn't very good. But perhaps I have long had a weakness for reading kitschy books.

Even though I didn't have a good answer, I still have…more
I'll admit it wasn't very good. But perhaps I have long had a weakness for reading kitschy books.

Even though I didn't have a good answer, I still have to say this is the best question I've ever gotten.(less)
Hal Johnson This is a great 21st-birthday gift! I mean, it's a weird gift, but a great one.

I took an Old English class in grad school, and the prof sold us samizd…more
This is a great 21st-birthday gift! I mean, it's a weird gift, but a great one.

I took an Old English class in grad school, and the prof sold us samizdat photocopies. It's thin, so if you really want a copy, albeit a used one, send me a self-addressed manila envelope and I'll mail you my old copy. If you can't send a message through Goodreads, you can reach me on the gmail under the username immortallycanthropes.(less)
Average rating: 3.69 · 1,034 ratings · 265 reviews · 11 distinct worksSimilar authors
Moby-Dick; or The Whale: Un...

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3.64 avg rating — 433 ratings — published 2015 — 6 editions
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Immortal Lycanthropes

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3.40 avg rating — 252 ratings — published 2012 — 8 editions
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The Big Book of Monsters: T...

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4.05 avg rating — 183 ratings — published 2019 — 4 editions
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Impossible Histories: The S...

3.84 avg rating — 115 ratings — published 2023 — 2 editions
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Apprentice Academy: Sorcere...

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4.11 avg rating — 18 ratings — published 2023 — 3 editions
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New York State of Fright: H...

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3.59 avg rating — 17 ratings — published 2018 — 3 editions
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Apprentice Academy: Knights...

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2.88 avg rating — 8 ratings — published 2024 — 2 editions
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Sudden Glory

it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 4 ratings — published 2023 — 2 editions
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Blvd. of Blood

it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 1 rating — published 2025 — 2 editions
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A garland of quotations 185

Consider supporting me by buying a book

If fleas were to develop a rite, then it would refer to the dog.
•Wittgenstein, Remarks on Frazer’s Golden Bough (1931).

All things have significance for all: if birds had wisdom, they would have constructed an art for knowing the future based on observing humans, as we do by observing them.
•Synesius, On Dreams (404).

I realised that everything is, in realit

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Published on August 11, 2026 21:00
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The Carpentered Hen
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Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods by Hal Johnson
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“A shameful fact about humanity is that some people can be so ugly that no one will be friends with them. It is shameful that humans can be so cruel, and it is shameful that humans can be so ugly.”
Hal Johnson
tags: humor

“...beneath the temple of Emesa there is a system of special sewers wherein the human blood rejoins the plasma of certain animals. Through these sewers, coiling into broiling corkscrews whose circles diminish the further they descend to the depths of the earth, the blood of those sacrificed according to the needful rites will find its way back to the geological seams, the congealed cracks of chaos. This pure blood, thinned and refined by the rituals, and rendered acceptable to the god of the underworld, splashes the groaning deities of Erebus, whose breath finally purifies it.”
Antonin Artaud, Heliogabalus; or, the Crowned Anarchist

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message 2: by Hal

Hal Johnson Dan wrote: "what do you think of the hunger games so far it's very different then the movie isn't it"

I'm enjoying it so far, although I admit I haven't seen the movie. One movie it is a lot like: BATTLE ROYALE WHAT!!?!


message 1: by Dan

Dan Friedman what do you think of the hunger games so far it's very different then the movie isn't it


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