Cheryl’s Comments (group member since Jul 30, 2011)

Cheryl’s comments from the More than Just a Rating group.

Right. The Crystal book I mentioned is a rebuttal to Truss's. She's prescriptive, he's descriptive.

It does seem they're more consistent than spelling! If you're seriously interested, I recommend you see which books by David Crystal your library has and choose one. I'm reading The Fight for English: How Language Pundits Ate, Shot, and Left right now and it's witty and accessible and short.

Sentence diagramming is covered entertainingly & concisely in Sister Bernadette's Barking Dog: The Quirky History and Lost Art of Diagramming Sentences. My son, then 13, talked me into buying a copy of that book.

I think I'm getting a better handle on it.
Thank you Vicky, and Kim!!

I think of 'subject' as the one doing the action, and 'object' as the one to whom the action is done.

But that makes it really hard to break down your example sentence, because the sisters, the mother, the speaker, and the other children were all acted upon by the forces that 'forced' and 'sent' them. Vicky, can you help some more?

hm - 'no choice but to accompany her' is totally your own words, not the author's. But you're right; my sentence was a run-on and some folks would trip over it.

No, D&R, book info. not necessary. Ok, so let's break it down by simplifying. "...veil, us were sent..." does not seem right. "... veil, we were sent..." sounds much better.

I'm not a grammarian, but I'm thinking the sentence was improperly constructed and you have a good ear.

Try "...veil, my mother and we other children...." I think that works. Or, do what I do, and reconstruct to avoid awkwardness:
"My brother was clapped into prison and three of my sisters were forced to take the veil. My mother and I and the other children were sent to the Tower."

Does "my mother and us" sound right? It depends on the placement in the sentence - that is, it depends on whether it's a subject or object. Even easier, does "us" sound right in that sentence? (I could say more if I saw the whole sentence.)

And I thought I had a long TBR list! Great to have you here, Kimberly!

It's November! And if you write, you're probably busy doing that right now! To all of you who participate in www.nanowrimo.org/, may your creative juices flow freely!

I've a couple of friends who participate in that every year. They get majorly stressed out, but they still love it and keep doing it. If I were a writer I probably would, too. It's definitely motivating to wannabe authors.

Hurrah for Sarah - That's a bit ahead of schedule, no? You'll definitely make it! :)

Intriguing, Sarah - almost tempts me to start a blog so I'd qualify...

I'll tell Amy about your reactions. :)

Oh, and yes, she gave me permission to post it. If you want to follow her reviews she's in my friend list - Amy.

Great story, but still doesn't get at the gist of my frustration. I feel like I need a new recipe for the cake, or fresher ingredients for it, something.

A wonderful reviewer and goodreads friend shared this story with me:

"In my English 101 class we had a professor who told us that on the following day she was going to bring in a homemade cake for us, and we'd have some of that cake in class. Naturally, we were looking forward to this. She brought in a cake alright. Still in the box, not baked, and then she took her place at the front of the class and started lecturing. As she was doing this, she popped the lid off the container of icing, picked up the cake box and started icing it, but she just kept on lecturing.

We all thought she was nuts, but no one said anything. We looked around at each other, and we all clearly thought that her butter had slid off her biscuit, but we just weren't sure how to react. Should we ask her what she was doing? Should we leave the room before things got ugly? Should we go get another professor, or perhaps a cop? When the box was totally iced, she said, "Ok, who wants some cake?" No one responded. She said, "No one?! Why not?" One brave kid said, "Well, because it's a cardboard box. Do you realize that you just iced a *box?*" She said, "Oh, that's right, I did. And I don't want any papers from you people that are cardboard boxes with icing on top. There better be something worthwhile under that icing."

What I took from that is that substance matters. Words are just icing. If your words are truly expressing what you felt, and if they are painting a genuine, honest picture of how a book impacted you, then they are the right words. Icing can be beautiful or just common. It's the cake that matters."

That's true!

Thank you Dorothy; I agree that's important!

! :)
Yes I totally get what you're saying. OTOH, I just finished a short story collection, and I actually tested Asimov's perspective, and it Worked! I actually kinda liked some of the stories I *know* I wouldn't have if I'd gone in expecting something to actually Happen.

I think reading from the perspective of mood, illustration, etc would work better for short stories. I can't imagine a whole novel - a whole gallery of giant yellow canvases...

Ok, still thinking... a whole gallery of giant yellow canvases would certainly make an impact. Maybe your marvelous analogy doesn't extend that way... my bad....

Anyway, I'm thinking of this one novel by an author I've liked. I mean, I like her short stories and her non-fiction. But the novel may have been more like what Asimov describes. But I remember it clearly enough to know that I Don't want to try again to read it from that perspective. I'd be all "Enough Already!"

I found a lot of neat stuff about writing, and reading, and science-fiction, and the reading and writing of sf, in Isaac Asimov's Gold: The Final Science Fiction Collection. I feel especially compelled to share this:

"You can... virtually eliminate the plot. You might simply have a series of vignettes...[or] tell a story that is designed merely to create a mood or evoke an emotion or illuminate a facet of the human condition."

Those are challenging. I think some of the literary short stories I've read and didn't 'get' are probably those. I'll have to look at them from that perspective next time. Then maybe I'll be able to review them better.

(Sorry I missed this!)

You make some excellent points, Uday. I personally don't like scientists' personal stories in my science books, but lots of people do... I guess the narrative makes the book seem less like a textbook.

I will keep in mind personal preference is just opinion when I review aspects of non-fiction books, especially.