Apoorv ’s Comments (group member since Mar 26, 2014)

Apoorv ’s comments from the Nothing But Reading Challenges group.

The goal that Steven is talking about above is this:

Read a book that is in the "Books You Wish More People Knew About" Listopia List (https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/8...)

If anything catches anyone's fancy and can gobble one book up before Steven finishes, its up for grabs ! :)

So we have a book for that goal. Yaay ! :)
Let me go cross-check once.

I am guessing 'feeling in my gut' would work in place of 'gut feeling', right ?

Discussion Questions - II
Chapters 3-4

10. Nathan has decided not to let anyone know about his suspicions about Jack. Has your opinion about Jack or his possible role in Lydia’s disappearance and death changed after Nathan confronted him and/or after he overheard the exchange between Jack and the police?
Actually no. I did not suspect him even at this point but somewhere I am just not ready to eliminate him from the picture just yet. He seems to be a key piece in this puzzle, but its just too obvious for him to be the reason behind Lydia's death.

11. James begins a new kind of relationship with his research assistant, Louisa Chen. What role, if any, do you think his daughter’s death/ funeral play in his moving toward this change? Do your opinions of James (as a dad, husband, character) change as a result of their relationship?
He stepped out of this marriage ONLY after his daughter died, had that not been the case, he wouldnt have moved into Louisa's bed. IMO, and it doesnt change, he exhibits extreme weakness each time life confronts him with anything. He constantly lets others run his life purely because he wishes to fit in. He is troubled I understand, but he isnt even showing any self-reliant strength to atleast try to fix what is broken.

12. In the flashback to 1965 in chapter 4, we see some of the various pressures that Marilyn feels on her life and her decisions. Are there any areas in your own life where you feel competing pressures or expectations that influence your decisions?
Fortunately for me, so far, and this is undoubtedly thanks to my parents , I have stuck to what I have chosen in my life without having to explain the decisions or being forced upon anything my them. I make sure, that even though I have an open ear and mind to incorporate anything that comes my way, but the final decision is always mine and I bear the responsibility of it all.

13. When Jack and Nathan are at the pool, Nathan is teased by his peers. Jack remembers his own experiences with teasing. What did you think of the way that Jack handled the situation at the pool? How did Jack’s expectations for Nathan and Nathan's behavior contribute to the situation and how it went? Why doesn’t he tell Marilyn what happened?
This whole sequence infuriated me to no bounds. Its disappointing to see James's reaction to the whole scene and how he, in a display of self-absorbed weakness, never bothered to strengthen his kid's mind by sharing his own experiences and helping him understand how they shaped him, creating some kind of a bond between them. There is no communication between the child and his parent and that can never be good.

14. In the summer of 1965, Marilyn leaves her family for a period of time. What did you think of that decision and how she did it? Did it change your thoughts about her as a mother, a wife, a character?
This family is truly a classic case. Neither the mother nor the father, individually and together are fit enough to be worthy parents to their children. Marilyn hastily married, then regretted everything about it when things didnt turn out the way she wished.. and running away was her way out. I keep saying James is weak, and he is, but Marilyn even through her facade of staunchness leaks weakness.

15. Marilyn finds her mother’s old cookbook with advice about being a good housewife. What do you think they’d each say about being stay-at-home mothers? Do you think one is happier or more satisfied?
One is happy when one learns to accept the repurcussions of his/her decisions. You cannot expect things to go a certain way when you path leads you to the opposite direction. More than happy there is something called as satisfaction which matters.. her mother somewhere felt more satisfied and maybe that was one of the reasons for Marilyn's disgust towards her mothers' lifestyle.

16. Already, the novel says a lot about how people are influenced by their parents. How did your parents influence your childhood and teenage years? Do you think they understood their influence (and the limits of their influence) on you?
Parents are by far the most critical people that can influence a child's character. Fortunately (and I really consider this as my fortune), my parents were extremely liberal not only in their attitude towards me but also in thought. They changed their way of shaping me as I grew, playing along with my needs but never letting me go out-of-hand. More than anything, they made sure I was a human first before anything else.. they kept my head held high but my feet firmly stuck to the ground.

17. What do you think of the author’s use of flashbacks in this novel? Do you like this strategy? Does it work well here?
I do like them. It can go very wrong very fast but the author used to great effect and thats appreciable.

Discussion Questions
Chapters 1-2

1. Do you like the book so far? Why did you decide to read it? Is this a genre you normally read?
I did like the book from the very start, purely because it hit the right note from the first page. I had my eye on this from sometime after seeing friends and different groups reading/discussing it. This time when it was chosen as the BOM and would also work for TT4, I couldnt say no anymore. I also do tend to read books from this or similar genre, so the transition into the world Celeste Ng created was fairly smooth for me.

2. Lydia dies May 3rd, 1977 (first lines of the book so this isn't a spoiler) and Lydia's parents met in September 1957. What differences and similarities do you see in regards to race and gender relations between these two time frames in the book (or in history, if you looked it up)? What part does it play in the Lee family dynamics?
1970s, from what I hear, was the true transition era.. things were on the upswing and a lot was happening. Biracial relations/marriages were strictly frowned upon in the 1950s (were even illegal in many places, if not all), but come 1970s the attitude towards them was changing but they will still on the cusp of that transition, so the struggles for the Lee family, though not as abominable as they would have been in the 1950s were still real in the 70s. The author captures the essence earnestly and presents them beautifully. What is more interesting is that we get to read the story from the 1950s perspective, the 1970s angle and the 2015s perception.. and I cant stop thinking how different would have Lydia's life been had she been born 20 years later.

3. What do you think of Lydia's mother, Marilyn's description of her first born daughter's first steps and the line "...Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets" ? How is Lydia different than her siblings?
Its more of the mother than the baby that is concerned here. Marilyn is stuck with the failures/unadequacies of her own life.. so much so, that she is unable to focus on the progress her little baby is making. Lydia, being an overachiever in many aspects becomes her mother's sole bearer of expectations, differentiating her from her siblings solely in the eyes of the parents.

4. How does your high school experience compare with Lydia's? Why do you think Lydia doesn't have any "real" friends? What other things do you think Lydia is letting her parents believe are true to meet her parents' expectations?
High School days can truly be life-changing for any teenager. Personally for me, I did not go to High School in America and it was late 1990s when that happened, so things were different than what we chance upon here, but I completely understand (and have probably seen) teasing happening based skin color, body type, habits, sexual orientation, introvertness and so many other factors.. and kids can get evil doing this. Add a different race, or background to the mix and things just get ugly. Kids like Lydia get cornered and just end up being extremely lonely which can drive them to extremes. Parents like Lydia's make matters worse by just being too self-involved and thereby emotionally distant from their children.

5. Why do you think Lydia's siblings, Nath and Hannah, do not tell their parents about Lydia's friendship with Jack? Do you think Jack is involved in Lydia's disappearance and/or death?
Nath and Hannah never bother telling their parents about Jack, because they are assuming (and probably rightly so) that their parents would either never believe anything of this kind about Lydia and/or would not care what the siblings have to say because of their extra involvement in Lydia. They have an honest fear that their voice is not valued and nor is would be heard.

6. Who do you think Hannah saw/heard on Wednesday at 2AM?
At this point, I felt it was Jack.

7. What do you think of Lydia's body being found at a lake when Lydia could not swim?
At this point, I was contemplating foul play.

8. What do you think of the first lines of Chapter 2, "How did it begin? Like everything: with mothers and fathers... Because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible" ? Where are you on the personality spectrum of wanting to stand out versus wanting to blend in?
This line probably was one my favourite lines in the entire book. It deftly elaborates on the eternal struggle most people face in their daily lives. Personally for me, I am an introvert by nature and I can easily adjust to anything but I make it a point that I am never run-of-the-mill.

9. What do you think of Marilyn and James' courtship and marriage? What do you think happened in 1966 that made Marilyn disappear for a few days and do you think it is related to Lydia's disappearance and death?
It didnt do much for me.. I found it bland and just forced. They seemed to fit well but for me they seemed like they were never meant to be.

The Stephanie Plum series has an undertaker.. I think he first appears in the second book.

Back off, lobster-boy !!

I was tied up with work even on freaking new years.. but I should be able to spare time tomorrow to re-group, re-start reading and workout our strategy for the crossword puzzle.

Steven wrote: "Can one of the captains add Wendy's finished BOM and Sara's started BOM to the spreadsheet BOM tab? I can't from my phone."

Done Dona Done Done !

I did not know there were so many Greeks in Australia. Interesting !
Something new on New Years'

That reminds me, THE HAPPY THE NEW THE YEAR THE GUYS !
I am so glad I am ushering the new year with all of you.
Yaaaay ! :)

Shouldnt they just stick to their name and remain 'low-key' :P :P

Sonia wrote: "You forgot my dare, dear :P ..."

Do you think I have it in me to not listen to you ?
I have 3 tabs open on my personal computer each with a day worth of questions.. I just havent press post. Why ? Coz of this stupid work ! :X

Thats my lame excuse ! :P

I am going to try and race Sara on the Agatha Christie book. I cant say no to Ms. Christie and I need something simple after the emotional rollercoaster I am in as I am reading Violence Begets....

Update
!! New Goal !!

Read a book with the word girl, boy, woman or man (plurals are acceptable) in the title

Sonia, we have Tamika's The Boyfriend Mandate, would boyfriend work for boy ?

Sonia wrote: "Steven wrote: "Okay, everyone... let's all look at Coursera AFTER Tower Teams. Otherwise, we'll drop to last place as well all go scramble to work on Courses!!!"

You're not the boss of me :P:P:P"

I LOVE the friendly banter between the two of you. You are adorable ! ^_^

Steven wrote: "I had never heard of Coursera... just went and looked, and now I want to explore their courses. Thanks!!! :D ..."

Isnt it ? Bet you will find courses and topics you love and then its fun to work on them. Let me know if you try anything. :)

Sara wrote: "Coursera is amazing, Apoorv! I'm sure you'll end up reading more Classics and even liking them :D ..."

Oh, I am going to bother you for recommendations when I get in that whole Classics mode. Brace yourself !! :P

You dont just make do, T, I am pretty sure, you rock it ! :)

This Masters is in Project Management, the first one was in Biomedical Engineering.

I also intend to do a Coursera certification on English Literature sometime next year, just for the heck of it. I end up reading a lot of Contemporary books but hardly get to Classics (Sara, dont kill me !:P), so I thought that maybe if I add a curriculum to it, I may find them interesting and read more of those. This is just a thought, have to see how it works out. :)

I am starting my second Masters next month.. yaay ! So I will read textbooks again. Is it wrong that I want to read the whole damn thing in the first week itself and get us points for the challenge ? LOL !

Inspired by Mary, I guess ! :D

Only if it was Tennis, Cricket or Badminton, I would have jumped at the mention of it.

But, I dont mind taking a shot at it. I love Sports books, so let me see what Golf books I can find and get. A Tiger Woods Autobiography will be awesome ! :)