Chava’s Comments (group member since Dec 19, 2013)

Chava’s comments from the Nothing But Reading Challenges group.

Karen wrote: "Oh, Lindsay *just* posted she has a book for the snow goal.
But feel free to still read your book, I'm sure it will come in handy down the line!"

oops, missed that. That's okay. I have 956 books on my spreadsheet waiting :) I'll wait for another goal to come along that can fit a book on my list

Karen wrote: "Posting to new page

CURRENT GOALS

Read a book where the title starts with the letter V - Poongothai

Read a book with 3 U's in the title - Nicole

Read a book that is in the ""1001 Books You Mu..."

Hi,
I can take the snow goal by reading Blood on Snow after I've finished the BOM

Karen wrote: "Chava wrote: "to get the BOM points for participating in the discussion, do I need to answer the questions for each day? How do we "prove" that we are participating? Thanks"

You actually don't nee..."

okay, I'll keep updating this as we go. Here is the link https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
and my participation is shown in messages #45, #100, #102, #145

Day 3 Discussion Questions Chapters 5-6

18. Hannah has made a promise that she will find out what happened to Lydia. Do you think she feels guilty for not speaking up about what she saw the night Lydia disappeared?
yes and I think she wants to fix her parents' unhappiness and conflict.

19. In Chapter 5 when the police stop to update the Lees, James seems embarrassed when Officer Fiske mentions Lydia's lack of friends, and Marilyn just talks about Lydia's school work and intelligence. Do you think this foreshadows something, or is this just fitting in with the theme of the book? Do you think the police are looking into Lydia's parents as suspects? Does their suspicion have merit?
I don't think anyone is looking at the parents as suspects. I think the parents not knowing is a sign of them not being very in tune or connected with their children to know what their lives really are like. I think both parents for their own reasons are in total denial about Lydia's life.

20. Marilyn finds Lydia's hidden contraband. Do you think Lydia was really using these items, or were they placed there to gain attention?
I think she might have been hoping to use them, but I don't think she was there yet. I don't think it was for attention, because the police would have been able to find them if that was the case.

21. There seems to be some familial violence like Hannah being under the table when her parents are fighting and James slapping Nath when he asks about astronauts. Do you think this has always been this way, or only during stressful times like Lydia's death and Marilyn leaving? Do you think the violence plays a part in Lydia's death?
it said that the slap was a one-off, but caused a rupture between James and Nath that never got repaired. I think it was due to the stress.

22. Even Marilyn, who was studying to be a doctor thinks of a "man" when she hears the word doctor? I work in the ER as a nurse. The male nurses are still mistaken for doctors and our female doctors are mistaken for nurses. Is anyone else guilty of thinking this way?
At times, but I've mistaken both ways (males for nurses when they were doctors and vice versa). I'm proud to say that my children don't have this preconceived idea, they call everyone doctor :)

23. Marilyn finds out she's pregnant with Hannah so she gives up on her schooling again. Do you think Marilyn resents Hannah because of this? Do you think this is why Hannah seems to be ignored by the rest of the family?
Good point, not sure. I was thinking that this was an unwanted pregnancy and what the effect of that might be.

24. During the scene where Nath pushes Lydia into the lake she seems to accept death and let herself drown. What do you think of this scene? Was she unhappy back at this point in her life?
I thought that was rather strange and I wondered if Lydia just was curious about what was happening. I don't think she was depressed at this point in time though

Day 2 Discussion Questions Chapters 3-4

9. Nathan has decided not to let anyone know about his suspicions about Jack. Has your opinion about Jack or his possible role in Lydia’s disappearance and death changed after Nathan confronted him and/or after he overheard the exchange between Jack and the police?
No, I still don't think he had anything to do with Lydia's death. I still think it's a suicide, but I do think that Jack knows more

10. James begins a new kind of relationship with his research assistant, Louisa Chen. What role, if any, do you think his daughter’s death/ funeral play in his moving toward this change? Do your opinions of James (as a dad, husband, character) change as a result of their relationship?
I was very disappointed in this turn of events. I thought it was a bit standard for such a thing to happen, it didn't show much imagination by the author. In the story itself, I was disappointed that he betrayed his wife like that who clearly is also mourning.

11. In the flashback to 1965 in chapter 4, we see some of the various pressures that Marilyn feels on her life and her decisions. Are there any areas in your own life where you feel competing pressures or expectations that influence your decisions?
I'm the mother of 4 kids of 5 years and under and I can honestly say that I've thought of leaving the family for a while, but only when I'm totally overwhelmed, totally sleep deprived and usually haven't had breakfast :). However, I could never turn my back on my kids, they come first above all else.

12. When Jack and Nathan are at the pool, Nathan is teased by his peers. Jack remembers his own experiences with teasing. What did you think of the way that Jack handled the situation at the pool? How did Jack’s expectations for Nathan and Nathan's behavior contribute to the situation and how it went? Why doesn’t he tell Marilyn what happened?
James'need to be considered an average American is so great that he minimised any experience by Nath. He so badly doesn't want the same to happen to his son, that he just denies it ever happened.

13. In the summer of 1965, Marilyn leaves her family for a period of time. What did you think of that decision and how she did it? Did it change your thoughts about her as a mother, a wife, a character?
Nope, very relate-able as described in Q11

14. Marilyn finds her mother’s old cookbook with advice about being a good housewife. What do you think they’d each say about being stay-at-home mothers? Do you think one is happier or more satisfied?
yes, I think Marilyn's mother believed this to be the purpose of any woman, where Marilyn couldn't think of anything worse. I personally don't have an opinion about it, there's merit in both staying at home and working.

15. Already, the novel says a lot about how people are influenced by their parents. How did your parents influence your childhood and teenage years? Do you think they understood their influence (and the limits of their influence) on you?
Oh I can write a whole essay about this, which I did for my Masters degree in family therapy :). The short answer is yes they've influenced me

16. What do you think of the author’s use of flashbacks in this novel? Do you like this strategy? Does it work well here?
The flash backs are at times a bit annoying. I want to get to the reasons why Lydia is dead already. I'm hoping the story will progress soon, the flash backs are getting tiresome.

Karen wrote: "How was everyone's weekend? For those that celebrate Christmas, do you have your shopping done?

Mine was pretty busy as we gear up to Christmas seeing people and having some people over. The weath..."

It was Channukah celebrations for me this week and weekend (today was the last day of it). 8 nights and days of crazy fun with the kids! Late nights every night, so I've been exhausted :), but totally worth it. I think celebrations become more fun when the kids actually know what's going on and can participate.

Enjoy your shopping everyone!!

to get the BOM points for participating in the discussion, do I need to answer the questions for each day? How do we "prove" that we are participating? Thanks

btw, I'm participating in the BOM discussion

12/12-- Day 1 Discussion Questions Chapters 1-2

1. Do you like the book so far? Why did you decide to read it? Is this a genre you normally read?

I am really enjoying it. I was drawn to it because of the Chinese angle. I've been interested in Chinese immigrants' lives in Western societies, because one of my best friends in high school was Chinese and it was totally foreign to me then and still is now :) I was also intrigued about the blend of both cultures in this marriage
I usually read crime/thriller/mysteries

2. Lydia dies May 3rd, 1977 (first lines of the book so this isn't a spoiler) and Lydia's parents met in September 1957. What differences and similarities do you see in regards to race and gender relations between these two time frames in the book (or in history, if you looked it up)? What part does it play in the Lee family dynamics?

I think that the author really captures the differences in society expectations in those eras.

3. What do you think of Lydia's mother, Marilyn's description of her first born daughter's first steps and the line "...Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets" ? How is Lydia different than her siblings?

She seems to have been the favored child by her mother. Her mother really pinned all her hopes on Lydia to fulfill what she was unable to fulfill.

4. How does your high school experience compare with Lydia's? Why do you think Lydia doesn't have any "real" friends? What other things do you think Lydia is letting her parents believe are true to meet her parents' expectations?

I found it so sad that she had to make up friends on the phone. What a child will do to ensure their parents are happy. These parents have such high expectations of their children and Lydia definitely feels that heavily

4. Why do you think Lydia's siblings, Nath and Hannah, do not tell their parents about Lydia's friendship with Jack? Do you think Jack is involved in Lydia's disappearance and/or death?

I think they are protecting Jack. I don't think he has anything to do with her death. So far, I actually think she's committed suicide.

5. Who do you think Hannah saw/heard on Wednesday at 2AM?
I don't know, but I'm intrigued.

6. What do you think of Lydia's body being found at a lake when Lydia could not swim?
It made me immediately think that she'd committed suicide due to the pressures by her parents

7. What do you think of the first lines of Chapter 2, "How did it begin? Like everything: with mothers and fathers... Because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father wanted to blend in. Because those things had been impossible" ? Where are you on the personality spectrum of wanting to stand out versus wanting to blend in?
I am somewhere int he middle, but tend to always stand out. I am a rather outgoing, extrovert person :)

8. What do you think of Marilyn and James' courtship and marriage? What do you think happened in 1966 that made Marilyn disappear for a few days and do you think it is related to Lydia's disappearance and death?
I was very surprised about how straight forward Marilyn was with James and that she went for her professor as a student. It feels a bit weird, but for some reason also as rather common in the 1960s

Karen wrote: "CURRENT GOALS

Read a book where the title starts with the letter V - Poongothai

Read a book shelved (listed on the first page of the "top shelves" of the book) as africa - plurals and minor spel..."

Day 1 goal was finished yesterday

Can I read an advanced readers' copy (ARC) for challenges?

for 25 day challenge. Horrible!!

Finished red cover for 25 day challenge with On Her Father's Grave (horrible book btw)

Kazen wrote: "Lisa's The Sweetest Scoundrel has a character named Temperance, yea!

New goal: Read a book where there is a tight deadline

Hmm, interesting one! Let us know if any of your unused books fit. :)"

What the night knows has a tight deadline in it. The killer kills every 33 days. Does that count?

No current goal. Finished 10 Dec., 2015

I've finished What the Night Knows

Glad you're ok!!

Has the ghost goal been taken? The book I'm reading has one What the night knows by Dean Koontz

Karen wrote: "Could be Chava. Is it the spirit / apparition of a dead person? If so, it would be a ghost for the goal"

I think it is an apparition of a dead person, but I'm not far enough in the book to answer yet. I hope to know more on Monday night when I've listened to another hour of the audiobook :)

Karen wrote: "Thanks ladies. Looks like we still need a book with a ghost as a character then"

I am reading What the Night Knows which has a spirit as a character, does that count as ghost? The other living characters can see it, it speaks to them, but it's black and shadow-like (no white sheet or anything like that)