C.B.’s Comments (group member since May 01, 2015)

C.B.’s comments from the Support for Indie Authors group.

Jenycka wrote: "Ok I'm not going to even try out perv you. It won't work. What does the illumicocki do? Is it a secret society based on advancing the world through sexual enlightenment?"

I think you are right on both counts.

(Plus, the Illumicocki have an albino guy with a whip! That may or may not be relevant.)

Jenycka wrote: "CB is there something squicking you out about the idea of your wedding tackle getting pinched in a statue?"

Sacrifices must be made for clues. I understand that. Otherwise how will you unravel the secrets of the Illumicocki?

I would think that marble would be the way to go for your general everyday statue banging. It is just iconic.

Something else that is smooth would work though as well, maybe copper.

I would hope that any sexual mastermind that devised a sex puzzle would be kind enough to use a suitable substance for solving the puzzle. No 'Iron Throne' statue banging for example. (ouch!)

Diana wrote: "I agree, I don't like the almost fake words. I have seen in done right in some sci-fi, though. Someone wakes up in the future and is offered Kaffee, and it takes nothing like coffee, but people think it is the same thing we drank way back in the 21st century. I've also seen it used because at some point in the past the English language officially got simplified spelling (and that is explained somehow). "

Okay, I will allow that Kaffee in if it is the future, but I draw the line at Space Camels!

Jenycka wrote: "Is this is at a museum does the janitor get hazard pay for having to clean that up?"

I would assume the statue scene would be at the museum, with a big domed ceiling. :)

No the janitor doesn't get any sympathy, but he does get to say at the end of the chapter, "I am NOT cleaning that up." Which is honestly better than hazard pay.

Christina wrote: "Guys, the suggestion I made was a prompt. A prompt for you to start another thread. Please start a new thread."

I did, but trying to stop a thread hijacking by excited Goodreads posters is exceptionally hard. I do not envy you Mods. Thanks for the great work btw.

Okay, to get us off (giggle) the other threads and to stop hijacking poor innocent topics I started this one.

Do you need help with one of your smutty smutty problems? Did you bang yourself into a corner? Do you even just some general advice in general about writing things of the more sexy nature?

We are here to help!

Just post your question and SIA's own team of experts will do our best!

First Topic of this thread: I think it would be a great idea if the main character in a mystery/ erotica novel had to sex up a statue in order to unlock the next clue in The Da Vinci Cock.

Please discuss *nods*

*edited to make the topic make more sense*

This topic was reminding me of something. I was pondering it for about an hour and then I figured it out.

There was a great little video about video game consumers and how they are fickle with new things. How despite them saying that no matter what they want innovation and new ideas in the industry, anything that is new an innovative doesn't sell worth a hill of beans. However, things that follow the exact same patterns are what sells.

It isn't about books exactly, but I think that if you just replace the word 'video game' with 'book' it really does explain what is going on with many industries right now, including ours.

Innovation and new things, like Indie Authors, are the chances, the unique ideas. They might sell, if people give them a chance.
Sameness and what sells are like the Stephen Kings of publishing. They are established, people want it, and they buy it. They think about taking a chance, and then since everyone else does one thing, they don't take a chance instead. A pack mentality.

Worth a watch if that concept interests you (Plus I find him hilarious):
PS Stephen King I love you. Sorry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cxhs-...

Susan wrote: "okay, soooo is it any different to get into writing erotica than any other topic? All topics/categories would need research as well as an interest, right?"

I think we should bring this into another topic. :D We will happily talk about your smutty ideas there. ;)

Diana: Why not both at the same time? :D

But yes, *ahem* On topic. *blushes*

I don't like it when people make up their own word for something that is obviously something that already exists. This happens in Fantasy novels all the time!

No, that mystical foreign bean caffeine drink you brew is not called Kaaffee. It is Coffee.

No, that odd mouthed dessert animal with a hump is not a Shammek, it is a Camel!

If you are that close, just use the real word. If it is mystical caffeine drink made from crushed beetles, then okay, it can be Kaaffee, I will let you.

Susan wrote: "oh, I shall look for erotic mysteries to read - good place to start, had no idea there was such a genre - intriguing! Could be just what I'm looking to read & write - thanks!! going to check it o..."

That sounds mysterious and interesting! If the characters need to find clues to solve the mystery by having sex in obscure ways with ancient artifacts and locations, oh my god I would lose it. Title Suggestion: The Da Vinci Cock

I read something like this once:

- Self publishing is the absolute greatest thing to happen to literature since the invention of the Gutenberg Press. Absolutely anyone can now publish a book!
- Self publishing is the absolute worst thing to happen to literature since the invention of the Gutenberg Press. Absolutely anyone can now publish a book!

I feel like this is still relevant and in many reader's minds. They have read some Indie Book that wasn't ready for publishing and have been burned in the past. It makes them scared to try something new. There will now always be absolute rubbish out there slung around by perpetually squeaky wheels that will sully indie authors, but we must grow strong because of it. We must try to make the best work that is personally possible before we release it.

If we don't do our best then wha-*Gets BookWhacked and falls to the ground*

Susan wrote: "I've always thought it would be fun to write erotica would be fun, but not sure how to start..... any suggestions???? "

With thrusting? :D

Okay, serious now. There are so many kinds of erotica, or other literature for that matter, that you need to decide what you want to write about.

This really works for any kind of writing, not just erotica.

What are your interests, what are your passions? You need to write about what you find interesting otherwise you will not be interested in the writing, and the reader will not be either!

There are so many genres out there, erotica has many many sub-cultures and it would be good to know where your ideas fit!

The most important thing I can think of is deciding this: Is your story going to be a story that happens to have sex in it, or is your sex going to happen to have some story in it. In other words, is there a plot that happens to have a sex scene every once and a while, or is it just sex scene after sex scene. There are calls for both in all sub-genres so decide which you like.

I couldn't just write a sex and nothing else book. I personally know this about myself, I love foreshadowing just too much to give it up. My book only ended up as an erotica because that was what the story dictated it needed to be. (and I was in an odd mood at the time)

Good luck Susan! Let us know what ends up on the page! :)

True Jenycka,

We don't want people to think that we hate the words 'On Topic'.

I dislike it when people mix genders to prove a point.
'She has big manly arms.' - No she has big womanly arms.
'He had a little girlish waist.' - No, no he didn't!

The main chalkboard on nails for me is something NSFW, but I hate it when they mix incorrect gender bits to prove their 'point' that a guy is girly or a woman is tough.

Jenycka wrote: "If you wear the hat, how did you get so pervy? "

I don't recall saying the hat blocks out anything! Wooooo! Amplify me Alien message hat!

Diana is right, they are filthy and wonderful. My next book might need to be Elves in Space!

Jenycka wrote: "I think there's something about living in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains that just brings out the smuttier side of a person's brain. I've lived all over the Great White North and the biggest per..."

I think it is because the mountains reflect alien messages downwards, to the minds of the people due to their high nickle deposits. It makes people a bit odd.... Fortunately though, I have my tinfoil hat!

Diana wrote: "I'll put it on my calendar to check. No circus erotica genre. I'm so sad.
C. B., Want to write the first book in that genre? You have a start already. "

I certainly did paint a scene didn't I? Oh dear!

Diana wrote: "Can I join the club?"

Of course. I will laminate your member card shortly!

Diana wrote: "You make me want to read circus erotica, if there is such a thing."

Not that I know of... but give it a week or so, it is the internet after all.

Jenycka wrote: "CB, you're about the one person on this board whose mind may actually be dirtier than mine."

I will take that as a... no wait... I will accept that as a compliment! :D

Oh this suddenly got smutty! Neat. :D

I think many words need to fit in the context of the story.

A word like 'hole' needs to fit (giggle). If the book is about your long hair flowing in the wind as the man with the shirt that has been torn open by the act of him flexing his pectoral muscles ravishes you good and proper... then the word hole isn't appropriate.

If the ninth acrobat in the circus troop switches off with the third strongman to pound your already well used big-top while the lion tamer holds you down, then the word hole will fill the need (Giggle).

This really goes for almost all stories. If your teenage werewolf smirks, then well yes - okay. If your teenage werewolf pontificates then no - not okay.