Dwayne’s Comments (group member since Apr 01, 2017)

Dwayne’s comments from the Support for Indie Authors group.

Message 1: Option B

Message 10: Either A or C.

Message 14: Bleh. I guess A.

Phillip, you could have done each of these as a separate post. Thanks, though! Interesting questions.

Just having a little fun.

Peter wrote: ""Sucked his/her teeth..."

That one kills me. Seems like it's a fad in recent books and I HATE IT. I have no idea what sound or expression it's supposed to convey and I can't stand the imagery."

I've used that one a time or three as comedic effect. I think people look silly when they do it.

Anna Faversham wrote: "Have we had iconic yet?"

Don't think so, but that's a good one. Ironic, as well. (Meaning, ironic is overused and often poorly used, not that your post is ironic in any way).

Liam wrote: "Want to fight and live alongside Robin Hood?"

He's long dead, so no.

Now your topic is dead because absolutely everything about the post and the way you posted it goes against our rules.

P.S. I'd rather live alongside Daffy Duck as Robin Hood. YOINKS AND AWAY!

Angela wrote: "Jenna has a choice to make..."

Angela had a choice to make and decided it was okay to hijack the threat and promote her book with a link, even though this is against the rules of the group.

Do not hijack threads.
No self-promotion.
No links.

I don't think it's necessary in the paragraph you quoted, but it wouldn't hurt, either. To me, it's clear that "He would be devoured first" is her thought. Still, italics do make it clearer and some readers prefer it (I actually do, though as a writer, I don't always italicize).

Gail wrote: "When the point of view for an entire chapter or section is made clear...does his/her every internal thought need to italicized?"

There are four ways to show internal thought that are considered correct.
1. Italicized thought, with tag.
2. Italicized thought, no tag.
3. Thought not italicized, with tag.
4. Thought not italicized, no tag.

So, yeah, as long as its clear to the reader that your character is having a thought, you don't need to italicize if you don't want.

M.L. wrote: "However, where is the wolf?"

The blessing and the curse of trying various things out here is that people are getting to know bits of the story and then being thrown for a loop when I post something that's different from what they already know. It's good, though, as it's giving me an idea of what is appealing and what is not.

The story is pretty complex and there's a lot of different things I could do with a cover. I might see what I can do with a wolf cover. I have one in mind that shows a Kobold. I might be working on that one soon and see how it flies.

M.L. wrote: I'm thinking maybe, just maybe the wolf is disguised as an egg. That's of course not right, but I'm trying to reconcile the first cover and second the new one. I like both though.

All I am really going to say to that is to quote one of the main characters who says, "Don’t trust your eyes, Glen. Ever."

Haru wrote: "Just in case you're wondering why, the egg has a lot of personality while the rest looks generic."

Exactly. I want people to be aware of the rest of the stuff on the cover, but I want them to wonder about that egg... It's the only face on the cover, he's an exceedingly light shade of gray (yes, he's gray, but barely), has bright orange pants and a clashing bow tie.

M.L. wrote: "It's really changed. I like it. I'm not at all sure about the tone but it definitely changed. I think someone who knows what you write about will like it as well. It is a nice complete picture. I don't identify a genre, however."

The style is similar to what I've seen on some paranormal mystery covers. I was attempting to do something similar. It needs some tweaking, that's for sure, but this is the basic idea for this one.

Yeah, it's different from the previous one. The book is months from being ready, so I'm taking time to try a few different ideas for covers.

Comment deleted. No links, please. Thanks.

Jim wrote: "I hadn't heard those before."

The first generally shows up in Facebook memes. If you have been able to successfully avoid those... good for you.

The second I hear quite often in different places. Not sure where you're from, but it may be a U.S. (maybe a Midwest) thing.

Thought of a couple more, just now.

"I love me some..."

"I was today years old when I learned..."

I suppose these are cute if you're five. If you're an adult, it just sounds stupid.

I can see how the quote connects with the story. You spell it out pretty well.

Frankly, it's refreshing to be told upfront, "You won't like this guy". Liking a character in a story isn't a requirement for me. I didn't like Humbert Humbert (Lolita), Alexander P. (Portnoy's Complaint), Harry (Rabbit, Run), or Holden Caulfield (The Catcher In The Rye). But... I could relate to all of them. Some readers are expecting a hero or a main character they can imagine as their best friend. I just want someone I can relate to.

I wish your blurb was a bit longer.

Jeremy wrote: "For some reason, in my last book my characters kept 'risking a glance' at something."

That happens to me, too. Maybe not "risking a glance", but I do catch myself having characters do the same action over and over... like nodding. God, I love to make everyone nod. It's so bad that when I'm in editing, I will replace the word "nodding" with "[NODDING]" to show myself how out of control it is.

And, no, I do not write about bobbleheads.

B.A. wrote: "Dwayne, as long as 'smirk' isn't used every time you give their expression, I can handle it. I've actually read books where that was all the people did. After the 3rd or 4th one in a chapter I want..."

I just did a check and I was grossly overestimating how much smirking is going on in this book. Total smirks - 1.

W. wrote: ""Awesome - This one has been on my nerves for decades, now."

I quite agree. For a society which works so hard to expose every thing and find it kewl and acceptable, the idea that I am in AWE of a ..."

It really hit me some years ago when a commercial for [famous cereal] showed a kid with a [lame prize] shouting out, "Awesome!" and I smirked (for B.A.) and wondered what that kid thinks awesome really means.