Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)’s Comments (group member since Sep 20, 2013)

Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)’s comments from the Net Work Book Club group.

As I always say, Reality is a concept.

You could start a beachfront teashop, selling all the sandwiches there!

"Are you serious?" That used to make my husband foam at the mouth. He was a travel agent all his life, and when he'd tell a college-age client the price of a hotel, or the rules on a ferryboat, or whatever, he'd get "Are you serious?"
Being an older European male, he found it offensive; well, in Spanish, it is.

When I worked in a language school for my sins, there was a young woman who greeted all my statements with, "Oh I don't believe that." The intonation suggested I was having her on, and not in a joking way. I finally said, "Katherine, if you call me a liar one more time I'm going to deck you."

The net worth of these jokes is dropping deeper all the time.

Conversations like this one:

"Orinoco, you've got makeup on your neck."
"No--it's solid perfume. I must not have rubbed it in enough."
"No it isn't--it's makeup."
"I don't wear makeup. I don't own any makeup. It's solid perfume. I know, because I put it there."
"I think it's makeup."

As long as we don't try to weasel out of it, nobody should badger us.

I decided to clam up for a bit, but y'all carry on! I'm not shellfish about it.

Or "I have to say..." followed by a zinger. No, you don't have to say it, you chose to.

Reminds me of the joke I was told in Wales: If you stand on the coast, and you can see the islet offshore, it's going to rain. If you can't, it's already raining.

C'mon, fish or cut bait, buddy!

Don't tell me--you shared that joke just for the halibut!

How about a barmaid named Phyllis Glass?

You're tomb much.

Shhh, if you're not quiet the place will soon be awash with poor puns!

Anyone can kill a lion if they've got a high-powered rifle with a special scope and all. Let the dentist face one the old African way, armed with only a bow or spear, see how that comes out!

Water you worried about? Float another venture!

Leaf it! It's not worth it!

mrbooks wrote: "Hmmm it seems fishy that they called when he was working and now they aren't. I don't know about radio 4, but me when I retire for the second time I am not planning to do anything, well except rea..."

I think it's because in Spain, when a man answers the phone and says "No, I'm not interested, thank you" they sort of believe it. When a woman answers and says the same, they ignore it. They want to talk to a man, I guess.

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.

Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.

"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.

The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

Sure gets some half-baked ideas, too.