Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)’s Comments (group member since Sep 20, 2013)

Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all)’s comments from the Net Work Book Club group.

"Niceties" is and interesting word. Someone was talking about "not knowing all the social niceties" of a given situation and got me thinking. Of course "nice" used to mean "careful" or "detailed" or "exacting" but it could also mean those things that make social interaction pleasant or "nice".

Oh it's just PTSD acquired in very early childhood. Trust no one, even as your dearest wish is to do so.

I guess I'm lucky that I'm paranoid by nature, then.

This is a business woman in her early forties, though, MrB.

Patriciaenola wrote: "Brilliant replies I may need to use them - Mr Books - there's a certain mystique about it - and that last comment of Orinoco's I found really incredibly dismissive - love that one"

I can't believe my friends who get sucked into cold-calling schemes. Especially supposed banks and phone providers. They call you and claim to be from Orange or whoever, and then ask you for your contract details???? If that's the real company you're with, they made the contract and have it!! I tell my friends, "Look, the person calling you already has your phone number...and yet you have no idea who or where that person is!!"

When idiot cold-callers pretending to be from my phone company or bank ask me for personal info, I respond: "If you're who you say you are, you already have it." Or if someone comes to the door with the same sort of request: "If that were any of your business, you'd already know."

mrbooks wrote: "How about, You need to know... I understand everything you are going through, really. The one you have to truly watch out for is I know what happened, meaning they got the wrong end of the stick an..."

"I understand"..."I know how you feel"...often used when there is no way they could possibly know or understand because they've never been there. Like my friend whose healthy, athletic daughter died in her sleep one night a few months back. Saying I understood that pain would be a grave insult.

I have a student who came to me at age 13, now 15. I don't usually work with adolescents but she is the exception. She often brings me highschool drama that she doesn't feel she can share with her parents, and I always try to avoid the phrases that hurt so much when I was that age: "It's no big deal." "Don't worry about it." "It's not important." But at that age it IS important, it IS a big deal that someone suddenly ices you for no reason, or falsely accuses you to stir up a little drama among your friends. I try to express compassion without using those phrases that separate kids from adults! I remember how it felt to be pooh-poohed, so I try to connect with her on that level.

The worst: Don't feel that way! She already does, now you're going to deny her right to her pain or sorrow?

Ohhh hey Patty!! I was getting so lonesome in here...good to see somebody!!

"You know what your problem is?" I always itch to respond: "Yes--YOU."

Patriciaenola wrote: "I would love a reason to use the phrase that's clas ......
My husband was a Military man - he used it - often
I hope it is now bad also to tactfully mention the result of an abandoned project "chu..."

Reminds me of the Lady Chablis' mama's advice in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, meaning "nobody's gonna cry for you, so don't cry for yourself." She would say: "Two tears in a bucket--mother f*** it."

Soap-opera worthy phrases that always give me pause:

1. We need to talk. Usually about something that's none of the speaker's business. (Corollary: Can I see you for a second? Particularly in the workplace, what comes next is never, ever going to be good.)

2. Can I ask you a question? I have to fight the urge to say, "You can, but there's no guarantee I'll answer." Again, usually what's coming is none of the asker's business, and often flat-down rude.

3. "Do you remember that time you ---?" Be prepared to have something you don't even remember come back and bite you hard in the backside.

4. "You should sit down." Ooooh boy. We are now in cardiac arrest territory.

I've mostly heard it during arguments about a relationship (not mine, fortunately).

Not really a "love", just a switch. Until just recently this would have been a phrase I hated. "If you don't know/understand, I can't tell/explain it to you."

Until just recently I would have classed this as an unhelpful phrase which elevates the speaker over the person asking for an explanation or a reason. I have just learned that there are indeed situations in which the reasons for an action or a reaction are so obvious that the person asking is either playing dumb, or so unaware that there's nothing anyone can do to make them understand.

So yeah. If they don't understand, I can't explain it to them.

Lexie wrote: "Love Shakespeare. Just watched a DVD of Merchant of Venice with Jonathan Price as Shylock, performed at The Globe. The groundlings were very well behaved."

I love Al Pacino's version, too. The Americans hadn't filmed it since silent movies because they were afraid it was anti-semitic. Pacino played the merchant as a man who is in the process of going too far and yet can't stop himself. He made the audience see how the "good Christians" weren't so very good, either. Basically he puts the audience in his pocket and walks off with it!

Certainly is one in the eye for all those oh-so-superior ack-torrrs of the 1950s (I'm looking right at you, Olivier).

They say Shakespeare spoke Estuary English, which I am inclined to believe as he rhymed "Laughter" with "water." OK it's assonance, but still.

Jam for tea! Lovely!

BTW, good to see you Lexie! There's been nothing in here but a big old echo for days. I'm getting lonesome!

It does mean what you think it means. Dusk is crepuscule in French. Twilight, or the cat's light, or eventide.

I was chortling with a friend yesterday over that line in Pride and Prejudice where Lizzy B. says, "Mr Darcy may hug himself." These days she would have used the f-bomb.