Marita’s Comments (group member since Oct 15, 2019)

Marita’s comments from the Beta Reading Group for Marita A. Hansen group.

Emma carruthers wrote: "Love this Makes me picture her all now from top to bottom so I can have a picture in my head of her and Reilly early on :-) x"

Cool, thanks, and thanks for pointing it out :) It's better now.

Emma carruthers wrote: "Soon as Riley caged her in at the school lockers a wanted to know what she looked like what he was looking down on. So I guessed. Lol but now you have told me she deffo sounds better, love a brown ..."

I can add this on page three without it affecting the flow, allowing people to know she has dark curly hair:

Even though I wanted to hide behind my mass of dark curls, I lifted my chin instead, putting on a defiant front. “Go away, you jerks,” I said, relieved that my voice came out strong.

Emma carruthers wrote: "Well I loved the first chapter!! Was brilliant to see a unpolished girl as the lead roll this time, makes girls feel more human that you don’t have to be thin,perfect and in the most popular group...."

Thanks, Emma! Rebel Wilson is cool, though near the beginning of chapter 2 you'll find out that Lucy has brown hair. Here's the lines:

Riley gave me a whistle as I opened the door. “You look totally babe worthy tonight, Lucy,” he said, causing a flush to light up my cheeks, which wasn’t hard to do since I was pale. I was Irish-American, with milky skin and dark-brown hair that was hard to tame, my curls unruly to say the least.

Should I state she has dark curly hair in the first chapter to save confusion, or just leave it at the beginning of chapter 2?

I forgot to mention one thing, the series is from different perspectives. In The Cheat, Lucy and Riley have the main points of view. They are the main characters in the whole series, though, you will also get inside the other characters' heads in different episodes (like Brooke in the Cheerleader).

Also, if you want to have a bit of fun, you can also upload images, showing what you think the characters look like. Lucy, for me, reminds me of a curly haired Kat from Euphoria.

Emma carruthers wrote: "Can’t wait for the cheerleader already bloody love your sexy bits in a book. Il be waiting up for the first chapter #bringiton xx"

Cool, I've sent the first chapter :)

I've sent the first chapter out to everyone who has given me their email or kindle email. Anyone who hasn't sent in their emails can still do so, it's not a rush, though the discussions will start soon.

THE CHEAT (Episode 1)
THE CHEERLEADER (Episode 2)
THE CORPSE (Episode 3)

Themes: NA, High School Romance, Teen Drama, Seniors, Enemies to Lovers, Popular Boy/Unpopular Girl, Hockey, Sports, Murder Mystery, Cheerleaders, Jocks, Minnesota, R18 (in parts).

Please note that all the main characters are 18 or older.

Hi, Everyone, just letting you know I'll be sending out The Cheat's first chapter in the next hour or so, but I also wanted to let you know I've been working on THE CHEERLEADER as well. The Cheerleader (which is almost finished) is the next book in this series, followed by THE CORPSE (there's a murder mystery thrown into the NA drama). The Cheat is basically the first episode, The Cheerleader being the second, and The Corpse the third. Just one warning about The Cheerleader, that one is a bit ranchy. It's not intentional erotica, but is needed for the plot.

☺~Tina~☺ wrote: "If you still have a spot available, I would be interested, thanks."

Yes, spots are still available. I'm hoping to send out the first chapter today, so you'll need to PM me with your email or kindle email. Thanks!

The first chapter will be ready tomorrow. I will send it out to everyone who's given me their kindle or normal email. If you don't want it in mobi form, please let me know.

Rochelle wrote: "I have sent you my Kindle address for the beta chapters. I can't wait to get started."

Thanks!

I have set up a discussion page for CHAPTER 1. Here is the link:
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

I will be sending out Chapter 1 this week.

I have set up a discussion page for CHAPTER 1. Here is the link:
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

I will be sending out Chapter 1 this week.

This page is for Chapter 1's discussion.

1) On this page you'll be able to discuss what you like and dislike about the chapter. But please make sure that your comments are constructive, not demolarizing.

2) If you are beta reading this chapter you'll need to PM me your email (for window docs or mobi files) or kindle email (for mobi files).

3) The chapter won't be edited, so there will be typos and other errors, whether grammatical or storywise. So, please be aware that you won't be reading a polished, finished ARC. Also, some UK English might slip in since I'm a New Zealander. If you see UK English instead of US English, definitely correct me :)

4) You can either point out typos or grammatical errors or just comment on the story - or do both. I'm happy with whatever you want to comment on. For typos, you can just message me with those, for anything related to the plot and characters, you can discuss on here. I hope the discussions will be fun.

5) There are bound to be different viewpoints with other beta readers, even with myself. This is fine, just play nice. As I said, I want everyone to have fun, not get upset.

6) You can stop beta reading whenever you like. I understand my story won't be for everyone, so don't feel obliged to continue helping me. Also, life gets busy, so if you find that you don't have enough time to read the story, no worries.

7) This story is not Young Adult, it's New Adult, therefore will have sexual content. Though, all the main characters will be 18 or older. Please be aware of this just in case this kind of story isn't for you.

8) This story is set in Minnesota. If I get anything wrong in regards to the setting, please let me know.

The first chapter will be sent out in the next day or two.

THANKS in advance!!! I hope you like my story :)

Andrea **the ChaPPy CHiCKeN** wrote: "Hello 👋
I’m Andrea from Canada. I’ve read for Marita in the past and enjoy her creativity. I look forward to digging in to this new project and chatting with the group."

Hi, Andrea!! I'm so glad to see you here :) :)

Nicolette wrote: "Hi I’m robin, I’m 18 and I’ve had a passion for reading since I was 16. I’ve never been a beta reader before but I’m honestly super excited to give it a try. I can’t wait to read this new adult
Ser..."

Welcome, hope you enjoy the group :) I'm hoping to send out the first chapter next week.

Nicolette wrote: "I am interested!"

Great! Welcome to the group, Nicolette :)

Emma carruthers wrote: "Can’t wait super excited, feel kick a kid in a candy shop haha."

I'm starting to get excited... and nervous! 😀

Paula wrote: "I’m interested 😀"

Cool! Welcome to the group :)

An update: The Cheat is just over 22,500 words, and has 8 chapters. The first chapter is 9 window doc pages long. I can send it out as a mobi or windows doc (next week), or whatever file type works best for you. If anyone doesn't like the first chapter (or the follow up ones) don't feel like you have to continue beta reading, I understand it won't be everyone's taste. It's New Adult through and through. Anyway, I want this to be as fun as possible. I used to have a beta reading group a number of years ago for My Masters' Nightmare, which was a lot of fun. Though, The Cheat isn't harsh like MMN, plus the language is fairly clean due to the location and characters. However, it does get a bit raunchy at times, but only for plot purposes not for the sake of it. *The characters are 18 or older.