Kylo Ren, thy name is Little Emo Bitch

Warning: SPOILERS, SPOILERS. SERIOUSLY, SPOILERS.

So I just watched the new Star Wars movie. Disclaimer: I wasn’t a fan of the original trilogy, so for any of you Star Wars devotees, if you want to ignore my opinion, feel free to.

Though you are free to ignore my opinion regardless :P

Though the film had a couple of problems – like pacing & somewhat weak character development (especially for Rey, bad-ass female protagonist though she is. Though I would argue that there was some weak character development in the first Star Wars movie too. Like, honestly, I wouldn’t give a shit if Luke Skywalker died) & blatantly ripping off parts of the original Star Wars (and that’s coming from ME, who is not a fan of the original trilogy and who hasn’t seen the trilogy in a looong time) & shamelessly cashing in on the nostalgic appeal & some real uninspired dialogue – I have to say I liked the film. It was pretty cool (especially since I saw it in IMAX 3D). The effects were spectacular and it just screamed BLOCKBUSTER.

And Han Solo’s death scene was BRUTAL. Kylo Ren, thy name is Little Emo Bitch! You had Princess (now General) motherfucking Leia and Han motherfucking Solo as your parents. How did you turn out to be such a little emo bitch who smashes shit whenever the slightest thing doesn’t go the way you planned? And you killed your DAD, aka who’s like the coolest character in the Star Wars universe.

I cheered so much when he was trying to call Luke’s light-saber to him but instead Rey took it because dude, SHE’S THE CHOSEN ONE, EMO BITCH.

& she’s so obviously Luke’s kid.

I have to say Adam Driver’s (Emo bitch) acting didn’t totally irritate me. He was admittedly pretty decent in the movie. For some reason, I just totally hate him in Girls. Though that could be because he plays a sociopath who’s supposed to be a fucking LOVE INTEREST.

But dudes, five bucks that there will be a love triangle between Rey, Finn, & Kylo Ren. I just sense it for some reason. Could be totally wrong (wouldn’t be the first time, you know), but I sense it.

Other quibbles: Lupita Nyong’o just VOICES someone?! Also, Captain Phasma was under-used, I feel.

But so watching Episode VIII!