What to See Over the Holidays (and With Whom)

The holiday season is more than just upon us. It is here in full force, sitting heavy in our laps like a young child on Santa’s knee, which means gifts, long naps, vacation days — and spending hours with our families. Sure, we love ‘em, but the idea of serving as your mother’s personal IT specialist or having to explain once again to Aunt Polly that no, there’s no one special, can damper even the hardiest of festive cheer.

Luckily, Hollywood is here to help (and capitalize off of) this plight by releasing an endless stream of films over the next few weeks, because what better excuse is there to not talk to your loved ones than watching a movie? Plus, with the mass of films being released, there’s something there for everyone; Nana, Crazy Aunt Polly, even your weird cousin Larry who thinks he can see smells. Since a breadth of opportunity can be overwhelming (and no one wants to end up seated next to Dad during a heated sex scene), here’s your guide on what to see with whom.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens



In Theaters: Now

Stars: Newcomers Daisy Ridley and John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson, and obvi. Harrison Ford and whoever plays Chewbacca.

Rating: PG-13

Who are you taking: The entire family. Chances are, anyone in your family is going to want to see this movie, and the fans (your older brother who had all the action figures in permanent fighting poses in his closet until the age of 25) will want to see it twice, maybe even three times.

The deets: Not since Lord of the Rings has a four-quadrant-friendly (that’s industry speak for men and women over and under the age of 25) action film with such a prestigious legacy been released, and while perhaps you, like me, don’t remember a lot about the previous films (There’s Leia? The force is important, there are light-sabers, Darth Vadar is your father), the trailer alone will give you the chills. Plot details be damned, there’s a palpable sense of nostalgia and legacy in those cool little tunic outfits and that impressive score, and the whole family will enjoy diving back into this galaxy far, far away. (See what I did there?)

Sisters



In theaters: Now

Stars: Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Maya Rudolph, Ike Barinholtz

Rating: R

Who you’re taking: Your kooky aunts. They’re going to love this shit. Just make sure you’re comfortable sitting by their side through whatever raunchy comedy stuff pushed this flick into the R-zone — white wine in a to-go cup should do the trick.

The deets: Amy Poehler and Tina Fey play sisters in this Jason Moore-directed film (the man who brought us Pitch Perfect, so what couldn’t go right) who are tasked with cleaning up their childhood home before their parents sell it forever. Obviously, they chose to have a giant party instead and hilarity ensues, because these two women could literally take a nap on screen and create movie gold.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip



In Theaters: Now

Stars: Chipmunks. And Jason Lee. Poor, poor Jason Lee.

Rating: PG

Who you’re taking: Those under the age of 9, otherwise known as the only subsection of mankind who can listen to tiny, cartoon rat-like creatures shriek and find it hilarious.

The deets: Dave, the Chipmunks’ dad (?), has finally found love — except she comes with a deadbeat teenage son whom Alvin & Co. are not so fond of. So, they join forces with the twerp to crash Dave’s proposal and put a stop to this wedding once and for all. You know, your classic family comedy, except three of them are rodents.

Joy



In Theaters: 12/25

Stars: Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Donna Mills, Robert De Niro

Rating: PG-13

Who you’re taking: Your mom! Because girl power.

The deets: The film follows the story behind OG entrepreneur Joy Mangano, inventor of the Miracle Mop, and the difficult road she forged to support her family and create her multi-million dollar empire — girl/mom power to the max. While reviews have been mixed, it’s still awesome to see a film out there with a strong female lead, especially one played by Jennifer Lawrence, who has had just as much gumption and influence over the film industry with her grip on not one but two franchises and her recent article on the wage gap in Hollywood.

The Revenant



In Theaters: 12/25

Stars: Tom Hardy, Leonardo DiCaprio, Domhnall Gleeson

Rating: R (for good reason)

Who you’re taking: Definitely not your mom. Stick to relatives comfortable with gore — weird cousins, uncles who like hunting, your stoic father-in-law. Sisters with stomachs of steel. Anyone but your mom.

The deets: Don’t kill Leonardo DiCaprio’s son. Just don’t do it. That’s the overall message of this beautifully shot but gory, Western-style film from Birdman director Alejandro González Iñárritu. The story follows Leo on his journey through the uncharted wilderness to avenge his son after he’s been mauled by a bear and left for dead.

Dialogue is sparse, but the cinematography is truly gorgeous and all encompassing (rumor has it Iñárritu relied only on natural light and shot almost exclusively at magic hour, right before sundown) and the pace is break-neck, so the 2 ½ hour run time flies by. But keep in mind this film is not for those who get a little faint-y at blood — shit gets real in the woods during a quest for vengeance.

The Hateful Eight



In theaters: 12/25

Stars: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Channing Tatum, Samuel L. Jackson

Rating: R

Who you’re taking: Your film-buff cousin who can recite all of Tarantino’s credits by heart. And also not your mom.

The deets: This 168 minute romp of a Western centers around the hangman tasked with bringing a wanted woman to justice, and the six up-to-no-gooders who get in his way because, as we learned in The Revenant, nothing is easy in a Western. It’s Tarantino, so there will be blood, but there will also be iconic dialogue, amazing action sequences and unforgettable characters, so if you can handle three hours of indulgent yet visionary filmmaking, godspeed.

Point Break



In theaters: 12/25

Stars: No one you’ve heard of.

Rating: PG-13

Who you’re taking: Your bro-y cousin who felt strongly, emotionally connected to Fast & Furious 7/any extreme sports enthusiasts in your family/anyone who doesn’t already have intense connections to the original, because they will probably refuse to see a remake.

The deets: I was going to hate on this a bit but I just re-watched the trailer and the stunts are pretty effing incredible. The story, inspired by the 1991 hit by the same name, follows an undercover detective as he infiltrates a ring of extreme athletes using their skills to interrupt international markets. Because obviously. Spoiler alert: these athletes are really hot.

Now pass the popcorn and tell me what you plan to see.

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