Better Beards Than Santa

Bless the modern man who decided to put down his razor

Who stopped red-lining his scruff like a ruthless editor

And decided to let it grow free.

Bless the significant others who were patient during the early phases

Who stood by as the shadow chaffed their faces

Who put up with that in-between stage where sparse hairs clung to upper lips in a manner that’s best-described as creepy.

Bless the men who paved the way — founding fathers, ancient philosophers, various wizards, leprechauns and lumberjacks.

Santa.

Hagrid.

Bless the men who went against the grain (but never shaved against it)

Who scratched the itch

Who braved the scratch

Who never tired of the joke, “I’m saving it for later.”

Bless those in Brooklyn who brought it back

And traditionalists who never let it go Jack

Tom Selleck’s ‘staches for getting the whole thing started

Ugly Christmas sweater parties

Mutton chops

Irony

No-shave November

Never Shave Again December.

Bless these beautiful beards

And cheers to forgetting about chins entirely in the year two-thousand and sixteen.

Beard research by Emily Zirimis and Krista Anna Lewis

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