Mouthing Off and Some Updates

I enjoy my time on Goodreads but it’s recently occurred to me that it’s become a bit of a vampire. As you’re all aware by now I’m a broke, shit eating indie author who still has to beg people to read his books. I’m learning that this pastime is about as much fun as visiting the GUM clinic with a chapped willy. But like many authors out there who are seeking some sort of vindication for wasting their lives away writing stories that only a handful of people read, I spend a lot of my spare time racking my brains, trying to think up inventive ways to get people reading my stuff.

Before Goodreads went all Maggie Thatcher on us, it used to be the case that a user’s profile would indicate that they’d categorically enjoy what I’m doing. So I’d contact them with a personalised message, offering them my work for free in return for a review. There were normally two outcomes which would amount to either being ignored or the person would oblige. These days, however, Goodreads has outlawed this practice on the basis that it amounts to spam. The cold, hard truth of the matter is that Goodreads wants authors to spend money on their promotional tools. They no longer want to provide a free networking facility for both authors and readers – just readers. This is all very well if you’re not a broke, shit eating indie author like me.

About a month ago I contacted Goodreads, told them that their policy was a massive pair of swinging elephant bollocks and suggested that instead they should have an opt-in option for people who are open-minded enough to be contacted by authors (you could even personalise it so you don’t get people approaching you with books you definitely don’t want to read). This would cater for everyone. In fact I’d go so far as to say it’s the answer to all of our prayers.

Regardless, Goodreads got back to me with a copy and pasted response which didn’t address my suggestion. The reality is that Goodreads is a cut-throat business and, just like other cut-throat businesses who leech on people's creativity, they want to extract money out of authors wherever they can. How better to do this than saying we’re not allowed to network for free anymore?

Since this policy has come into effect I’ve been struggling to locate readers. This is because I’m now limited to only being allowed to contact people on my buddies list or to post on forums which, let’s face it, are normally hostile towards authors who are looking for readers unless the forum exists solely for that purpose. There are always give aways but I’m dubious about how effective they really are. Great for getting people to click the ‘to read’ button; not so great for getting people to actually read your books.

What this means is I’m now turning to real world marketing in the New Year. What is real world marketing? I hear you ask. Well, real world marketing is a term I made up which sounds like the sort of thing social media expert bell-ends use in an effort to sound like they know what they’re talking about. What I mean by it is that online/ social media marketing is becoming a headache these days so in the New Year I’m going to start contacting people in the real world in a bid to locate more readers.

This idea has come from my good friend Emerald. Emerald made some leaflets for me and then took them to Banksy’s Dismaland as well as some anarchist book fares. These are the sorts of events which will be full of people open to what I’m doing. So in 2016 I’m going to be using some old school guerrilla warfare tactics to get people reading my stuff. I have some ideas and will keep you all posted. I may even turn up in a city near you so we can hang out together and fart.

In other news I’m going to release a short story at the beginning of December. It’s like a deleted scene out of The Rebel’s Sketchbook covering everyone’s three favourite subjects: internet idiots, selfies and North Korea. I personally think it’s hilarious. If you’ve read Sentenced then the narrator is our Saul’s little cousin and he’s a complete fuckwit who will get right on your nerves.

Dear all: if you’ve read Spark or The Rebel’s Sketchbook and you know anyone who’ll enjoy these books then please ask them to contact me for free copies in their preferred format. Mention it on the forums you’re a member of or have a look through your buddies list and recommend these books to like-minded people, telling them I’ll gladly provide them with a copy in exchange for a review.

Dear authors in the same boat: we need to take a step back from this demoralising situation and push for a better platform. I imagine you're not happy with having to beg either. Let's think up ways of making this work better in 2016.

Okay, I’m finito done with begging for 2015. It’s been frustrating as fuck and I've hated every second of it. 2016 is going to be far more productive...

Thanks for reading and will catch up with you soon.

R.D