Shutting Down Shame in Marriage

“Instead of getting defensive and blowing up, realize that he or she has just been very brave.”

Building on last week (Jesus’ sexual ethic is to see, know, love, connect), let’s listen to Dr. Tina on a typical barrier to connection in marriage (and all relationships). Whether in a passing comment or a heated argument, it’s easy to throw words out–often easily misunderstood words. Today’s ideas on how to de-escalate and fully understand what our lovers want us to hear can help beyond our marriage. These are the keys to any relationship.

If reading via email, click here to watch.

Let’s discuss: Recall the first time (if ever) you spoke up about how a statement felt like an attack to you. How did it go? Did you find that the other person intended to communicate what you heard?

Click here for being mismatched in lovemaking.

Click here for abuse recovery.

Click here for purity kids and sexual disfunction.

Click here for honeymoons for the formerly-abstinent.

Click here for duty sex.

Click here for male and female sex drives.

Click here for Jesus’ sexual ethic.

What’s this summer series all about?

This summer, I’ll be sharing short videos taken from my two hour Emerald City interview on “Shame, Intimacy and Sex Ed” with Christian sex therapist, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers. You’ve already seen her at RubySlippers’ posts and interviews. See part one.

Because of Dr. Sellers practical concern that Christians understand that God created erotic desires, Tina is one of the best sources I’ve found in helping me navigate the pillow talk between me and my husband.

Dr. Sellers is a wife, mother, professor, founder of ThankGodForSex.org, certified sex therapist, and licensed family and marriage therapist. Those last two are a dynamic duo of credentials that are rarely seen together. And the lack of professionals who practice both family/marriage and sex therapies is a big problem for those of us who want thriving marriages and thriving sex lives. Thank God for Tina!  I particularly love the way she lives a sexual intimacy that she teaches (My Love List for My Husband . . . And Why Gratefulness is Good for the Heart). Follow her blog and thoughts @TinaSSellers.