5 Ways to Avoid a Sample Sale Fail

The rarely-reached depths of your wardrobe are a graveyard of sample sale shame: that white leather backpack missing a strap. A pair of over-the-knee boots that resemble thigh-high fishing gaiters on your average-length legs. There are so many, in fact, that you swore you’d never again grace the delirium-inducing door of a sample sale.

But then you started receiving the torrent-like stream of emails that make your inbox convulse: Sample Sale! One Day Only! Up to 80% off RRP. Despite your avowals that you’re saving for a holiday/mortgage/dog, you find yourself in a queue that is fifty frantic women deep, all desperately attempting to load Style.com SS11 runway images to confirm that the lone dress hanging is the dress — the mythical one that “wasn’t produced.” And then the madness begins.

Stop hyperventilating. There are basic precautions you can take to prevent your bargain bin wasteland getting any more gargantuan…

Always pay in cash

A credit card can lead to a) impulsive decisions incentivized by the belief that you bank at Gringotts, b) the inability to pay for rent/food/basic sanitation. Instead, be a grown up and budget. If you find a buy-it-or-die piece that you haven’t got the exact $$$ for (but you DO have in the bank), leave the item with a trusted companion, and nip out quickly for more currency.

Wear an appropriate outfit

The inevitability of ending up half naked while clutching a sheer bra to your rib cage in front of a multitude of strangers is high; changing rooms are not abundant at these showdowns. Never wear a dress (how will you publicly try on that corseted strapless number with underwire cups if you are already wearing one?) and opt for separates that comprise the fundamentals of your wardrobe. Only if you can imagine the coveted piece assimilating into your existing wardrobe should you make the purchase.

Avoid the cheapest bargain bins

Ignore that tantalizing footer at the bottom of the sample sale email: “Prices start at $30.” The bargain bin binge is a downward spiral amass with overstretched jersey, marker-stained macramé, broken straps and broken hearts. If you hear yourself considering items you can “wear in bed,” “wear to a costume party,” or “make into pillowcases,” step away from the deluge of discounts and proceed to the higher priced (but still reasonable) rails.

  Never bring a reluctant friend

This is not an event for catching up with a long lost college buddy who works in the environmental sector. You need a hardened companion, dedicated to the cash-saving cause, who is prepared to bestow you with a hearty slap should your hysteria become unmanageable. Turn to a compadre who will tirelessly watch you try on the same pair of silk Bermuda shorts six times and act as your only mirror, because reflective surfaces will be as rare as your favorite Rodarte runway being priced under $100.

Consider your alteration options

Damaged or wrongly-sized garments must be assessed with caution. Don’t be lured by a pair of flared pants that are 8 inches too long for your limbs — once you’ve had them altered, they will be skinnies. Zippers can be replaced, heels can be resoled, buttons can be re-sewn and oversized tees can be belted. Avoid single shoes, shredded silk and pieces that will never fit no matter how many toes you amputate, girdles you purchase or butt-enhancing pads you buy.

And with that, I bid you good luck.

Now that you’re armed, go on and shop those sales. Remember to bring along the essentials and remember, spandex doesn’t always end in heartbreak.