God and the Feeling of Depression
I am not that different from many other people. Feelings of depression come when something of extreme boredom, isolation or self-loathing hit me. The ultimate depression can also come when any great security is taken from me as well. In the end it is difficult to face something which will really bring my ending -- whether that be slowly or by a direct teasing way. It helps to have faith in something -- especially if I cannot have it in myself. [See my book: amzn.to/1R1Oayq -- shown at the end of this post]
In my last post, "Confidence & Decisiveness With Touch", I failed to mention just what a belief in a God or figurehead can do. We look at our prophets -- and the names of our deities -- Brahman, Buddha, Jehovah, Christ,[the Father and Spirit], Yahweh, Allah, Supreme Truth, Yu-huang, the variations of Kami, Apollo and Zeus, the Norse, Celtic & Welsh gods, the Inca, Mayan, Aztec gods and not to forget the African, Native North American, Eskimo and South Pacific deities.[Please forgive me if I've left yours out.] Yet if I can believe that "God is one; names are many", then at the least I can realize that I am not in charge.
My answer to the atheists is that they too must either see the tendencies of the activities in the species, or the forces in the universe. If we cannot learn about natural phenomena then we will have great frustration and pain. So for me, it is easier to be agnostic than atheist. (Yes, I admit),'I just do not know.'
"Who am I to say there is no God?" said the alcoholic who later quit drinking for good.Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions(pg 145)The discipline of staying sober is a mystery for many. Those who cannot control their depressive side have not given in to their deity yet, or actually succumb to all sorts of sordid activity. We become irritated and can even make decisions based on anger, fear or other untoward emotions. Sometimes these decisions may be valid, other times the result is totally random.
All of us then are a restless people needing some type of figure of leadership to keep us sane. As long as the positive figure is not thrown at us in which case we rebel -- a lasting society can eventually result that can be followed. Fate itself is sometimes the answer to our original question -- "What is life?"
It seems that 'forced goodness' is thrust upon us when we have the examples of keeping order, having gratitude, and caring for each other as the tenets of our desires. Sometimes instincts make me break the rules. Sometimes I have had to accept and 're-break' the rules just to get back to the starting point.
When I was young I was expected to strictly sleep at certain hours of the night. This obedience was impossible and I never really slept well at all until I had the freedom to sleep whenever I wanted to. Now, when I do not have steady work I rest with more quality sleep when I want and need to sleep. I then write and work on my own time. I do not have to answer to parents, family or clock. Sure, when I do get work I will have to adjust -- but for now I get just as much work done sleeping only when I need it. I am betting that by not forcing the issue of sleep that I am becoming healthier.
That is not to say that work will not have to be done. Daily disciplines and routines bring us closer to God.[Or to human society if you so desire.] Not until I do my daily physical exercises do I 'gear up' and face problems with energy. Therefore:
Prayer and meditation also have meaning to me much like they could to an atheist -- for just by self-hypnosis do we 'rise to the occasion' and put our best foot forward. I simply refuse to feel badly about myself because of inane, insane, and selfish criticism. There are good reasons to like myself. Anything else from 'naysayers' would be bullying. When I am criticized though, I try to weigh the issues justly and act with accord. Hoping for humility I would even act accordingly.
For whatever reason my mental-emotional disability makes me work harder to be a valuable member of society. When I have felt like an outcast I have concerned myself with what part I would play in groups of people. Sometimes I hate to admit that I have stayed in a particular group either for fear or spite. Now I have changed. Instead I try to take the role of an adult male who works to attain goals no matter how small or large they may be. I feel that I can work as a loner in an Alaskan cottage, or with others in a crowded Delaware family swimming pool. I can now deal with a variety of venues.
My mental-emotional disability therefore has done the opposite to me -- it has given me strength by forcing me to 'overcome'.[MLK-inspiration] I want to show ways that the existence of a God explains just how inner fears can be dealt with.
Isolation is a two-edged sword. It can be used as a terrifying fear of humans or an attractive love towards God. We grow into the emotions that we allow ourselves to feel.
My wife, Leslie, wears two hearing aids. Without them it is difficult for her to communicate. She also cannot tolerate shrill or piercing noises in either ear. For these reasons I know that she is moving 'on her own thoughts' most of the time. Heck, a lot of the time she is unable to hear me. This physical frustration, this isolation makes her strong in my eyes.
I see her courage every day as God wakes us up with all of our other senses. Her choice to live fully is 'catchy' and despite her disability her kindness inspires me to be at my best.
Alone or together -- with gratitude and sharing in life -- actions are made to lead all feelings. "Actions speak louder than words." The Stigma of the Mentally Ill: Bob Does Everything Backwards
I hope and pray that we all can be of value to others -- and feel the gratitude that comes by honoring God and loving our neighbors.
Godspeed;
Sincerely,
Robert N. Franz
In my last post, "Confidence & Decisiveness With Touch", I failed to mention just what a belief in a God or figurehead can do. We look at our prophets -- and the names of our deities -- Brahman, Buddha, Jehovah, Christ,[the Father and Spirit], Yahweh, Allah, Supreme Truth, Yu-huang, the variations of Kami, Apollo and Zeus, the Norse, Celtic & Welsh gods, the Inca, Mayan, Aztec gods and not to forget the African, Native North American, Eskimo and South Pacific deities.[Please forgive me if I've left yours out.] Yet if I can believe that "God is one; names are many", then at the least I can realize that I am not in charge.
My answer to the atheists is that they too must either see the tendencies of the activities in the species, or the forces in the universe. If we cannot learn about natural phenomena then we will have great frustration and pain. So for me, it is easier to be agnostic than atheist. (Yes, I admit),'I just do not know.'
"Who am I to say there is no God?" said the alcoholic who later quit drinking for good.Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions(pg 145)The discipline of staying sober is a mystery for many. Those who cannot control their depressive side have not given in to their deity yet, or actually succumb to all sorts of sordid activity. We become irritated and can even make decisions based on anger, fear or other untoward emotions. Sometimes these decisions may be valid, other times the result is totally random.
All of us then are a restless people needing some type of figure of leadership to keep us sane. As long as the positive figure is not thrown at us in which case we rebel -- a lasting society can eventually result that can be followed. Fate itself is sometimes the answer to our original question -- "What is life?"
It seems that 'forced goodness' is thrust upon us when we have the examples of keeping order, having gratitude, and caring for each other as the tenets of our desires. Sometimes instincts make me break the rules. Sometimes I have had to accept and 're-break' the rules just to get back to the starting point.
When I was young I was expected to strictly sleep at certain hours of the night. This obedience was impossible and I never really slept well at all until I had the freedom to sleep whenever I wanted to. Now, when I do not have steady work I rest with more quality sleep when I want and need to sleep. I then write and work on my own time. I do not have to answer to parents, family or clock. Sure, when I do get work I will have to adjust -- but for now I get just as much work done sleeping only when I need it. I am betting that by not forcing the issue of sleep that I am becoming healthier.
That is not to say that work will not have to be done. Daily disciplines and routines bring us closer to God.[Or to human society if you so desire.] Not until I do my daily physical exercises do I 'gear up' and face problems with energy. Therefore:
Prayer and meditation also have meaning to me much like they could to an atheist -- for just by self-hypnosis do we 'rise to the occasion' and put our best foot forward. I simply refuse to feel badly about myself because of inane, insane, and selfish criticism. There are good reasons to like myself. Anything else from 'naysayers' would be bullying. When I am criticized though, I try to weigh the issues justly and act with accord. Hoping for humility I would even act accordingly.
For whatever reason my mental-emotional disability makes me work harder to be a valuable member of society. When I have felt like an outcast I have concerned myself with what part I would play in groups of people. Sometimes I hate to admit that I have stayed in a particular group either for fear or spite. Now I have changed. Instead I try to take the role of an adult male who works to attain goals no matter how small or large they may be. I feel that I can work as a loner in an Alaskan cottage, or with others in a crowded Delaware family swimming pool. I can now deal with a variety of venues.
My mental-emotional disability therefore has done the opposite to me -- it has given me strength by forcing me to 'overcome'.[MLK-inspiration] I want to show ways that the existence of a God explains just how inner fears can be dealt with.
Isolation is a two-edged sword. It can be used as a terrifying fear of humans or an attractive love towards God. We grow into the emotions that we allow ourselves to feel.
My wife, Leslie, wears two hearing aids. Without them it is difficult for her to communicate. She also cannot tolerate shrill or piercing noises in either ear. For these reasons I know that she is moving 'on her own thoughts' most of the time. Heck, a lot of the time she is unable to hear me. This physical frustration, this isolation makes her strong in my eyes.
I see her courage every day as God wakes us up with all of our other senses. Her choice to live fully is 'catchy' and despite her disability her kindness inspires me to be at my best.
Alone or together -- with gratitude and sharing in life -- actions are made to lead all feelings. "Actions speak louder than words." The Stigma of the Mentally Ill: Bob Does Everything Backwards
I hope and pray that we all can be of value to others -- and feel the gratitude that comes by honoring God and loving our neighbors.Godspeed;
Sincerely,
Robert N. Franz
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