Part Two: What Happened to Robert N. Franz III
The summer after I was raped in college, I worked on a plant site in Texas at construction. My 'friends' drank with me at night and one of them kept giving me amphetamines which I abused. I used them so much that I became uncontrollably paranoid in 'amphetamine psychosis.' This crossed me deeper into mental illness.
As a result my family kept me home from a semester at Occidental College (also known as 'Oxy') and this became the beginning of my 'Psychiatric Pill Odyssey.' Soon psychiatrists had me hooked on major tranquilizers and benzotropines. My second psychiatrist -- of Glendale, California -- even gave me 'black beauties' just to see what I would do with them. I became hospitalized again -- this time while at school at Oxy. Still -- in due time I was able to receive my baccalaureate degree in nothing else but -- chemistry.
Something has got to be said here. Psychiatrist's medicines can be very powerful. Some of the reactions to the medicines themselves can directly be "mind-blowing" while others cause a withdrawal so utterly strong that insanity ensues. In my case, the 'shrinks' did not tell me this -- I could only learn by taking or by stopping on my own. Because there were some drugs that I would get off abruptly -- withdrawal would quickly come and I would have to be hospitalized due to my own insanity. All of this is very touchy -- as I get off the pills even now it has to be done very slowly. For this I have definitely gained some fear and respect. Who is to say that by taking this medicine so faithfully for so long that my brain neurons have not actually changed? I need 'good' doctors not opportunists.
For years -- around different parts of the U.S.A. psychiatrists have 'played' with me. One administered hallucinatory and 'date-rape' drugs to me. Others would take away all my major tranquilizers making me so psychotic that I would have to be hospitalized. At the state hospital I was prescribed 400% more than the normal dose of my medicine thereby making side effects unbearable. Life was absolute misery.
Finally in a slow way some doctors came into my life who helped me. The first -- Kenneth Weller M.D. -- led me to the belief that I was addicted to alcohol and drugs. Even then some of that was so obvious and some of that was so very cloudy. But I at least understood that I had the key to the answer, if not in fact I finally did realize that I 'was' the problem in it's entirety. It was only I who had to control what was going into my mouth and system in general.
Knowing what to do and how to do it were two different things. No one had ever told me that just the abrupt stopping of certain medicines would cause a withdrawal which would lead to the ultimate psychosis -- as it does in many cases. It is a fact that thoughts, emotions, and actions vary widely when getting on and off of drugs -- all drugs. Why didn't people guide others in this earlier decades? Surely it should have been known or considered -- or [at least by those doctors who really use science] -- as 'theorized.' This is just another way in which violence can be stopped in our society. The vulnerable have to stop letting themselves be used -- the 'intelligentsia' have to stop looking down on others and using them.
Since 1981 I have been on a quest to stop the use of drugs by me, however, because of the unclear messages I received from medical professionals I have been unable to completely achieve this 'sobriety.' So in a fearsome sort of way I knew that I had to stop the usage of prescribed chemicals.
Marijuana and street drugs were stopped by me first. Alcohol was stopped in 1983. Abuse of some other drugs and over-the-counter drugs occurred in the early nineties. All other prescriptions are now being reduced. Whereas I believe in many medicines and vaccines -- so many others are pushed way beyond our immune systems. They are pushed beyond our limits.
I do not feel that drugs and alcohol should be banished or fully controlled in our society for people should have a choice in their usage. Certain remedies and simple vaccines ARE needed. I do feel that warnings should be stronger especially about health dangers and the realm of behavior. Having people moved to the point of violence is too far to go. More education in schools would be very helpful. In these cases though, the freedom of old the hippies of the '60's and '70's only would cause more deaths. Sensible and mature development in education would be the most beneficial course to take in the future.Bob Does Everything Backwards: Writing Out of an Illness
Please know that I do not want my experience to be wasted. Also, because I have spent so much time on this 'addictive tendency' in me that I do not want it to be the main thrust of my life. Specifically I want the reader to know that I have survived -- and that others may have the fortitude to work towards meaningful sane and sober decisions in their lives as well. Realize that no matter what the challenges in front of us answers can be found.
Sincerely,
Robert N. Franz
As a result my family kept me home from a semester at Occidental College (also known as 'Oxy') and this became the beginning of my 'Psychiatric Pill Odyssey.' Soon psychiatrists had me hooked on major tranquilizers and benzotropines. My second psychiatrist -- of Glendale, California -- even gave me 'black beauties' just to see what I would do with them. I became hospitalized again -- this time while at school at Oxy. Still -- in due time I was able to receive my baccalaureate degree in nothing else but -- chemistry.
Something has got to be said here. Psychiatrist's medicines can be very powerful. Some of the reactions to the medicines themselves can directly be "mind-blowing" while others cause a withdrawal so utterly strong that insanity ensues. In my case, the 'shrinks' did not tell me this -- I could only learn by taking or by stopping on my own. Because there were some drugs that I would get off abruptly -- withdrawal would quickly come and I would have to be hospitalized due to my own insanity. All of this is very touchy -- as I get off the pills even now it has to be done very slowly. For this I have definitely gained some fear and respect. Who is to say that by taking this medicine so faithfully for so long that my brain neurons have not actually changed? I need 'good' doctors not opportunists.
For years -- around different parts of the U.S.A. psychiatrists have 'played' with me. One administered hallucinatory and 'date-rape' drugs to me. Others would take away all my major tranquilizers making me so psychotic that I would have to be hospitalized. At the state hospital I was prescribed 400% more than the normal dose of my medicine thereby making side effects unbearable. Life was absolute misery.
Finally in a slow way some doctors came into my life who helped me. The first -- Kenneth Weller M.D. -- led me to the belief that I was addicted to alcohol and drugs. Even then some of that was so obvious and some of that was so very cloudy. But I at least understood that I had the key to the answer, if not in fact I finally did realize that I 'was' the problem in it's entirety. It was only I who had to control what was going into my mouth and system in general.
Knowing what to do and how to do it were two different things. No one had ever told me that just the abrupt stopping of certain medicines would cause a withdrawal which would lead to the ultimate psychosis -- as it does in many cases. It is a fact that thoughts, emotions, and actions vary widely when getting on and off of drugs -- all drugs. Why didn't people guide others in this earlier decades? Surely it should have been known or considered -- or [at least by those doctors who really use science] -- as 'theorized.' This is just another way in which violence can be stopped in our society. The vulnerable have to stop letting themselves be used -- the 'intelligentsia' have to stop looking down on others and using them.
Since 1981 I have been on a quest to stop the use of drugs by me, however, because of the unclear messages I received from medical professionals I have been unable to completely achieve this 'sobriety.' So in a fearsome sort of way I knew that I had to stop the usage of prescribed chemicals.
Marijuana and street drugs were stopped by me first. Alcohol was stopped in 1983. Abuse of some other drugs and over-the-counter drugs occurred in the early nineties. All other prescriptions are now being reduced. Whereas I believe in many medicines and vaccines -- so many others are pushed way beyond our immune systems. They are pushed beyond our limits.
I do not feel that drugs and alcohol should be banished or fully controlled in our society for people should have a choice in their usage. Certain remedies and simple vaccines ARE needed. I do feel that warnings should be stronger especially about health dangers and the realm of behavior. Having people moved to the point of violence is too far to go. More education in schools would be very helpful. In these cases though, the freedom of old the hippies of the '60's and '70's only would cause more deaths. Sensible and mature development in education would be the most beneficial course to take in the future.Bob Does Everything Backwards: Writing Out of an Illness
Please know that I do not want my experience to be wasted. Also, because I have spent so much time on this 'addictive tendency' in me that I do not want it to be the main thrust of my life. Specifically I want the reader to know that I have survived -- and that others may have the fortitude to work towards meaningful sane and sober decisions in their lives as well. Realize that no matter what the challenges in front of us answers can be found.
Sincerely,
Robert N. Franz
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