Five Things You Can No Longer Avoid This Winter
Today I walked to work.
“WELL BIG WHOOP, MAZEL TASSELS, CELEBRATION NATION AND ACORN CITY, AMELIA,” you are probably shouting in a sarcastic tone at your computer, causing those around you to crane their necks and consider whether or not you’re having an episode. Walking to work does not deserve accolades. Nor does taking the subway. These are the two most popular modes of transportation besides Heelys–
–but I am lazy and have developed a terrible, finance-depleting habit of cabs. Blame the weather.
Upon my arrival I made a big old scene about the walk where I mostly tried to catch my breath and not die, simultaneously exalting the benefits of using one’s legs as opposed to tires.
“It’s crazy how much longer you can withstand the cold when you’re wear a hat and gloves, right?” said Esther.
But then I was like, “What?”
Because no. I walked to work while freezing the whole time. I figured that was just how it was done.
Well Esther, bless (t)her, decided to help me get suited up. Here’s what she said I need:
1. A cheap beanie. (She thinks I’ll loose it.)
2. Rain boots for the girl who hates rain boots.
3. An “investment” scarf.
4. Tech gloves (of which I used to be a proponent, but then abandoned at the start of this winter after failing to locate the left hand of my only remaining pair).
5. A snood — yes, a snood.
So, because I’m committed to this newfangled walking thing and I can’t lose yet another finger to frostbite, I’m taking her advise and no longer ignoring the five things we likely all need this winter. Or at least tomorrow, when it’s rumored to be a tidy 1 degree.
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