Are You a Remote Controller?

Most people will lie when asked about the most difficult parts of romantic cohabitation.

One side will tell you that their partner’s Fantasy Football fetish is tearing them apart. The other will retort that they wouldn’t have to escape into a pipe dream of fake statistics if someone didn’t spend so much time nagging about toenail clippings on the bathroom floor. One would prefer not to clip his nails, but does so out of consideration; the other is tired of waking up with scratch marks on her calves.

Maybe she should sleep with pants on? No. They’d never have sex–

But none of that matters. The biggest challenge you will face upon sharing one roof is the fight over the remote control.

The fateful clicker; the sleek, buttoned rectangle of possibility and infinite portals of pixelation. It is the physical manifestation of your cultural priorities. It delivers laughter, fear, and Cupcake Wars while insisting that you take it easy. Both parties want it, but like the conch shell in Lord of the Flies, only one person can control it at a time.

Netflix is a blessing in this fight. With one click, it delivers entire series. A couple just needs to agree upon the show and then you’re set for at least ten episodes. Together, my husband and I have consumed Breaking Bad, House of Cards and The Walking Dead. But in the past month, we’ve reached the end of the Netflix road and have therefore hit the worst speed bump in our young marriage — what now do we watch? Nothing makes a couple evaluate their differences quite like conflicting tastes in television.

Recently, when asked what “romance” means to me, I exclaimed, “Someone who will watch Broad City with me. Remote relinquished, no questions asked.”

But since that’s not my reality, I hand the mic — er, remote — over to you. Are you a passive watcher or a remote hoarder? And also, thoughts on Sons of Anarchy? There are six seasons on Netflix.

Image shot by Roe Ethridge for W Magazine