Have Courage to Speak Up

If you disagree with what others are saying in a meeting or have an unpopular idea to bring up, you might start to squirm as you have an inner debate whether to speak up: 

On the one hand you want to share information that will be helpful, on the other hand you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and you are worried about the repercussions. Will you receive negative feedback, lose respect, be shunned…or fired? It takes courage to speak your mind, and to speak the truth. 

 Here are 3 tips that might help you have the courage to speak up in a meeting with an unpopular (but brilliant!) idea: 

 1. Focus on your Beneficiaries. Instead of thinking about what others’ response to you will be, take yourself out of the equation. Focus on the beneficiaries of the points you raise. As the great Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said: “From caring comes courage”. 

Who will be helped, or protected, or served by your input? Think about the value you will be doing for them. See yourself a champion for the truth. Be proud of your integrity. Often as women we will negotiate or take courageous action on behalf of others but not out of our own convictions. When necessary, leverage this tendency so you can muster your courage to speak up!

2) Get air cover. When you want to speak up you are often most concerned with the ‘political fallout’ (i.e., what people will think and say about you in the future). If you know you have information or positions that will be difficult to raise, see if you can float the idea ahead of time and get your manager, mentor, peers, or sponsor to back you up. Another helpful strategy is to raise the idea with key opinion leaders before the meeting (whenever possible) to see if they have any suggestions about how to ruffle the fewest feathers. 

3) Build rather than Destroy. Even if your point is unpopular try to say it in a way that bridges with what others have said, so that your idea seems more like a build on others ideas rather than a criticism. Be confident in your approach and pleasant in your tone. “I think your idea makes sense if we are thinking for the short term, but if we look at it in terms of the long term impact I would recommend we do it this way instead” 

And if you truly disagree in whole with what others are saying, then have the courage of your convictions and say so! Expect that you will be challenged so be prepared to back it up with facts and strong reasoning. Then take a deep breath and go for it! As Anais Nin once famously inspired us to remember: Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. 

 -Sharon Melnick, PhD, January 2015 Career Coach