The Only Habit you Need to Achieve your 2015 Goals

How many New Year’s resolutions did you make to better your life in 2015? What if you just focused on one thing, and mastered it to help your goals come true?

Consider the questions you ask yourself daily. When you face a challenging situation, the first thing you often do is ask yourself a question—dozens of times a day. And anytime you ask yourself a question, your supercomputer brain begins answering it. 

Below are 5 questions that will derail you from having the success you seek—try to shift away from them as soon as they pop into your head. Then I’ll share 5 questions that will make your 2015 fantastic if you make it a habit of asking them. 

5 questions that will derail you.

How can I change the other person so they understand what I need? 
This is a classic no-no! This question will cause immediate frustration and keep you stressed.

How can I avoid doing something about this situation I’m stuck in? 
You may get relief in the moment but will keep your professional life stalled and your life stuck.

I’m exhausted, how can I survive the day? 
This may help you get through your short term situation, but it perpetuates a cycle of exhaustion. For example, you may drink an afternoon cup of coffee every afternoon, instead of examining the real causes of your exhaustion and doing something to improve it.

How can I get another job? 
This question is too vague and makes it hard to get started. You want to ask questions that will get you information you can act on, such as: What kind of work do I want to do each day? Who is hiring in my area? What skills will I need? These questions are more specific and will get you in action.

What will other people think?
What other people think about you is the thing you can control the least. Trying your best in any situation is the best thing you can do to ensure that people will respect you.

Ask yourself these 5 questions instead. 

What does it look like to bring forth my best self in this situation? 
This question helps you focus on what you can control. It lifts you out of ‘what is,’ and enables you to see new possibilities that you can immediately act on

What is the single best action I can take right now that will move me closer to what I want in this situation? 
It’s always helpful to try to break any big challenge into small steps. For example, if you want to start your own home-based business and don’t know where to start, you might follow these steps: Step 1: Decide what kind of business. Do you have something to sell or know how to do something others don’t? Step 2. Find a way to let other people know what you offer. Start by sending an email to every person you know, or ask what you can do for someone in exchange for letting their network know. When you get more specific it’s easier to get started!

Who is already getting the result I want… and how can I learn from that person?
Hire or get mentored by that person! This is especially true if you are in a situation where you want to make a career move. Start reaching out to people in your network and see if you can be introduced to someone doing that job. Ask them what credentials and experience they needed, how they got it, and for the best piece of advice they could give you. Then do what they say!

What am I doing that is allowing this situation to perpetuate? 
If you are unhappy in your current work situation, ask yourself what you might be doing to contribute to it. For example, if you asked for more responsibility or reached out to more people in the organization would you feel more satisfied? If you are ready for a different job, then ask specific questions that will help you take first steps.

What am I grateful for?
Put this question into your heart and let it make you smile. It gives me energy AND calms me down. Suddenly the things I was stressing about seem in perspective. Try doing this one daily!

--Sharon Melnick, PhD, January 2015 Career Coach