Top Three Rules for Effective Discipline

I was asked by another parent what my top three ground rules to discipline were. Without ANY brainstorming, this is what popped and topped my list. 

1. Know that you are in charge:

How? Make it very clear that you will decide the consequences. Be aware that after a certain age, children know their parents’ weaknesses and start to bargain. Put all else aside and honor your position! 

Why? Children need structure in their lives. Claiming your lead role makes you dependable. It lets your children know that they can rely on you for guidance, which is a huge TRUST booster.

2. When you’re right, be kind:

How? Pay attention to your tone of voice. When we are right, we tend to be far from kind; our tone of voice changes. When we are angry, we tend to be loud. When we are right we tend to be condescending. When a mistake is repeated, we tend to get sarcastic. And absolutely no foul words… ever!!

Why? Parenthood is directorship, not a dictatorship. When kids make mistakes, they are about to learn something new. Your words and tone of voice can either shut them down and take you farther from getting the point across or help you cruise constructively through issues. Work it to your and their advantage. Lead by example because this is your chance to teach them how to bounce back from mistakes and earn their respect and once again, their TRUST.

3. Always give your child the benefit of the doubt:

How? Allow them to explain their side of the story especially if you KNOW that they were wrong. Breathe and just listen.

Why? This helps them put the event into words and more often than not, a huge emotional release will follow, which is ultra helpful in resolving issues. It is also a great way to practice self reflection and self realization, both big milestones for internal growth. Most importantly, it builds TRUST, the foundation of good communication and effective parenting. 

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