Clear-Headed
Clear-Headed
"Stabbed in the groin or shot in the face?" Michaela asked me.
"What?" I asked. She turned to other men in the room.
"Would you rather be stabbed in the groin or shot in the face?" she asked them.
"I'm trying to decide how to convince my dimwitted egomaniac ex to leave Jayson and me alone."
Emu said he'd like to explore a third option. James wanted details about the knife, position of the wounds, and caliber of the gun. Without hesitation, Relapse Boy said, "Shot in the face." I explained if she was serious, I had a duty to warn Michaela's ex.
"Of course I'm not %$#@#$% serious!" Michaela said to me. "But, it's just so frustrating how he shows up out of the blue, and Jayson falls for him. The man's an idiot! He's a high school coach who claims he started dating his wife the day after she graduated from that school. They took Jayson to Hooters for lunch. He told Jayson to call him 'Daddy' and his wife 'Mom,' since he calls me 'Mommy.' She's nineteen."
"Do you get to look him in the eyes while you stab him in the groin?" Ann asked. I shot her a disapproving look, but she and Michaela laughed. At least they were getting along.
"Are you thinking about drinking over this?" Julie asked.
"No, I've been thinking about that whole 'not turning reasons to stay sober into reasons to drink' thing. If I'm going to stay out of jail and deal with my ex, I'm going to need to be clear-headed."
Today I will be grateful I can meet life's challenges with a clear head.
AArdvarks (c) 2013 by Ken Montrose
"Stabbed in the groin or shot in the face?" Michaela asked me.
"What?" I asked. She turned to other men in the room.
"Would you rather be stabbed in the groin or shot in the face?" she asked them.
"I'm trying to decide how to convince my dimwitted egomaniac ex to leave Jayson and me alone."
Emu said he'd like to explore a third option. James wanted details about the knife, position of the wounds, and caliber of the gun. Without hesitation, Relapse Boy said, "Shot in the face." I explained if she was serious, I had a duty to warn Michaela's ex.
"Of course I'm not %$#@#$% serious!" Michaela said to me. "But, it's just so frustrating how he shows up out of the blue, and Jayson falls for him. The man's an idiot! He's a high school coach who claims he started dating his wife the day after she graduated from that school. They took Jayson to Hooters for lunch. He told Jayson to call him 'Daddy' and his wife 'Mom,' since he calls me 'Mommy.' She's nineteen."
"Do you get to look him in the eyes while you stab him in the groin?" Ann asked. I shot her a disapproving look, but she and Michaela laughed. At least they were getting along.
"Are you thinking about drinking over this?" Julie asked.
"No, I've been thinking about that whole 'not turning reasons to stay sober into reasons to drink' thing. If I'm going to stay out of jail and deal with my ex, I'm going to need to be clear-headed."
Today I will be grateful I can meet life's challenges with a clear head.
AArdvarks (c) 2013 by Ken Montrose
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