5 Things to Talk About Today

Sunday night’s MTV Video Music Awards provided enough headlines/superlatives to last all week, but ICYMI a lot of other stuff happened online too. Here’s a news roundup to get it all out of your system before the Emmys tonight.

1. Reasons To Watch MTV on Mute

Whoever was in charge of writing the subtitles for MTV.com’s VMA playback may or may not have been drunk and typing on iPhone while wearing fake nails.

…Close enough. [MTV.com]

2. The Earth Shook And Broke A Lot Of Wine Bottles

A 6.0-magnitude earthquake shook Napa Valley, California on Sunday, breaking millions of dollars worth of wine bottles and barrels. They say not to cry over spilled milk, but spilled wine is an entirely different story. [Grub Street]

3. New Yorkers Collectively Forgot to Celebrate City’s 350th Birthday

New Yorkers are some of the world’s best partiers, which is why it’s so shocking that we collectively forgot to celebrate our own city’s 350th birthday. We didn’t even make a card! Shame on us. [NYTimes]

4. Prepare for the Emmys With Lena Dunham 

Expert beauty tip: prepare for the Emmys by enjoying some huevos rancheros and allowing your hair to marinate in its own natural oils

— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) August 25, 2014

5. Jezebel Somehow Got Us to Watch Tampon Ads for a Good Five Minutes

They lured us in with the line, “These Australian tampon commercials are batshit and delightful,” and did not fail to deliver.

Still very much into the word “hoo ha,” but point taken. [Jezebel]