Friends, life and learning
Life as an author can be really hard sometimes, but life as a mother - with a child with Autism can be so much worse. Don't get me wrong, there a many moments when life is treasured, beautiful and a gift, but when something goes wrong, the bad times are so hard, it can take all of my strength to keep going.
And that is when I find a true friend.
Our car broke down on Tuesday with myself and my daughter. Stability is fundamental to my child's life and this did not compute in her mind that breakdowns happen - a pain yes, but not the end of the world - in her world, it is.
In a strange way, she is right. it is now Thursday and still the car is not fixed due to a wrong piece being sent. Her world evolves around routines set months in advance sometimes so she knows what is to happen and can become comfortable in that scenario. To have change is catastrophic in her world and it collapses.
And I have a friend.
Who heard the cries of panic and lent me her car for the day so my daughter could get to her after-school activity and I could collect her.
I am crying as i write. not from anger or frustration, but from love. This has shown me that there truly are kind people in this world, but also that i should 'ask'.
My heart dropped yesterday when told the car would not be ready and I felt very alone. Who could I ask for help? But more important to me was, how could I ask for so much help? I was embarrassed and scared to ask for so much, not because of possible rejection, but because of coming across as wanting, needy, taking advantage, using someone, ruining their day. The thought of 'asking' for help is such a hard thing, why?
I ask for help in a professional capacity all the time. I need help to reach readers - yet something personal that has greater impact on mine and my daughters life is difficult to contemplate.
I have learned so much.
I would love to hear from others who have had experiences of asking as I feel that surely I am not the only person who has felt these feelings of shame???
Blessings to you all
xx
P.J Roscoe
And that is when I find a true friend.
Our car broke down on Tuesday with myself and my daughter. Stability is fundamental to my child's life and this did not compute in her mind that breakdowns happen - a pain yes, but not the end of the world - in her world, it is.
In a strange way, she is right. it is now Thursday and still the car is not fixed due to a wrong piece being sent. Her world evolves around routines set months in advance sometimes so she knows what is to happen and can become comfortable in that scenario. To have change is catastrophic in her world and it collapses.
And I have a friend.
Who heard the cries of panic and lent me her car for the day so my daughter could get to her after-school activity and I could collect her.
I am crying as i write. not from anger or frustration, but from love. This has shown me that there truly are kind people in this world, but also that i should 'ask'.
My heart dropped yesterday when told the car would not be ready and I felt very alone. Who could I ask for help? But more important to me was, how could I ask for so much help? I was embarrassed and scared to ask for so much, not because of possible rejection, but because of coming across as wanting, needy, taking advantage, using someone, ruining their day. The thought of 'asking' for help is such a hard thing, why?
I ask for help in a professional capacity all the time. I need help to reach readers - yet something personal that has greater impact on mine and my daughters life is difficult to contemplate.
I have learned so much.
I would love to hear from others who have had experiences of asking as I feel that surely I am not the only person who has felt these feelings of shame???
Blessings to you all
xx
P.J Roscoe
No comments have been added yet.
