Writing Tip of the Day #1 - Actions Speak Louder Than Words
One of the greatest temptations in writing is to simply tell the readers how a character feels. Naturally, there are times when this may be unavoidable. But what we should be trying to do is to show the readers how a character feels. Consider the following examples:
a) “Why did you betray us?” Bob shouted angrily. “We were your friends!”
b) “Why did you betray us?” Bob’s fists clenched. “We were your friends!”
In the first case, it’s easy to see that Bob is angry – we’ve simply stated that outright. It’s also easy to see that Bob is angry in the second case – but instead of stating it outright, the reader infers that Bob is angry because of his behaviour. Clenched fists are a sign of anger.
How about another example?
a) Just the thought of the test was enough to terrify Amy.
b) Just the thought of the test was enough to make Amy’s hands shake.
Again, this is a fairly trivial example, but the point should be fairly clear. In the first example, we have simply told the readers how Amy feels. But in the second example, the readers infer how Amy feels because of her behaviour. The most likely reason that her hands are shaking is because she is nervous or afraid.
By showing how a character feels through their actions, we give readers a much better idea of who they are and what they’re doing than if we simply state how they feel. Telling the readers that a character is angry doesn’t help them imagine anything. Talking about how a character’s fists are clenched, their teeth are bared, and their voice hoarse from yelling paints a much more vivid picture of what is going on.
If you’re interested in more of my thoughts on writing, you can find those here.
I also write original fiction (mostly fantasy). You can find that here.
a) “Why did you betray us?” Bob shouted angrily. “We were your friends!”
b) “Why did you betray us?” Bob’s fists clenched. “We were your friends!”
In the first case, it’s easy to see that Bob is angry – we’ve simply stated that outright. It’s also easy to see that Bob is angry in the second case – but instead of stating it outright, the reader infers that Bob is angry because of his behaviour. Clenched fists are a sign of anger.
How about another example?
a) Just the thought of the test was enough to terrify Amy.
b) Just the thought of the test was enough to make Amy’s hands shake.
Again, this is a fairly trivial example, but the point should be fairly clear. In the first example, we have simply told the readers how Amy feels. But in the second example, the readers infer how Amy feels because of her behaviour. The most likely reason that her hands are shaking is because she is nervous or afraid.
By showing how a character feels through their actions, we give readers a much better idea of who they are and what they’re doing than if we simply state how they feel. Telling the readers that a character is angry doesn’t help them imagine anything. Talking about how a character’s fists are clenched, their teeth are bared, and their voice hoarse from yelling paints a much more vivid picture of what is going on.
If you’re interested in more of my thoughts on writing, you can find those here.
I also write original fiction (mostly fantasy). You can find that here.
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