"A Message from Your Publisher's Marketing Department"

Every job has unique challenges. For writers, one of the most pernicious of these is marketing. I had fun with that idea in this new piece for the The Oregonian —a form letter from a generic publisher to its stable of authors...
Ooh, two other things:1.) The end of item 3 should read "Antony Hopkins."
2.) And of course, I ran this article past my publisher's marketing department before submitting it to the O! (Luckily, most people in the book industry have well-honed senses of humor.)