An Ex-Con Who Can't Get A Better Job Than Security At Walgreens

On Fri night, I went out drinking in North Beach.

At Tupelo, I see this pretty blond woman I know as a regular customer at my Tenderloin Walgreens. She comes in daily M - F wearing business power suits. I said 'Hi,' she was pretty drunk, hanging with a few equally pretty girlfriends and boring Ben Affleck-looking yuppie dudes.

She asked if I was working as a bouncer at the bar. "No," I said, "I'm just having a drink."

Later, I see the same woman with her friends at Maggie's, while there she said, "I always had you pegged as an ex-con who couldn't get a better job than Security at Walgreens."

Not pleased with what she said but always pondering an insult's motivation, I asked if that turned her on and she said, "Oh, my God, NO!"

Me being me, I proceeded to heavily promote my novel, 'Eli,Ely' to much skepticism and disbelief to her and her YUPPIE crowd.

On Sun, the woman came into Walgreens wearing sweats with a copy of my novel asking for an autograph. I thanked her and while I was signing it mentioned that I didn't appreciate the "ex-con-who- can't-get-a-better-job-than-Security-at-Walgreens comment."

She told me she's an attorney and likes ex-cons, "that's my bread and butter," she says.

She never apologizes.

Who cares? I got a sale.

The old me would've told her to fuck-off at the bar and tried to pick a fight with one of her male companions, the new me bites his tongue and gets her to buy his novel.

The End.
11/25/2013.