What to do When Empathy Isn't Enough

When those around us are experiencing challenging emotions, many women react with empathy. This is a strength in that it allows us to be good listeners and develop meaningful relationships in our personal and professional lives. But if we want to be outstanding leaders, we need to go beyond that.

Empathy means that if someone is feeling upset, we understand what they’re going through because we know what it’s like to feel that way.  So it helps us support others when we can relate to their experiences.

But what if we can't? Then, we need to get out of our own heads and be willing to view the situation or issue through the eyes of someone else. If we prejudge them because they're different from us, we may inadvertently discount their feelings as though their reason for feeling a certain way isn’t valid.

If you are in conflict with another person, or disagree on an issue, put yourself in their position. Imagine the world from their vantage point and not from your own.

You’ll be better able to understand the reason for their behavior, viewpoint or feeling.  This will make it easier for you to find common ground and resolve the issue. Understanding does not mean you agree with them, or that their response is appropriate, but you will work better with them or develop a better strategy. 

-Simma Lieberman, "The Inclusionist"
Career Coach
www.simmalieberman.com