How to Deal with a Spider Dangling Over Your Face at 3AM

1. Scream.
2. Flail around with something hard.
3. Throw books at the spider.
4. Throw books at where the spider was .054 seconds ago.
5. Scream some more as the spider now crawls towards your face once more with the desire for revenge gleaming in those eight evil eyes.
6. Kill spider with mousepad.
7. Realize mousepad is on your bed. "Unclean! Unclean!"
8. Throw mousepad across the room in horror.
9. Check to make sure spider is really dead.
10. OMG THE LEG TWITCHED! EAT TWILIGHT SAGA, SPIDERMAN!
11. False alarm.
12. Throw Twilight across the room with the unsanitary mousepad.
13. Breathe out a sigh of relief that the horror is over.
14. For now...
26 likes ·   •  11 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 03, 2013 03:03 Tags: funny, humor, life, lists, random
Comments Showing 1-11 of 11 (11 new)    post a comment »
dateUp arrow    newest »

message 1: by Liz (new)

Liz Barnsley That made me giggle SO MUCH. Remind me to tell you about my daughter, the daddy long legs and the shower curtain one day.... :)


message 2: by Llaph (new)

Llaph This is one reason to be grateful that I am blind now ... I can't see spiders to freak out about them. Though I can flail like a dumbass at the ball/string thing hanging from the ceiling of the garage that lets people know how far to pull in--thinking that it is a spider.


message 3: by readtoomuch (new)

readtoomuch The worst is afterwards though, when it feels like it's crawling on your arm or leg or it feels like it's in your hair. *shudder*


Spider the Doof Warrior Or 1 catch the spider and send it to Synesthesia alive because she loves spiders?


message 5: by Mx3 (new)

Mx3 You forgot the paranoia left behind, waiting for the spider to pounce again.


message 6: by [deleted user] (last edited Oct 03, 2013 08:56AM) (new)

The spider extends a shaky leg. With its last spark of life, cries to its hidden brethren, “By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan… avenge me!”


Bookkitten (collector of nice things) *loooks*
*blinks*
*looks again*
*tries to say something*
*pauses*

You should save this procedure for your next book.


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

Skyla takes the awesome cake for the day. :)


message 9: by Nenia (new)

Nenia Campbell I love you guys for referencing Galaxy Quest.


message 10: by Brenda (new)

Brenda BEST MOVIE EVAR


Jeanette (Ms. Feisty) You are so funny, Nenia. Thanks for sharing your midnight adventure.


back to top