My fear of blogging

Every so often, I say to myself “I really need to blog more.” and then the feeling passes and my blog remains untouched.

Here is the reason. I am afraid.

I am afraid that I wont have anything important or interesting to say. I fear the times I do have something important or interesting to say, that people will judge me harshly and it would ruin my career forever.

But, how can this be? You ask. You post on Facebook and Twitter about your life all the time.

Here is the answer to that. On the social networks, I rarely post about politics, parenting issues, or my strong views on certain things like gun control. I do, however make the occasional post about these things so it’s not like I never do. The social networks are the life blood of my writing career, my fans and friends are on there and they are the ones who buy, recommend and talk about my books. Yes, I need them, but more than anything I feel that they are entitled to their opinions and most importantly, I would never want to offend them by posting something they disliked or disagreed with.

Yes, I am a people pleaser.

My friend Kym is constantly telling me that I am the mediator, the one who wants everyone to get along and live happily ever after. I admit, this trait of mine has gotten me walked all over more than a doormat in front of a mall. But, it’s who I am.

Back to why I fear blogging

Sure, I have lots of stuff to talk about, but what if you think my ways of parenting are wrong and spread it all over the internet that I’m a crappy mom? I know, I know, why should I care, everyone has an opinion. Well, the fact is that I care because I do. I am a people pleaser remember! I can’t help it!

I do the self-publishing 101 blogs as video blogs and those are easy, to the point, instructional videos. More like, this is what worked for me and this is how you do it. That is all right, but when it comes to personal blogs, I’m not so comfortable with it.

A lot of the stuff I feel strongly about probably would offend some people. No, I’m not perfect, just like all of you aren’t either.

I am sensitive.

My husband tries to joke with me all the time and I end up crying. (poor guy) I’m sensitive to what people think about me. That is part of the people pleaser persona (say that three times) so obviously, I’m going to be sensitive to what others think. Do you guys know how long it took me to realize that I had to get a back bone when it came to reviews on my book? FOREVER! I don’t even look at most of them now, but when you have a new book out you want to know what they are thinking about it. It’s tough, really tough when people don’t like something you put your heart and soul (blood, sweat and tears) into. But there is always going to be someone who doesn’t like it. Always! And that, getting the back bone and over the fear, I did conquer.

So I have to conquer this one too.

Hence forth, I must blog about my life experiences and not give a crap what you think!

Till next time…