The Writer’s Predicament

Today’s predicament involves mutts. Specifically, female mutts and what to do with them. I’m a mutt lover, have been all my life, but I’m not a mutt nut. My wife is a mutt nut.

Right now, we have four mutts. One, a little cocker spaniel mix named Bella, was recently dumped on us by my son and his girlfriend. There’s really no other way to put it. They brought the dog over, they left, the dog stayed and has been here ever since. “No,” I said. “We have three dogs. We don’t want another.”

“But she’s so cute,” said my wife, the mutt nut.

“Which part of the word ‘no’ escapes your understanding? No more dogs.”

“But look at those eyes.”

In fairness to my son, he’s been traveling because of his new job. His girl, who originally couldn’t resist the dog when a friend offered her as a puppy, is in grad school and is extremely busy. Like us, they just moved into a new place. Their place is an apartment in the city. Ours is in the boonies on the lake on a dead-end road. It isn’t nearly as crowded out here as it is in the city. They thought Bella would be happier as a country girl.

But Miss Bella is an independent-minded mutt. She doesn’t come when you call her. She comes when she’s hungry. She likes to be chased, especially at the most inopportune times, like when I’m late for something. She respects no boundaries, including the neighbors’ yards and pays no heed to things like roads and cars. She disappears for hours at a time.

Last week, unknown to us, she came into heat. Kristy and I have always had male mutts. We had no experience with females. That has now changed. Bella took off one morning and came back with a beagle named J.J., who belongs to the neighbors a couple of doors down and has the same respect for boundaries as Bella. J.J. and Bella suddenly became inseparable. Even when we managed to get her into the house at night, J.J. stood outside and scratched at the door and whined. All night. Every night for a week.

I have no doubt that Bella is now pregnant. J.J., like any true hound, has suddenly dumped her. Google says the gestation period for a mutt is nine weeks, so in approximately 56 days, Bella will drop a litter of cute little cocker beagle puppies. My mutt nut wife is thrilled.

Mutt, anyone? Let me know…