It's Hard to Look Before You Leap With a Mob on Your Heels

You've heard of Aesop, right? He's the ancient Greek who wrote classic fables like "The Tortoise and the Hare" and "The Tortoise and the Hare II: Rodent's Revenge."

Aesop may have been the first children's book author. As such, he should have been beloved for his merry ways and warm heart. Ha! Actually, Aesop was extremely insulting, sarcastic, and was known for embezzling money from rich benefactors.

And so instead of constantly trotting out new fables to public acclaim, Aesop died sprinting...